IHIMML Chapter 57

 

Kaien smiled as he gently massaged her ankle.

It was sore, but perhaps because his hands were so warm, the pain seemed to lessen a bit. When the conversation paused, his touch felt even more intimate.

The firm shoulder under her fingertips, the careful and warm caress as if handling the most precious thing in the world, and the yearning gaze that gnawed at her nerves.

Philome couldn’t take her eyes off Kaien, who was staring intently at her ankle.

Kaien gazed at Philome’s white calves, wrapped in translucent stockings that revealed her skin. The light dress fluttered in the breeze, causing her slightly protruding knees to appear and disappear.

Can a leg like that, which seems to be barely holding together, actually support her body? Looking at her slender calves made him doubt.

If they belonged to someone else, he would have simply wondered if they could walk around with them. But Philome’s calves drew his attention.

Everything was stimulating, from the translucent stockings to the small ribbons attached to them.

Kaien’s gaze slid down to her ankle. It was thinner than her calves. Considering it was slightly swollen now, it must be even thinner normally.

Unconsciously, Kaien’s hand gradually tightened around her ankle like a shackle.

Neither of them noticed it.

The more he tightened, the more he liked how perfectly Philome’s ankle fit into his hand without any gaps.

It felt as if he had captured Philome in his grasp.

A strange sense of satisfaction filled him, accompanied by a subtle pleasure. Kaien’s hand tightened even more around Philome’s ankle.

“Ugh!”

Philome let out a small moan as a sharp sensation coursed up her ankle.

At the same moment, Kaien lifted his head, and their gazes met.

Philome couldn’t tear her eyes away from the vivid desire writhing in his violet iris.

Philome felt like she was completely trapped by Kaien’s purple eyes, as if someone were holding her head in place.

It felt like stepping one foot at a time into a swamp from which she couldn’t escape. She knew all too well that if she lingered even a moment longer, she wouldn’t be able to get out of this violet swamp.

Yet Philome willingly threw herself into that swamp.

Under the moonlight, Kaien was entranced by Philome’s trembling green eyes, which sparkled beautifully. He stared at her blankly before finally speaking.

“I’ve been having a recurring thought lately.”

Kaien’s voice broke the silence.

It had a dark, heavy tone, contrasting with the strange atmosphere.

“The closer I get to you, the more I fear losing you, the more I fear that I won’t be able to protect you.”

Then he lowered his gaze.

“That’s why I dislike the idea of you meeting Winston, and I don’t want you to engage in anything even slightly dangerous. I don’t want to create situations where you could get hurt.”

Sometimes he wanted to create a small room where they could be together.

A place where Philome was always present, where he could reach out and touch her no matter how he stretched his hands, and where he could hear her laughter right beside him without even straining to listen—a very small room.

Kaien had only recently realized that this was obsession.

He was not typically an obsessive person. Since he could have whatever he wanted at any time, he had never fixated on any object, and the people around him were those he had been with for a long time, so he had never felt the need to obsess over them.

But Philome was different.

She wasn’t someone who had been with him from the start. She had abruptly entered his life in the middle of it.

“I feel like I want everything about you more and more—the gaze that holds me, the voice that calls my name, even the touch of your hands.”

Kaien grasped the hem of her dress, fluttering gently in the wind, and pressed his lips to its edge.

“I want to hear an answer I’ve never heard before.”

With his lips still resting on the sweet fabric of her dress, Kaien looked up at Philome.

“What about you?”

“…….”

“Do you want me to see only you, call only you, and touch only you? Is that what you want?”

He tilted his head and rested it on Philome’s knee.

“Please say you want it.”

Philome’s lips quivered. She could feel the tremor in Kaien’s hand, which held the hem of her dress.

“Do you remember that time?”

“Yeah?”

“When you hurriedly came to find me after getting hurt, the day we had our first real contact.”

Philome took a breath.

She continued, looking at Kaien, who wore a puzzled expression.

“Why did you kiss me?”

“…….”

“You didn’t have to go that far. We’re at 70%, so we could have kept it moderate.”

Just holding hands and hugging would have been enough.

But Kaien didn’t do that. He pressed his lips to Philome’s neck, rubbing his nose and forehead against her as if marking her with his scent, and then finally kissed her.

“……Because I like you.”

Kaien confessed.

“I like you.”

He liked her, Philome.

 

☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓

Philome couldn’t understand why the female lead in the novel she was possessed in would reject the male lead’s confession. But in this moment, she could understand how she felt.

In fact, she had never really felt any affection for the main characters in [To You Who Won’t Regret].

Yet Kaien’s confession came as a significant shock to Philome.

Although the original story had already gone off the rails, its presence was still significant. It had been ten years since she possessed the character, but that remained unchanged.

Of course, that wasn’t the only issue.

‘Is he really sure he likes me?’

Philome was Kaien’s match.

Philome couldn’t tell if Kaien liked her true self or if he liked her as the “compatible partner Philome” who alleviates his pain.

“If I weren’t a match, would you still like me like you do now, Duke?”

“What? Why are you suddenly talking about being a match…”

Kaien, initially puzzled, realized what Philome meant.

He was shocked to think that he hadn’t given her enough faith. However, upon rational reflection, her doubts and anxieties were entirely understandable.

“Now, let’s consider the opposite: what if I think of myself as Philome’s match?”

If Philome, who had suffered until meeting him, regained her peace after encountering her match, and if she had continued to express her feelings and confessed right after that.

“……I’d be fine with that.”

“Comptible Match Kaien” was also a part of himself.

But he was aware that this was just his perspective. Philome’s thoughts would likely be different.

And as expected, Philome didn’t see herself as “Comptible Match Philome.” This was because the original Philome had no abilities.

Philome felt that the power as a compatible match didn’t belong to her at all.

Her closeness to Kaien had only developed after confirming their compatibility. She couldn’t shake the suspicion that his blind devotion as a transcendent might be the reason he treated her this way. Therefore, Kaien’s confession only made her feel uneasy.

“……The answer to that question is ‘no.’”

Philome bit her lip tightly.

Seeing this, Kaien quickly added, “You need to hear me out completely. I probably didn’t just like you; I’ve come to love you. Well, it seems like I’ll love you even more in just a little while.”

“What?”

“I think our physical contact is actually a hindrance to us.”

Kaien sat up and grabbed the end of Philome’s sleeve instead of her hand.

“If that hindrance hadn’t existed, I would have fallen for you much faster. Of course, it’s not that I don’t love you now. I’ve already fallen in love while talking.”

“Wha…?”

Philome could only repeat the same words in a daze.

She couldn’t understand what Kaien was saying at all.

Kaien slowly reached out and brushed Philome’s cheek.

“If you think that way, I’ll make an effort.”

He naturally tucked stray hair behind her ear.

“I have good patience. And I’m perceptive. You will definitely come to acknowledge my love.”

Kaien whispered.

“And you’ll say this to me.”

They were close enough that their breaths mingled.

Kaien leaned in until his lips were almost touching hers, yet he didn’t take his eyes off Philome.

“I love you. I can’t stand it if I don’t love you.”

“…….”

“…that’s what you’ll say.”