Episode 71
Serena was startled and turned around abruptly. There, she met a pair of blue eyes.
Azaid had just finished washing, and a warm, damp aura radiated from him. Droplets of water occasionally fell from his still-damp hair.
Although he wore a robe over his pajamas, he exuded an unusually alluring presence. His blue eyes flickered between Serena and the portrait hanging on the wall.
“What are you doing here?”
“Uh…”
Serena let out a hesitant sound. She had always known he was handsome, but this was a different level of stunning.
Was it because he had just come out of the bath?
His face seemed brighter, and his lips looked redder than usual. His hair sparkled as if illuminated by stars, making him seem like a source of light.
In short, he was practically glowing.
To exude such charm so blatantly…
It was now clear why young men and women alike blushed when they saw him. Serena instinctively took a step back and muttered, “I was just… admiring.”
“And how did you find this place?”
Azaid pulled Serena further away from the portrait, creating distance between her and it. Then, he naturally drew the curtains to cover it.
Serena watched the portrait gradually disappear behind the curtains. Now that she thought about it, the woman in the painting resembled Azaid.
She had a sudden inkling about the identity of the person in the portrait. Turning to Azaid, she spoke, “I was mesmerized because the portrait is so beautiful.”
“You don’t even know who it is.”
“Who is it, then?”
At her question, Azaid looked down at her silently. Emotions flared and settled repeatedly in his blue eyes before he finally answered in a slow, quiet tone.
“…My mother.”
Of course.
Serena now understood why the figure in the portrait felt so familiar. She was Azaid’s mother, after all. Seeing him every day made it natural for her face to seem recognizable.
Since there was no trace of Mydia in the imperial palace, this was her first time seeing her face.
“So that’s where His Majesty got his beauty from—Lady Mydia.”
“Is that so?”
Azaid replied lightly, his gaze fixed on the curtains. His eyes seemed to be tracing the portrait hidden behind them.
Following his gaze, Serina asked, “Why did you cover it with the curtain?”
“…Because it keeps bringing back memories.”
“Do those memories fade when you don’t look at it?”
“…No.”
Azaid smiled bitterly, gripping the curtain. Serena glanced at the wrinkled fabric, lost in thought.
Her own memories of her biological mother were far from pleasant—almost nonexistent, really. Her mother was far from affectionate and often treated her as a burden.
Poverty destroys people.
It strips them of physical and emotional warmth, leaving them so desolate that they can’t care for those around them. Serena’s mother, trapped in the cycle of poverty, gradually neglected her.
The rare moments of kindness she displayed were usually for selfish reasons, like making Serena do something or indulging a good mood.
Serena had learned to read her mother’s moods and endure with grit. She found solace in the mere fact that her mother hadn’t abandoned her—until she did, handing her over to her biological father.
At first, Serena didn’t even realize she had been abandoned; she was happy, thinking she was going to meet her father.
When she was hungry, she would imagine her father appearing like a prince from a fairy tale, rescuing her and her mother.
She had hoped that she and her mother would finally have a father figure in their lives.
But when she met him and saw the family he had by his side, she realized that fairy tales were just that—fairy tales.
She didn’t resent her mother too much. Even as a child, she vaguely sensed that adults had their own complicated circumstances.
Shaking off the memories of her past, Serena looked at Azaid. He was still staring blankly at the curtain, as if gazing at the portrait beyond it.
“You must have been close.”
“At the time, we only had each other to rely on.”
Azaid’s response was slow and reflective, as if he were recalling the past. From the look in his eyes, it was clear that Mydia had been a good mother to him.
Even in death, she remained so dear to him that he couldn’t bear to look at her portrait freely.
A pang of sympathy struck Serena’s heart. Perhaps that’s why, on impulse, she placed her hand on top of his. His slightly cold hand flinched at the warmth of her palm.
“You know,” she said, “if you can’t stop thinking about her, maybe it’s better to look.”
“The more I look, the more painful it gets.”
“But isn’t it painful even when you don’t look?”
“….”
“Maybe it hurts more because you keep trying not to see her.”
No one likes pain. Avoiding it is only natural—it’s human instinct.
Sometimes, avoidance can be helpful, as there are pains that naturally fade without enduring unnecessary suffering.
On the other hand, there are pains that must be confronted. The more you avoid them, the more the agony doubles, eventually overwhelming you and leading to despair.
For Azaid, his mother seemed to fall into the latter category.
“I don’t really have many memories of my mother, so I can’t fully understand Your Majesty’s pain,” Serena began to speak, almost to herself.
“My mother was… a peculiar person. She cared more about what went into her mouth than she did about me.”
“……”
“But still, there were times when she would share something delicious with me first. Because of that, I couldn’t completely resent her.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Not really. If I did, I would’ve gone looking for her a long time ago.”
Serena smiled faintly while tightly holding Azaid’s hand.
“Letting it flow away naturally helps you move on. Your Majesty should try breaking down the dam in your heart and letting it flow.”
“…What if I can’t do that?”
Azaid’s gaze seemed to tremble slightly, his fingertips cold to the touch. Serena gently pressed his hands between hers and calmly replied,
“Then you’ll just have to keep trying until it works. If the dam bursts without preparation, it’ll be much harder to manage.”
“……”
“The longer you leave the wounds in your heart untreated, the more they fester and become difficult to heal. In some ways, they’re even scarier than physical illnesses.”
“You’re sounding like a doctor again.”
“Well, that’s because I am a doctor, Your Majesty. A doctor dedicated solely to you.”
Serena smiled as she warmed his cold hands with hers.
At some point, Azaid had become an important patient to Serena—someone she didn’t want to see hurt, someone she wanted to help when he was feeling down.
But did Azaid know how much affection she poured into caring for him?
“I can’t be half-hearted when it comes to my patients. I’m always sincere.”
“Yet you talk sweetly while secretly planning to leave in a year.”
“Sounds like you’ll miss me,” Serena replied playfully, shaking his hand lightly. Who would’ve thought that the man who had once threatened to slit her throat at their first meeting would now be sitting here, joking with her like this?
She smiled naturally, thinking about how surprising life could be.
Azaid quietly watched her. Her damp purple hair clung to her collarbone, and her lips glistened like ripe apricots. Her eyes, gazing up at him, sparkled like pieces of the moon plucked from the night sky.
A burning sensation rose in his throat, and he felt a thirst that made his Adam’s apple bob.
– Hey, do you really think Lily would be that upset?
Why was Jack’s voice echoing in his mind now of all times?
– Think carefully. If Serena and Lily really are different, ask yourself why.
What made him feel that Serena and Lily were different? He’d known Lily much longer than Serena.
So why was he opening his heart to Serena more than he ever had to Lily? Why did he keep wishing that Serena would understand him?
Why did every word and action from her make his heart pound so loudly it felt like it would burst?
Why did he keep wanting her by his side? Why did the thought of another man near her irritate him so much?
Why, why, why?
Why did he keep wanting to see Serina?
“…!”
Amid the endless stream of questions, Azaid arrived at a single answer, and his face flushed red.
Why had it taken him so long to realize it? The answer had always been clear.
Perhaps Jack had already figured it out. Azaid looked at Serena with confused eyes.
“Your Majesty, should I not leave after all?”
She was still smiling, as if something amused her. Her clear voice continued to stir his thoughts.
‘Ah, I… I like Serena.’
Azaid bit his lower lip and finally identified the cause of the emotions that had been tormenting him.
He liked her—Serena.
More deeply than he had realized.
The feelings had seeped in unnoticed, and by the time he became aware of them, he was already in too deep.
Now that he understood, the fact that they were holding hands made his heart race uncontrollably.
His body had been sending him signals all along, yet he had dismissed them as mere physical ailments.
As Azaid remained frozen, staring intently at Serena, she frowned slightly at his silence and serious expression.
“Ugh, look at you not answering. It seems like Your Majesty really wants me to leave soon, doesn’t it?”
• ❁ • ❁ • ❁ •By Esraa• ❁ • ❁ • ❁ •
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