Chapter 57
[“Of course, this book was written for those dull-witted individuals. After all, fools need to be spoon-fed.” (At this point, Serena almost threw the book again.)
Most Awakened who are unable to use magic share one common trait: their memories of the moment of manifestation are faint.
Conversely, those with vivid memories of their awakening often possess strong magical abilities.
In other words, the clearer one’s memory of the awakening, the higher the likelihood of becoming a powerful mage. Conversely, if there are no memories of the event, one is nothing more than a mage in name only.
Therefore, if you want to use magic, you need to recover your memories. Simple, isn’t it?
Now, many might wonder how to retrieve these memories.
To cut to the chase: if you don’t have any memories, unfortunately, that Awakened individual is hopeless.
The only option left is to pray for the miracle of accidentally discovering how to use magic.
Instead of wasting your time, accept your inadequacies and live an ordinary life.”]
The book ended with that statement. Serena flipped through the remaining pages several times, wondering if there was more, but found nothing.
“……”
Serena was at a loss for words. She felt sorry for the librarian but thought she might have confronted the author if they were still alive.
This thick book was half full of material that seemed to mock her, a quarter full of things she already knew, and only a small portion contained anything remotely helpful.
“…Is this their way of criticizing me to the very end?”
Serena was about to toss the book aside but sighed and carefully placed it down.
Books should be handled with care. No matter how angry one might feel, throwing them was unacceptable.
“Hah.”
Serena clutched her head, her mind a tangled mess.
The book’s key points were simple:
1. All Awakened individuals, without exception, can use magic.
2. However, those with unclear memories of their awakening may struggle with using magic.
3. If such an individual wants to improve, they must recover and strengthen their awakening memories.
4. Unfortunately, the only way to retrieve these memories is to pray for a miracle. Otherwise, give up.
“Is this what you call a solution?”
Serena groaned, running her hands through her hair in frustration. All the book confirmed was that her inability to use magic stemmed from her lack of awakening memories.
‘I need to recover my memories…’
Her mind grew more chaotic. Reflecting deeply on a past she didn’t remember wouldn’t suddenly bring it back.
She recalled a strange dream she had recently. At the time, she had dismissed it as nonsensical, but upon reflection, certain unsettling details stood out.
Serena tried to recall the hazy fragments of the dream.
A boy she had never seen before. A woman clad in white armor leading knights. A burning space filled with the mingling stench of charred wood and thick, metallic blood.
Unfortunately, the boy’s face remained obscured, as if shrouded in mist. She had tried recalling it several times since but failed every time.
They say dreams are fragments of the subconscious. Though she initially dismissed it as absurd, the dream’s peculiarities left her uneasy. Serena began to wonder if it might be connected to her awakening memories.
It could just be a wild imagination, but ignoring it didn’t sit right with her personality. After much contemplation, she stood up abruptly with a determined look.
‘I need to stop overthinking and just ask Aunt Elda.’
When she was younger, Serena spent more time in the apothecary run by Genzo and Elda than in the baron’s castle. If anyone remembered her childhood, it would be Elda.
If that dream wasn’t just nonsense but a fragment of her lost memory, Elda might know something.
‘Besides, the symbol engraved on that white armor feels strangely familiar.’
Yet, despite the familiarity, she couldn’t pinpoint a specific family or origin.
‘For now, I’ll take it slow. First, I need permission to go out!’
Having made up her mind, Serena headed to Azaid’s study to request permission.
***
Azaid stared blankly out the window, saying nothing. His unusually loose attire swayed gently in the breeze, exuding a precarious air.
His golden hair fluttered wildly, yet he seemed too preoccupied to bother tidying it.
Though he appeared lost in thought, his cold aura warned that any disturbance might provoke a sharp reaction.
It was widely known that the emperor’s mood grew turbulent around this time of year. Soon, it would be the anniversary of Mydia’s passing—his mother.
Mydia, the late empress, had died under mysterious circumstances just as Azaid ascended the throne.
Her untimely death during a moment of glory was a profound wound Azaid struggled to confront.
For him, his mother was like a stone cast into a calm river—a force that could stir and unsettle his heart at any time.
Though aware this was a vulnerability, he couldn’t easily conceal it.
His near-rampage following her death had laid bare his emotions, marking him with a weakness he couldn’t erase.
‘I thought he’d gotten better…’
Leonard sighed quietly as he observed Azaid’s somber demeanor.
Since Serena had entered the palace, Azaid seemed brighter. Leonard had hoped this year might pass without incident, but it seemed his optimism had been misplaced.
“Your Majesty.”
“……”
Azaid didn’t answer and simply stared blankly at a fixed point. Leonard, attempting to draw his attention, brought up a topic he thought might provoke a response.
“Will you go there again this year?”
“I suppose I must.”
“You could stop now. Lady Mydia wouldn’t want to see Your Majesty so disheartened any longer.”
“Well, if it were my mother, she’d understand my feelings.”
Azaid pulled his gaze away from the window and murmured bitterly.
“She’d know her son wouldn’t be able to endure the guilt otherwise.”
“That was merely an accident.”
“Do you truly think so, Leonard?”
“……”
“My mother seemed to know exactly what would happen that day. Thinking back, it’s strange—her hands trembled unusually when she stroked me that day.”
Azaid rubbed his face as if recalling the night before his mother’s death.
The imperial palace, up until the day before, had been peaceful, showing no signs of the impending tragedy. Especially the annex where Azaid and Mydia resided remained as quiet as usual.
No one had foreseen that Azaid would become Emperor the following day. Thus, the servants of the annex treated the mother and son with indifference, as if they were fallen leaves on the ground.
That evening, a gentle rain began to fall. Mydia prayed late into the night, gazing out the window, offering her pleas to Pherianus, the god of fate. When Azaid entered her chambers, she spoke as if leaving him with a parting request.
“Azaid, no matter what happens from now on, you must stay strong. Even if I’m no longer here.”
“Why do you say such things, Mother? Are you going somewhere?”
His mother quietly stroked Azaid’s hair and muttered something incomprehensible.
“I only wish for your happiness. When the time comes, you’ll understand His will.”
“Are you worried again about something related to that god of yours?”
“Yes. The only one who troubles me is Lord Pherianus. So, Azaid, grieve briefly, but embrace happiness for as long as you can. Especially when it comes, welcome it with all your heart.”
Mydia was a devoted follower of Pherianus. True to his nature as a god of fate, it seemed he had forewarned her about something long ago.
As it was an unspoken rule that one couldn’t utter prophecies aloud, Azaid had never asked her about it.
‘I should’ve asked at least once.’
Had he known he’d never have the chance to ask his mother anything again after that night, he wouldn’t have ended their conversation so simply.
“Even if Lady Mydia foresaw her approaching death, she couldn’t have gone against the prophecy bound by divinity. That’s why she kept it hidden. The accident was the will of the god, not Your Majesty’s carelessness.”
“The will of the god, you say.”
Leonard’s words brought no solace to Azaid. Instead, he felt a forbidden resentment rise within him—if that were the case, why reveal such a tragic future to his mother at all?
Every year on Mydia’s death anniversary, Azaid spent the day alone in silence at Pherianus’s temple. He did so because he was reminded of his mother’s words about understanding the god’s will someday.
Everyone knew not to disturb the Emperor on that day. Even Leonard, his closest confidant, was no exception.
“I wonder. What exactly did the god prophesy to my mother?”
“……”
“How much devotion must I show for Him to tell me as well?”
Azaid muttered cynically, shifting his gaze back to the window. Leonard sighed deeply and left the study, convinced it was best to leave him alone for now.
***
Serena was just about to enter the study when she suddenly came face-to-face with Leonard.
“Oh, Lady Serena.”
Leonard approached her with a welcoming expression that seemed more pronounced than usual.
“Hello, Sir Leonard.”
“Have you come to see His Majesty?”
“Yes, I need to seek his permission for something.”
As Serena replied candidly, Leonard hesitated briefly, as though about to speak. Finding it odd, she asked,
“Sir Leonard, do you have something you wish to say to me?”
• ❁ • ❁ • ❁ •By Esraa• ❁ • ❁ • ❁ •
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