IMLTVS Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 

 

“Hah…”

I placed a hand on my forehead and lowered my head. Disgust filled me. I had been too harsh on an innocent child.

But what was worse was that even that realization felt empty, echoing inside me before fading away.

“I feel… strange.”

It was as if my heart was completely hollow.

I tried sitting still, letting time pass. But the longer I stayed like that, the worse I felt. If my heart was truly empty, it should have felt peaceful. But it didn’t.

“Why am I like this? Why…?”

I felt unbearably anxious. It was just like before—whether I sat or stood, I couldn’t escape the discomfort. My heart pounded nonstop.

Should I go see my mother? Or my father?

I stood up from my seat, but then I realiJed something. If I went to them, I would have to explain.

Explain why I had sunk this low. Explain why I was so shaken.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I sank back down, closing my eyes and covering my face with both hands.

There was no one I could explain this pain to.

No one knew about that time. No one knew about my lost child.

Maybe it would have been better if I had taken the potion of forgetfulness when I returned.

Then I paused, my face blank, and thought:

 “No, that wouldn’t have worked. If I had forgotten, I would have made the same mistakes all over again.”

In the end, I did what had always worked best.

I picked up my embroidery hoop and began stitching, one careful thread at a time.

But for some reason, the needle kept pricking my fingers. Maybe my eyes aren’t focusing properly. My vision kept blurring.

Each time the needle stabbed my fingertip, I stopped for a moment before continuing. Again, and again.

“…Ah.”

This time, the needle had pierced me deeply.

I snapped back to awareness.

When I looked down, my embroidery fabric was covered in tiny spots of blood.

Something about it was funny. It wasn’t truly amusing, and yet a small, bitter laugh escaped my lips.

“What am I even doing right now? Holding onto this little embroidery hoop like it’s my lifeline. As if this thread and needle could save me.”

I stared at the hoop for a moment—then, unable to hold it in, I threw it onto the floor.

I lowered my head, my thoughts swirling.

“In an instant, everything… collapsed.

All those years of effort.

The balance I fought so hard to maintain in my heart.

The dreams of happiness I had tried to hold onto.

I had no idea I was this weak.”

I had no idea I was this stubborn.

I had no idea how much I loved my child.

I realiJed it the moment I saw my own dark, ugly desire—that Bern must never be a good father to another child.

It had only been a short time.

I had only been with my child for a moment.

But I still thought of that child as mine.

I had loved them before I even realiJed I was capable of loving them.

Would it have been better if I had never known?

I tried to turn my thoughts away, but my mind kept circling back to Bern and Raina’s happiness.

I had believed he would ruin himself without my interference.

He was too greedy, unwilling to let go of his family name or the woman he loved.

I thought he would never change, and I had found comfort in that belief.

But then—just because of my words—he changed.

“If he was capable of changing, then why didn’t he do it from the start?

Why did he leave me like this, so broken?

Why did he only choose to change now, after he had already ruined me?”

It was too late.

Even if he changed now, it meant nothing.

If he had just lived his miserable life and died that way, at least I could have kept despising him.

Rage burned inside me.

In this state, I couldn’t enjoy anything.

Everything felt like sand slipping through my fingers—empty and meaningless.

No matter how hard I tried to live a good life, in the end, it was all useless.

I had never truly left that house.

That house—Bern’s mansion.

I had never truly escaped it.

And now, he and Raina were leaving me behind.

The night stretched on endlessly.

When Jed met Bern’s former fiancée, Carmilla, at the art gallery, he had several plans in mind.

Should he tempt her with an offer? Should he stir up her jealousy?

He wasn’t sure yet.

But he did know one thing:

People who let their emotions control them are easy to manipulate.

However, there was an exception to that rule—those whose emotions had completely consumed them, to the point of madness.

Such people had no brakes.

And when Carmilla’s body began to tremble like a shaking leaf—when her pale, cold hands gripped her face, and tears streamed down, dripping onto the floor—Jed saw it.

A person who was already broken.

“How can they be so selfish…?”

Her voice, cold and trembling, was thick with resentment and hatred.

Jed immediately knew—this was a mistake.

This was the wrong person to provoke.

“I can’t forgive them. I can’t forget.

I won’t let them be happy after what they did.”

Her empty, tear-filled eyes were terrifying.

A person with eyes like that wouldn’t just be used and discarded.

Now that she had seen the truth, she would destroy Bern’s life no matter what.

Jed felt a chill of realization.

This had gone completely wrong.

His original plan was simple.

He had wanted to use Bern’s guilt to force him into responsibility, locking him in place, while throwing Raina into the fire.

That should have been enough.

But Carmilla…

She wasn’t just hurt. She was drowning in hatred.

Jed could sense it in his bones. She was going to do something drastic.

Normally, he would have stepped back, letting things unfold from a safe distance.

But the problem was Bern.

That stubborn fool had stirred up a hornet’s nest.

If Jed withdrew now, Bern would be destroyed beyond repair.

Killing Carmilla wasn’t an option either—messing with Armen’s precious daughter could cause all sorts of trouble.

That left only one choice.

He had to stay close to Carmilla.

If he couldn’t use her or eliminate her, then he had to control her.

Jed sighed internally and then smiled brightly, extending his hand.

He had no other choice.

Every plan seemed perfect until the moment an unpredictable variable shattered everything.

And Jed’s unexpected variable… was just how deep Carmilla’s hatred truly ran.

No one could have predicted its full extent.

Not even her.