IMLTVS Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 

 

Why is he always wandering around the path in front of my cottage? 

My house is at the very end, so unless someone has business with me, they wouldn’t normally come here.

Yet, like an excited puppy, he comes running with a bright face. 

His blue eyes sparkle like the surface of the sea. It’s almost harder to ignore him than to acknowledge him.

Or maybe I don’t even want to ignore him?

Whenever I take a walk with Parin, who has grown closer to me, he often asks if he can join us, saying he wants to watch over his younger sister. 

Then, he quietly listens to our conversation, occasionally jumping in with talk about swordsmanship—only to get scolded.

“…So, the balance of the sword is very important, and I think—”

“Brother! Go talk about that with your friends!”

At that, he would always look dejected.

Honestly, I was thankful to Parin. 

I had nothing to say about swordsmanship, and if I had to cut him off myself, he would have been even more hurt.

“-I picked this flower because it was beautiful. Will you accept it?”

Every day, he brings me a flower and asks the same question as if it’s the first time.

It’s both amusing and new each time.

When I take the flower, thank him, and smile, he stares blankly for a moment before smiling so brightly that even I feel happy.

His whole face lights up. Anyone could see he was in love.

Normally, I would have firmly drawn a boundary. But because Parin was involved and because he felt like an overly enthusiastic younger brother, I couldn’t bring myself to.

When I saw how he reacted to my every little movement—smiling when I smiled, looking down when I was silent—it reminded me of the past.

I, too, had once spent my days deciphering someone’s words and actions, falling from heaven to despair in a single moment.

I worried that my vague acceptance was cruelly giving him hope.

But this was Hansen, the far edge of the empire. Realistically, we would never meet again. This was just a fleeting moment, an encounter that would pass.

Yet, despite that, he openly and wholeheartedly showed his feelings, without calculation or hesitation.

Was he simply naive? Or was he someone who just lived in the moment?

He was endearing, but that didn’t change the reality of our differences. 

Nobles from the capital and nobles from the provinces were worlds apart.

As cruel and cold as it sounded, it was the truth. And I was a woman of House Armen.

Still, why did my mother say nothing? She knew he lingered around our home, yet she neither acknowledged nor questioned it.

Was she indifferent? Had she given up on me? Or was it something else—affection, perhaps?

Her eyes, when they looked at me, held warmth.

I only hoped he wouldn’t pour too much of himself into this, that he wouldn’t have to learn the hard way.

Because when I made a mistake in love, the price I paid was far too great.

Not everyone has to learn through pain.

Still, one day, I couldn’t hold back my curiosity any longer.

“The flowers are beautiful, so I wanted to give one to you. Will you accept it?”

Every day, he appears at the same time and place, holding a flower and asking the same question.

But this time, instead of taking the flower, I asked him a question of my own.

My expression must have been uncertain.

“Ian, do you like me?”

I expected him to flinch, to step back in surprise.

But instead, he grinned and nodded.

“Yes! I like you a lot! I think about you every day! Every time I see a beautiful flower, I think of you!”

His gaze was filled with overflowing sincerity.

Like. I like you! I like you!

His enthusiasm was so intense that it almost felt overwhelming.

Noticing my reaction, he quickly added, “Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to do anything. I just… I like expressing how I feel. 

And if it makes you happy, that’s even better. I just… like you.”

His words were so simple, so different from mine.

I was taken aback.

My love had always been selfish. The moment I fell in love, I only thought about how to make that person mine. I believed that once I had them, they would eventually surrender to me.

Had I ever truly considered their feelings?

Wasn’t I just as cruel?

Maybe that was my mistake from the very beginning. The first crack.

Maybe I had been ruthless first, which was why I had cruelty returned to me.

I still couldn’t forgive Bern. I wanted to kill him if I ever got the chance.

But aside from that, I suddenly felt like I was nothing but a shadow compared to Ian’s brightness.

I couldn’t bear to keep looking into those eyes.

Awkwardly cutting the conversation short, I excused myself and returned to the cottage.

My heart felt unsettled.

In the living room, my mother sat in her chair, eyes closed.

Without realizing it, I approached her and asked, “Mother, can I ask you something?”

She opened her eyes and looked at me calmly.

“Of course, Carmilla.”

I hesitated before speaking.

“…Do you think I’ve been selfish and self-centered?”

She thought for a moment before asking me in return, “What do you think? Have you been selfish?”

I was startled, mistaking her words for criticism. But when I looked at her, her expression was gentle and patient.

“…I think I have been selfish for my own sake.”

“It’s natural to look out for yourself. That’s not selfishness. But…” she spoke slowly, carefully choosing her words. “If your conscience tells you that you took more than your fair share, then maybe it is.”

And suddenly, I realized.

—I never thought of Raina as a person. She was just an obstacle, a nuisance to be brushed away.

And Bern’s feelings? I dismissed them, assuming they would fade away.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

“Mother… What if I believed I was the victim, but I was partially at fault?”

She pulled my hands into hers.

“You are still young. It’s natural to make mistakes and learn from them. As long as you take responsibility and don’t repeat them, that’s enough.”

Even if I couldn’t forgive, maybe I could at least find a reason to let things rest.

I held my mother’s hand and talked with her for a long time.

For the past few days, Parin had been watching her brother lose his mind in real time.

He smiled idiotically all day and examined flowers like a judge at a beauty contest, deciding which was the prettiest.

And whenever she passed by, the flowers he picked as “most beautiful” mysteriously disappeared.

She couldn’t take it anymore.

Disgusted, she kicked him.

But instead of getting mad, Ian hugged her and exclaimed, “It’s all thanks to you!”

“What does it feel like to get married?”

Parin felt a shiver run down her spine.

Her brother’s eyes were glossy with sugar-coated insanity.

It was nauseating.

“Ugh! Get away from me!”

She shook him off and crossed her arms.

“Wake up. She’s already married. That’s her fate.”

Ian, who had been humming happily, froze.

“…What?”

His eyes slowly turned toward her in shock.

Parin landed the final blow.

“You’re the other man. A homewrecker! Stop grinning—it’s gross!”

Ian stammered, trying to deny reality.

“…But she never mentioned a husband…”

“She doesn’t talk about him because he’s useless! You know those bruises on her arm and face when we first met? That was all him.”

Parin had convinced herself this was the truth.

And Ian… stopped dead.

“…Is that true?”

His voice dropped, quiet and serious.

Parin gulped, sensing danger.

“Uh… yeah! I asked her myself!”

Then, she bolted.

Ian, however, stood there, deep in thought, his expression dark.

The next day, Ian approached me with an uncharacteristically serious face.

“The flowers in the garden were so beautiful… I wanted to give one to you. Will you accept it?”

But this time, he hesitated.

“…?”

I waited for him to speak.

Then, suddenly—

“…Will you marry me?”

What?

I froze.

“I will take care of your husband. I promise to make you happy! If that man—if he’s hurting you—”

His golden retriever-like warmth had turned into fiery determination.

But the problem was…

“…Where did you hear that nonsense?”

As I spoke, Ian’s face paled.

His eyes shook.

Then, in the next moment, his face turned bright red with rage.

And I suddenly knew exactly where this ridiculous rumor had started.

Parin.

I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

“…Parin must have misunderstood. I had an accident with my fiancé, but we already broke off the engagement. My husband never abused me.”