Chapter 08
It was an unexpected suggestion.
I knew my mother often went away to hot springs in the countryside for rest, but I had never seen her recommend it to someone else.
“Rest…?” I asked, puzzled.
Then it hit me—ah, she just wants to send the source of all this chaos somewhere far away.
Mother disliked noise and disorder.
For someone like her, this situation was nothing short of a disaster.
I wasn’t offended.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I didn’t want people visiting me just to bring up the gossip anyway.
“Yes. I think it might be best for you to step away until things settle down. Where would you like me to go, Mother?”
She looked at me steadily before speaking slowly.
“If you don’t mind… why not go to the hot spring near the Albida mine? It’s quite a nice place.”
I was shocked.
Mother was a strict, cold, and private person. I had never seen her grow fond of people.
The few maids who stayed by her side for years weren’t there because she liked them, but because she trusted them.
For her to suggest doing something together—it was almost unheard of.
I opened my mouth to agree, but I was too stunned to speak. Only air escaped my lips. My voice had simply stopped working.
I had always thought she regarded me as less than a stranger. I had accepted that long ago. It wasn’t even painful anymore; it was just the way things were.
That was just the kind of person she was.
I had already given up on that part of my life.
But now, gifts—unexpected, precious gifts—kept coming my way.
Was this okay?
I was afraid. What if I was too happy? Would I be punished for it?
Sensing my hesitation, Mother spoke again.
“Your father wants to teach you about work, but I’d rather you rest first. The rest can come later.”
“…Can I do that?”
I looked at her uncertainly.
She pulled a chair closer to my bed and sat down, thinking for a moment.
I waited quietly.
Finally, she spoke, still searching for the right words.
“You were always too mature for your age. It made things easier for me. So maybe… I never really thought about it.”
Her gaze dropped, and something glistened at her chin before falling.
“I wanted to raise you to be responsible, but maybe all I did was force you to stand on your own.
When I realized that, my heart ached. It felt like I had sinned. Even now, looking at you, my heart hurts.”
Her voice was calm, as always.
But her chin kept trembling, and more drops of water fell.
“Maybe… the one who has been clinging to you like a child all this time was me.”
Her violet eyes met mine.
I had always thought of her eyes as cold.
Violet reminded me of death. A chilling color.
But now, blurred by tears, her eyes looked like lilacs in bloom—soft, warm, like spring.
“You’ve always been too good for me. I wish I had been a better mother to you. I’m so sorry.”
Her voice was thick with emotion.
“Can you forgive me?”
Tears welled up in my own eyes.
I wanted to sob, but it was as if I had forgotten how. No sound came out.
“And… would you allow me to finally be your mother?”
So I leaned into her and cried.
If only I had known sooner that I wasn’t alone.
I had been such a fool.
Mother wrapped her arms around me.
“My poor child… my poor, poor child…”
Her voice was melting, filled with a tenderness I had never heard before.
Ah, people keep making me smile, and then they make me cry.
Like endless waves, they keep washing over me, making me weaker.
But maybe… I wanted to be weak like this.
“I have always, always loved you, Mother. And I still do.”
I was the fool who had given up too soon.
I should have tried. I should have spoken up.
More tears came, choking me up.
The engagement, of course, was completely shattered.
The entire financial burden fell on the Demeter family.
The wedding between the Treasury Minister’s daughter and the Commander of the Imperial Guard’s son had been a grand affair, with over three thousand guests expected to attend.
Now, it was all ruined.
And that sent the head of the Demeter family into a rage.
Smack.
A sharp slap echoed through the study.
I had thought I could endure any hardship for Raina’s sake.
But facing it… was far worse than I had imagined.
Thud!
Another fist struck.
Bern flinched, and a furious voice rang out.
“Stand up straight, Bern!”
The Demeter family had always been a household of knights—strict, disciplined, and unyielding.
Kicks landed mercilessly on his legs, and if he bowed his head, a hand slapped his face.
The hands and feet of the Demeter family’s head were trained for battle—they did not hold back.
Bern’s face was bruised and swollen.
But the worst part wasn’t the pain.
It was this.
“I’m disappointed in you. I didn’t raise you like this. How could you raise a hand against a lady? You worthless fool!”
His father’s cold, disgusted eyes.
“…I’m sorry.”
Guilt crushed him.
Bern’s stiff reply made his father, Lyman, click his tongue in frustration.
“You should be apologizing to Lady Carmilla, not me.”
But at that, Bern remained silent.
A vein throbbed on Lyman’s forehead.
“You brainless idiot. I wasted my efforts raising you.”
His father’s icy gaze swept over him, filled with contempt.
“I begged the Treasury Minister, groveling to that snake of a man. Do you know how humiliating that was?”
His voice seethed with fury.
“I even asked if you could apologize in person, thinking it might smooth things over.”
But the answer had been a firm no.
Bern was never to set foot near the Armen estate again.
They didn’t even want an apology—just a formal settlement.
And honestly, Lyman understood why.
Even though Armen had already designated a nephew as his heir, he had always kept men away from his daughter.
She was his only child, and he treasured her deeply.
And Bern had struck her.
Her face.
It was no wonder Armen was furious.
“And yet, you still stand there like this? Like you did nothing wrong? Are you even human?”
“…I have no excuse.”
Bern muttered, his bruised face unreadable.
But still, he said nothing about making amends.
Nothing about fixing what he had done.
Lyman felt his chest burn with rage.
“You stubborn little—!”
His son. His failure.
His anger boiled over, and his face turned red with frustration.
He should never have allowed that maid’s wretched daughter to be raised alongside his son.
He thought Bern would cause manageable trouble.
But this?
No.
This was a disaster.
Lyman clenched his fists.
This was no longer a matter for a servant to handle.
He would take care of it himself.
As he stormed out, Bern was left behind, swallowed by the weight of his father’s disappointment.
It hurt more than the physical blows.
He understood the chaos he had caused.
But to explain himself… meant bringing up Raina.
He believed he had been justified. Raina had been hurt too.
But that didn’t matter.
He had crossed a line.
His father had never looked at him with such deep disappointment before.
And that…
That was what crushed him the most.
