At that moment, Seyard’s pupils dilated.
“Kisa…”
Kisa felt an inexplicable satisfaction watching him call her name in a daze.
Perhaps she was pleased by the fact that the typically calm man was showing emotional agitation because of her.
“What?”
A few seconds later, he spoke with his usual face but in a slightly more subdued voice than normal.
“Why are you saying such things?”
His hand caressed the side of Kisa’s hair.
Kisa stared up at the man sitting on the bed, determined not to miss even the slightest change in his expression.
“Because I like you, Seyard. Because I like you, I want you to stay by my side.”
Though she had never been in a proper relationship, Kisa was no fool and possessed at least a basic level of awareness.
She fully understood the meaning of the words she was uttering, and Seyard knew this as well.
“……”
“……”
A tense silence filled the room.
Just as Kisa’s lips began to dry with anxiety that couldn’t be diluted even by alcohol, Seyard spoke.
“You’re drunk, Kisa. Let’s talk about this again after the effects of the alcohol wear off.”
Seyard withdrew his hand from the side of Kisa’s hair and tried to stand up.
“Is it because we’re not married yet?”
Almost simultaneously, a desperate question burst from Kisa’s lips.
“I’m fine with it. We’re getting married soon anyway, and many others do it too.”
It wasn’t something to be openly discussed, but it was rare for engaged couples to strictly maintain premarital chastity, even when their wedding was approaching.
Even the conservative Count Vansfelt had allowed Kisa to stay at Duke Hillan’s mansion.
“So there’s no need to be considerate of me—”
“That’s not it.”
But Seyard shook his head.
“That doesn’t matter. The problem is that you’re not in your right mind right now.”
“Of course I’m drunk, but this is something I’ve been thinking about even before drinking.”
To be precise, it was also because it was difficult to say while sober that she had borrowed the power of alcohol.
“Right now, I’m perfectly capable of making rational judgments. Trust me, Seyard.”
“That may be true. But Kisa, I……”
He paused briefly before uttering his next words.
“I’d like you to want me when you’re in your most sound mind.”
Was it just her imagination? The reddish-brown eyes she faced seemed darker, causing Kisa to draw in a sharp breath.
How to put it—it felt as if she was witnessing a hidden side of him that couldn’t be seen during normal times.
There were times when Seyard felt like a completely different person, and this was one of those moments.
“Not because of something else, but out of your pure desire.”
Kisa barely managed to move her stiffened lips.
“This, this is my pure desire.”
There was no way it could be because of something else. She simply wished for Seyard Hillan.
But his eyes narrowed.
“Really?”
“…Pardon?”
Seyard remained silent for a moment before holding a faint smile on his lips. It was a somewhat bitter expression.
“From my perspective, Kisa seems like someone who’s being pursued by something right now.”
Being pursued? That couldn’t be. Even as she thought this, no words of refutation came from Kisa’s lips.
Returning to his usual kind and gentle fiancé face, Seyard patted Kisa’s shoulder as if to comfort her.
“I apologize if I’m mistaken. But I still want us to do something like this when we’re both sober and free of any particular worries. It doesn’t necessarily have to be after we hold the ceremony, but…”
Suddenly, Seyard’s face drew closer, and Kisa felt a ticklish sensation on her cheek.
After lightly kissing Kisa’s cheek, Seyard finally rose from the bed.
“At least right now, it seems like a time when Kisa should rest comfortably. Well then, I’ll take my leave.”
Just as Kisa reflexively tried to call his name, Lily’s voice was heard from outside the door.
“Your Grace, Miss. I’ve brought water for washing.”
Instead of answering, Seyard opened the door and greeted Kisa.
“Sweet dreams.”
Kisa couldn’t stop him.
After Seyard left, Kisa washed up with Lily’s help, changed into her nightgown, and got into bed.
After Lily withdrew, there was no longer any tension to be found in the room where Kisa remained alone.
“Seyard.”
In the silence, Kisa called out the name she couldn’t call earlier.
He had said she seemed like someone being pursued. The meaning of those words…
“Ah, this won’t do.”
Due to the alcohol and the overwhelming drowsiness, her thoughts could progress no further.
Kisa closed her eyes, unable to resist her eyelids that felt as heavy as a thousand pounds.
Her consciousness was quickly dyed in darkness.
How much time had passed?
Her eyes flew open with a terrible thirst.
“Water.”
With no time to pay attention to the unfamiliar surroundings, Kisa instinctively sought water.
When she discovered the water bottle and glass on the nightstand, it felt like finding a treasure chest.
After quenching her thirst as much as she wanted, the current situation finally registered.
“Right. I got drunk and…”
Kisa’s entire body began to tremble as memories rose in succession.
“I was crazy! Crazy!”
She beat the innocent pillow repeatedly as shame welled up.
“How could I do such a thing to Seyard…”
Using the power of alcohol, she had made a clumsy attempt at seduction and was gently but firmly rejected.
Now that she thought about it with a sober mind, his rejection was completely understandable, which made it even more embarrassing.
[From my perspective, Kisa seems like someone who’s being pursued by something right now.]
That was correct. Although there was not a shred of falsehood in Kisa’s feelings toward Seyard, it wasn’t purely out of hope to be with the person she loved that she had acted so boldly.
…Kisa had hoped that he would wash away her anxiety with more definitive action.
She had tried to forget this unsettling feeling, which couldn’t be completely erased even with alcohol, through intimacy with him.
‘Most likely, Seyard intuitively sensed my underlying intentions and stopped me.’
She dropped her head weakly.
Looking back now, it had been a selfish action.
If one were to consider it, wasn’t she trying to use him for her own personal circumstances?
She couldn’t forget Seyard’s slightly bitter expression that she had seen at the end.
Resolving to formally apologize the next time they met, Kisa lay back down and closed her eyes.
However, the drowsiness that had once retreated did not return easily.
Her stomach churned from the hangover and she had a mild headache, but the feeling of being stifled was greater.
She wanted to organize her thoughts at this point.
She couldn’t make Seyard wear such an expression again with her insensitive words and actions.
‘Looking at the dim scenery outside the window, it seems like dawn…’
After pondering for a moment, Kisa got up, thinking of getting some fresh air.
She put on a thin coat that had been prepared beforehand on the coat rack and left the room.
This, too, seemed to have been prepared by Lily along with the water—she was an exemplary servant as always.
Thud, thud. Kisa’s footsteps echoed in the quiet interior where everything seemed to be asleep.
Perhaps because it was still early, she didn’t encounter anyone as she walked through the corridor.
However, as Kisa was about to leave the corridor and reach the entrance, a certain room caught her eye.
“This room…”
It was a place she remembered thanks to Seyard’s tour of the mansion not long ago.
The painting storage room. The Hillan family stored paintings that weren’t hung in the corridors or other rooms here.
Of course, he had said that items valuable enough to be called treasures went to the vault, so only relatively less valuable ones were kept here.
Kisa stared at the door, falling into contemplation. To be honest, she wanted to take a look inside.
When she had briefly visited with Seyard before, she had glimpsed the interior and, like most noble families, portraits made up a large portion of the stored paintings.
In reality, calling in a painter to immortalize one’s appearance in a portrait was a privilege only for the wealthy.
“Seyard’s portrait might be here too.”
Since the portrait painted after he became the head of the family was in his office, which she admired whenever she visited, she was curious about his childhood portraits.
It would be reasonable to assume that he had left behind a portrait or two before departing for the monastery.
Unfortunately, she didn’t have the leisure to look around at the paintings during her previous visit.
At that time, the two of them had to circle the entire large mansion, so they moved briskly.
‘But now it’s different.’
When Kisa placed her hand on the doorknob, the door opened with surprising ease.
She had planned to give up and go straight to the garden if it was locked, but she was in luck.
Stepping inside, Kisa examined the paintings lined up on the wall one by one.
The first to catch her eye was a group of solemn portraits that were distinctively larger than the other paintings and appeared to have been painted with several times more effort.
These were the faces of the successive Dukes of Hillan.
Come to think of it, the portrait hanging in Seyard’s office was exactly this size.
It seemed to be a long-standing tradition of the Hillan family to leave behind portraits in this format upon ascending to the position of family head.
While it was grand, it wasn’t the painting she was looking for, so Kisa hurried past the group of portraits.
Or rather, she tried to. Until she reached one particular painting.
The portrait hanging at the very end. A very familiar appearance even to her.
Vischer Hillan, it was his painting.
Kisa stopped in her tracks involuntarily, and in her ears, a distant voice was heard.
[I am Vischer Hillan.]
It was the memory of when she had first exchanged names with Vischer Hillan.
