That day, after having dinner with Seyard and taking a light stroll in the garden, she returned to the Vansfelt mansion.
During those few hours, Kisa had opened and closed her lips meaninglessly dozens of times.
The news that Daniel had come looking for her earlier that day, even blocking her carriage, rose to her throat but retreated back down.
It hadn’t been like this when Daniel had impulsively visited the Count Vansfelt’s residence and first mentioned Seyard’s past.
After that incident, Kisa had told Seyard everything Daniel had said during their very next meeting.
Though she had some reservations, she believed Seyard deserved to know.
This time too, Kisa thought he should know that Daniel was investigating his background.
Even if it posed only a mosquito-like annoyance to him, it wouldn’t hurt for him to be aware in advance.
But contrary to that rational judgment, her mouth couldn’t even utter the first syllable of Daniel’s name.
The conversation they had right before Daniel left the carriage haunted her mind.
After receiving his suggestion to meet and talk with a monk, Kisa asked in surprise:
[You! You even bothered the monks? Even if you couldn’t get the answers you wanted from the people of Bonzmos, to disturb those who are in spiritual practice…]
[I only asked one person I happened to meet. It wasn’t easy to approach them. They’re quite wary.]
[Then how am I supposed to ask?]
[You’re different from me. You’re none other than the fiancée of Duke Hillan. It’s not just Bonzmos that he’s poured vast donations into. That monastery too. Moreover, unlike me who appears suspicious, it wouldn’t be strange at all for you to ask about Duke Hillan. It’s perfectly natural to be concerned about the reputation of the man you’re going to marry, isn’t it?]
Kisa fell silent.
[Kisa, don’t you think you should hear from those who have spent the most time with him? He might not reveal his true nature in the villages he occasionally visits, but at the monastery where he always stays, he probably lived showing his true self.]
[…]
[You say I’m obsessing over this out of pride, and yes, perhaps what you’re saying is true. But one thing is certain.]
His tone was truly confident.
[Seyard Hillan definitely has something fishy about him. So investigating him will be saving you. You shouldn’t marry him.]
After declaring this, Daniel opened the carriage door and went outside.
Left alone, Kisa had to ponder over his words during the carriage ride to Duke Hillan’s mansion.
She wanted to dismiss it as nonsense, but somehow she couldn’t.
Because of this, she couldn’t fully concentrate on her dinner and walk with Seyard after arriving at her destination.
She couldn’t understand why.
“…”
No, actually she did know.
Late at night, sitting at her desk for a long time unable to sleep, Kisa finally acknowledged her honest feelings.
She already knew. The reason she couldn’t dismiss Daniel’s words as nonsense, and why she chose to listen to Daniel who had climbed into her carriage uninvited instead of chasing him away.
It was because of the suspicion toward Seyard that had taken root in a corner of Kisa’s heart.
This suspicion, which had grown considerably compared to Daniel’s previous visit, prevented Kisa from being completely honest with Seyard.
But she was confused because this didn’t mean she distrusted Seyard.
If she had distrusted him, she wouldn’t have visited Duke Hillan’s mansion today nor spent time with him.
Yet she felt uncomfortable with the fact that when asked if she completely trusted him, she couldn’t answer confidently.
Over his gentle face, which had told her he couldn’t wake the sleeping Kisa, other faces overlapped.
Him, who revealed he had gifted her a bracelet because it was a jewelry Kisa disliked.
Him, who asked why he should save Gabriel who was being assaulted by Princess Arta.
Him, who showed an expression she had never seen before when the princess mentioned his dead brother.
All those versions of Seyard gave off a feeling that was different from the one she had known, arousing a subtle fear in Kisa’s heart.
Moreover, the words that Princess had left for Kisa after forcibly visiting the Duke’s mansion to find Gabriel:
[Be careful of your fiancé. He might be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or perhaps something even worse.]
[And what else is there? Oh, that it was a coincidence that he recruited him? Let me ask just one thing. Was it Kisa’s own will to attend the Darion Duchy’s concert? Did someone suggest it to her first?]
[Anyone who cares to look can find out that your hobby is playing the violin. How likely is it that someone like you wouldn’t appreciate the performance of Gabriel, who has such natural talent?]
To be honest, Kisa still thought this was the princess’s far-fetched speculation.
It didn’t seem likely that Seyard would go to such lengths to take revenge on the princess for her.
Yet, strangely, those words persistently remained in Kisa’s mind, fueling her doubts.
As the princess said, Seyard was the one who first invited Kisa to attend the concert at Darion Duchy.
And while it was true that Kisa had taken note of Gabriel’s performance, she hadn’t asked Seyard to invite him to their engagement ceremony.
She had simply been touched when she later learned that Seyard had recruited him, assuming he had done it for her.
She wanted to trust Seyard. She trusted him about seventy percent. But these few facts had planted a thirty percent “what if?” in her mind.
“Seyard…”
Kisa’s benevolent benefactor, currently the only person she could call a friend, a companion with whom she had agreed to walk the same path for at least the next two years.
At the same time, a man who seemed to be hiding something from her.
Sigh, thinking about him made her chest tighten, and Kisa let out a deep breath.
Of course, this didn’t solve her worries, so her frustration only increased.
In the quiet surroundings, Kisa quietly mumbled to herself.
“It’s only natural to have secrets.”
Everyone has their own secrets.
Even Kisa, who was relatively frank about her feelings with Seyard, had several things she chose not to mention.
That wasn’t particularly bad behavior.
Therefore, even if suspicions arose about Seyard, even if there were points that didn’t make sense, simply leaving them alone might be the polite and wise choice.
Even between real lovers or spouses, secrets existed. Kisa and Seyard were a fake couple bound by contract.
It might be absurd to dig into something hidden from the other.
Besides, strictly speaking, none of the suspicions about Seyard so far suggested the possibility that he could be a terrible villain as Daniel’s delusion suggested.
If that was the case, it might be best to put aside unnecessary suspicions and quietly continue their current friendly relationship.
In any case, as long as he wasn’t a serious criminal, Kisa couldn’t hastily break up with him.
Count Vansfelt wouldn’t allow a second broken engagement, and even if he did, Kisa would likely end up paired with Daniel again.
Considering all these circumstances, it would be the right choice to put aside needless thoughts and leave Seyard’s secrets as secrets.
“But…”
Strangely, Kisa couldn’t come to such a simple conclusion.
In her heart, there existed a hope to completely trust Seyard and a curiosity to know what his secrets were.
Both stemmed from a desire for a more genuine relationship with Seyard than what they currently had.
‘What should I really do?’
The night of contemplation deepened.
Kisa’s worry was not a matter of just a day or two.
Only after secretly agonizing for more than a week did she reach a conclusion.
And now, to fasten the first button of her plan, she was at Duke Hillan’s mansion.
“By the way, I have something to tell you.”
“Yes, please go ahead.”
Sitting across from Seyard at the table, visiting the Duke’s mansion as usual, Kisa tried to appear as natural as possible as she spoke.
“How about we visit St. Pavela Monastery together sometime soon?”
Feeling Seyard’s gaze, she forced a bright smile.
“I’ve been curious about what kind of place it is, and I’d like to visit before we get busy with wedding preparations.”
This was the conclusion Kisa had finally reached.
She did want to meet the people who had spent the most time with Seyard. But she didn’t want to meet them behind his back.
The remaining option was to visit the place with Seyard.
“Moreover, I found out that St. Pavela Monastery is open to the public only for a few days each year, and that happens to be in a few days. I wondered when we’d have such an opportunity again, so I wanted to mention it.”
There was no change in Seyard’s expression. Yet strangely, Kisa’s heart was pounding.
“What do you think, Seyard? Could we go together?”
In response to that cautious question, Seyard was silent for a moment, seemingly considering.
Exactly how long it was, she didn’t know, but to Kisa, it felt like an endless amount of time.
After a while, with a faint smile, he answered.
“I think that would be difficult, Kisa.”
