Kisa lowered her fork, which she had raised to pick up a piece of meat, and swallowed dryly.
She was anxious, fearing that Gabriel might say he was giving up on studying abroad.
In fact, the day after the engagement ceremony, Kisa, worried about his condition, had summoned Gabriel to the banquet hall with Seyard’s cooperation.
Her excuse was that she wanted to hear his violin performance and receive advice and lessons.
[Oh, this? I fell down yesterday.]
How does one get like that from falling?
Looking at him making excuses while covering his swollen, red cheek, Kisa swallowed such a question.
After spending time thinking about it the previous day, she had reached the same conclusion as Seyard.
This was an obstacle Gabriel had to overcome on his own, not something for Kisa, a third party who wasn’t even close to him, to interfere with.
Instead, Kisa called Gabriel out a few more times to check on his condition.
On the day of the engagement ceremony, though she didn’t know how his conversation with the Princess had ended, he clearly looked more depressed than before.
In contrast to Kisa’s rapidly improving violin skills under the guidance of an excellent performer, his face grew more troubled with each passing day.
At this rate, she thought he might really give up on studying abroad and return to the Princess. It was then that Gabriel suddenly brought up this meaningful introduction.
“Please speak, Gabriel.”
Unlike the tense Kisa, Seyard responded in his usual tone.
“It’s nothing special, I just wanted to thank you both.”
Gabriel said, scratching his cheek where faint traces of violence remained.
“I realized I haven’t properly thanked you since the engagement ceremony. I truly appreciate it. Thanks to the great reception my performance received that day, more people have been seeking me out.”
So it was just a greeting. Kisa secretly sighed in relief and responded awkwardly.
“Oh, I didn’t do much. Seyard was the one who recruited you.”
Seyard slowly shook his head.
“The reason I decided to recruit him was because of you, Kisa, so that’s not true.”
Looking at us, Gabriel murmured in a somewhat sad tone.
“You two make a wonderful couple.”
Somehow knowing who he was thinking of, both Kisa and Seyard remained silent as Gabriel continued.
“I feel a bit awkward bringing this up when I’ve only been receiving help, but I have something important to discuss about studying in Octava, Your Grace.”
When Seyard nodded slightly as if telling him to speak, Gabriel began.
It was quite an unexpected story.
The day before Gabriel was set to leave, Kisa happened to meet him in the garden of the Hillan mansion.
He was staring at the distant sky, standing in the drizzling rain without an umbrella.
For a moment, Kisa thought about giving him an umbrella but decided against it.
Surely the Hillan duchy would have umbrellas for guests, and he could easily ask any passing servant to bring him one.
The fact that he wasn’t doing so must mean he was in the mood to feel the rain today.
After briefly considering whether to leave him alone with his thoughts, Kisa spoke.
“Gabriel.”
He was scheduled to leave early the next morning.
Although they had already said their goodbyes yesterday, she wanted to talk to him once more before he left.
“Ah, Lady Vansfelt.”
When Gabriel noticed Kisa’s presence and looked around, she quickly responded.
“If you’re looking for Seyard, he’s busy with work, so I’m taking a walk alone today.”
Kisa had been visiting the Hillan mansion nearly every day recently, and usually walked in the garden with Seyard.
However, he was inherently a busy person, and today he seemed particularly occupied with estate matters, too busy even for a walk.
“I see,” he answered, then after looking around the garden, spoke again.
“It’s sad to think I might never see this beautiful garden again.”
“Why wouldn’t you? You can come back and see it later. Though it might be quite far in the future.”
“…I wonder if that will be possible.”
“Please do come. It doesn’t have to be after studying in Octava. Come back anytime once your health improves.”
“Thank you for saying so.”
At their dinner together, Gabriel had brought up a different matter—his desire to recover rather than study abroad.
“My health hasn’t been good lately. I think recovering somewhere quiet should be my priority, so I’m afraid I must decline the opportunity to study abroad. Even though you’ve been so kind to help, and with the departure date so close… I’m truly sorry.”
When Kisa first heard this, she thought the recovery was just an excuse.
Indeed, Gabriel’s face had been pale and haggard these past few days, giving him the appearance of someone ill.
But Kisa knew well that the cause was not physical but emotional.
So she thought the recovery was just a pretext to decline Seyard’s support, believing that he had changed his mind and decided to return to the Princess.
But Gabriel’s story didn’t end there.
“I know this is extremely presumptuous… but may I ask for one favor? You’re the only one I can turn to with this request, Duke Hillan.”
When Seyard said it was fine and told him to speak, Gabriel explained his request with an earnest expression.
“Could you arrange a discreet ship passage to my recovery destination? Using regular transportation would likely draw attention. Not to boast, but many people have come to recognize my face lately…”
Gabriel’s reason was that he wanted to recover quietly in a distant place where no one knew him, but couldn’t manage it on his own.
Kisa instinctively understood. Ah, he’s trying to escape from Princess Arta.
This would have been impossible in Octava, his intended study destination.
Octava shared a border with the Kingdom of Sorbi, making it a place the Princess could reach in one step if she wanted.
But if he were to travel to a place several days away by ship, it would be difficult for the Princess to drop everything and follow him.
Moreover, if Seyard provided Gabriel with transportation under the Hillan family’s influence, the Princess would find it hard even to track her lover’s whereabouts.
In other words, Gabriel was trying to completely eliminate any possibility of the Princess reaching him.
It was truly paradoxical.
His decision revealed both a desperate determination to escape the Princess, even at the cost of his studies, and a foolish love he still couldn’t abandon.
“…….”
Kisa took in Gabriel’s lonely profile as he silently stared at the ground.
In truth, if he set his mind to it, he could have lived safely in Octava.
No matter how powerful the Princess was, forcibly bringing someone back from another country like Octava would not be easy.
Furthermore, if an influential person from Octava sponsored Gabriel through Seyard’s introduction and looked after his general welfare, it would be even harder for the Princess to act.
Due to the poor relations between the two countries, any such attempt could escalate into a diplomatic issue.
So why would Gabriel choose to go to a distant place citing his not-so-bad health instead of going to Octava as he so desired?
The answer was obvious with a little thought.
He didn’t have confidence—confidence to reject the Princess if she came all the way to a foreign country and appealed to their love.
Thus, his solution was to flee to a place she couldn’t reach at all.
Some might criticize his decision to run away without choosing either his dream or love, but Kisa couldn’t.
In her eyes, Gabriel was struggling in his own way to resist oppression and constraint.
‘How deep must his love be?’
Kisa, who had relatively quickly erased Daniel from her heart despite over a decade of unrequited love, couldn’t even begin to measure it.
Moreover, the tyranny Daniel had inflicted on Kisa was like child’s play compared to what the Princess had done to Gabriel.
“My lady.”
At that moment, the man who would flee from love tomorrow addressed Kisa.
“You once asked what kind of person Duke Hillan is. You said you were worried about various things before your engagement.”
“Ah, yes. I did.”
“I think I answered without much deep thought at the time, so I’ve been thinking about it more since then.”
“I see.”
That question was just Kisa trying to understand his feelings, mistakenly thinking Gabriel liked Seyard.
But he seemed to have taken it seriously, making her feel guilty.
“Indeed, Duke Hillan is a good person. He not only granted my unreasonable request but also didn’t withdraw his offer of support, saying I could study abroad after my recovery—it’s too generous.”
But, his tone changed slightly.
“However, no matter how good a person is, spending many years together will likely lead to differences in opinion or discord. If such a situation arises, the best solution is to resolve conflicts through conversation. But there’s one thing I want you to remember.”
Gabriel smiled faintly and met Kisa’s gaze.
“The most important thing is yourself.”
It was sincere advice.
“Never give up yourself for love.”
Unlike me.
Kisa felt as if she had heard the unspoken words.
