But the moment she looked again, he was unmistakably the person Kisa knew well.
Seyard. Always her gentle lover.
Kisa shook her head weakly and spoke.
“I was just a little startled because I didn’t know Seyard was there. When did you arrive?”
“Just now. I was about to go out for a walk in the garden when I noticed the door to this room was slightly open. I wondered, and here you are.”
Seyard approached Kisa closely and crossed his arms.
“I can’t believe you’re really here.”
Feeling somewhat embarrassed, Kisa scratched her cheek.
“I’m sorry for coming in without permission.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who told Kisa that she could enter anywhere in this mansion.”
Indeed, on the day he had shown her around this place, he had said something like that.
‘Except for just one room.’
Quickly redirecting her thoughts that were drifting in a strange direction, she explained her reason for being there as if making an excuse.
“Actually, I’m similar to you. I was on my way for a walk when this room suddenly caught my eye.”
“…Is it because of this painting?”
Seyard turned to look at his brother’s portrait that Kisa had been admiring until just moments ago, with a somewhat ambiguous expression.
Kisa hurriedly waved her hands.
“No. Originally I came in wondering if there might be childhood portraits of Seyard, but when I saw this painting, I suddenly remembered something. I was just reflecting on past events.”
“Past events? What kind?”
“Well, it’s something that happened two or three years ago.”
Since it wasn’t particularly something to hide, Kisa told Seyard about the time she encountered Vischer Hillan at Princess Arta’s party.
Of course, in front of his family member, she didn’t mention how she disliked Vischer from the beginning or her suspicion that he had deliberately spilled wine on her dress.
Kisa tried to stick to objective facts until the end of her story.
“I see.”
After hearing Kisa’s words, Seyard drooped his eyebrows as if embarrassed.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea Vischer committed such rudeness toward you.”
“Oh no, it wasn’t rudeness. Nothing like that.”
“But Kisa’s cherished dress—”
“I felt that way then, but thinking about it now, I think it worked out for the best. After all, that dress was a gift from Daniel, that guy.”
Looking back, it was truly so.
If Vischer hadn’t ruined her dress that day, Kisa would have most likely worn it to various important events.
‘Just imagining it makes me cringe.’
Reflecting that it was actually fortunate that she could only wear it once, she continued.
“Also, because I ended up going home early that day, I was able to take medicine and rest well.”
In a way, Kisa’s wish to go home even before the party started had come true.
“So the Duke’s mistake actually helped me in many ways.”
She had originally said this so that Seyard wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but Kisa increasingly found herself being convinced by her own words.
‘Oh, that’s really true when I think about it.’
How should she put it? At the time, it had been such a humiliating and unjust incident that she had sealed it deep in her heart like something that could appear in nightmares, but now that she’d brought it out, it wasn’t as bad as she had thought.
Vischer Hillan. Kisa looked again at the man in the portrait.
Even facing that person she had feared and avoided, she no longer felt particularly negative emotions.
No, because he looked identical to Seyard, she even felt somewhat favorably toward him.
She hadn’t recognized it well then, but looking again, Vischer was also quite handsome.
‘How fickle the human heart is.’
When she first heard the news of his death, she had only felt vague sympathy along with uneasiness, but now she genuinely felt sorry for him.
Despite having everything and being in a position others looked up to, he had left this world in an unfortunate fire accident in an instant.
At the same time, Kisa felt strange thinking that if Vischer hadn’t died, Seyard would have stayed in the monastery for his entire life and never would have met her.
Feeling a strange guilt, Kisa wanted to learn more about the person called Vischer Hillan.
So she decided to start by asking about the most noticeable thing.
“Did your brother have poor eyesight?”
“What? Why do you ask…?”
“Just curious. Seyard has good eyesight, so I wondered if this differs even between twin brothers.”
Maintaining eye contact with Kisa, Seyard remained silent for a moment as if recalling a memory.
“Well, I don’t think so. The last time I saw him, he was reading books just fine without glasses.”
“Oh? Then why did he choose to wear glasses?”
“I think he wanted to look older. Having become the head of the family at a relatively young age, he probably didn’t want to be looked down upon by others.”
“That does make sense.”
As expected. Kisa just hadn’t known that Vischer Hillan was also an ordinary person with human concerns.
“By the way, when was that? The last time Seyard saw his brother?”
She asked out of curiosity since it sounded like something that had happened relatively recently, and her guess was correct.
“Calculating back, it was about six months before Vischer died. While organizing the warehouse, he found some items I had used in my childhood and called me to a villa near Bonzmos to give them to me.”
This was the first time Kisa had heard this story.
“Well, that was the ostensible reason, but it was probably to see directly how I was doing. Vischer was thorough by nature. Too thorough to be satisfied with just hearing reports from his subordinates.”
“…I see that happened.”
Seeing Kisa’s expression darken, Seyard said something jokingly as if to comfort her.
“It’s alright. It wasn’t all bad. When we met, I asked him to increase the monthly allowance he sent me for living expenses, and he agreed without much protest. Thanks to that, I lived quite comfortably for a while.”
“Really?”
He gently embraced Kisa’s waist with both arms as she smiled slightly.
“More importantly, Kisa. Why are you suddenly curious about Vischer? Even if he is my brother, showing interest in another man in front of your lover is really too much. I’m jealous.”
Despite his words, to Kisa’s eyes, Seyard seemed pleased deep down.
Surely, he was happy that Kisa’s interest extended even to his family.
She could understand because she had felt similarly when he had briefly asked about memories with the Countess Vansfelt.
“Oh, Seyard.”
Kisa pretended to give in and buried herself in his embrace.
The two stayed like that for a while before going around the room to look at other paintings.
Incidentally, Kisa was able to successfully achieve her original goal.
As she had hoped, there was indeed a painting of Seyard from his childhood.
Unfortunately, there was only one, and even that was a small family portrait, but still.
‘That’s too much, really. To be treated this way just because he was born as the younger of twins.’
Even while clicking her tongue like this, Kisa eagerly appreciated the painting anyway.
Seyard at four or five years old was several times cuter than Kisa had expected.
However, there was one small problem…
“Which one is Seyard?”
Since the brothers looked so alike even in childhood, Kisa had to ask him which of the two children was her lover when he was young.
However, even Seyard himself shook his head with a troubled expression.
“I don’t know either. I barely remember this time, and I only saw this painting recently when I returned to the monastery and looked around the mansion.”
“I… I see.”
It was laughable that she couldn’t tell which one was which, despite having her lover’s childhood image right in front of her.
With no other choice, Kisa stared intensely at both children as if to memorize them before leaving the room with the paintings.
Which one was the real Seyard?
The truth remained buried in darkness.
Coming out into the hallway and looking out the window, she could see the dawn light still coloring the world.
The two had woken up so early that it seemed like there were still about two hours left until the Hillan mansion would wake up and begin its full activities.
Suddenly, Kisa wanted to know why he had woken up at such an early hour.
She explained her own reason was due to a hangover, but what about Seyard?
Hearing her question, however, he smiled somewhat meaningfully.
“Do you really not know why, Kisa?”
“What? Is it something I should know?”
When Kisa cautiously asked, he tickled his lover’s cheek with his right hand.
“Actually, I didn’t wake up early, I couldn’t sleep at all.”
“What?”
Suddenly, Seyard’s voice dropped low.
“I dare say, there’s no man in the world who could calmly fall asleep after hearing a request from the woman he loves to spend the night together.”
Kisa momentarily lost her words.
“Ah… that….”
Yes, that had happened.
The memory of last night, which she had forgotten due to Vischer’s portrait, came back to life.
Embarrassed, Kisa didn’t know where to look and bowed her head deeply.
“But Seyard, you seemed fine back then…”
To her delicate protest, like a newly grown sprout, Seyard answered mischievously.
“I desperately pretended to be fine. You can’t even imagine how much I was holding back then.”
After saying this, the man suddenly intertwined his hand with Kisa’s.
At the unfamiliar sensation creeping between her fingers, Kisa had no choice but to raise her head and meet his eyes.
At dawn, silence descended on the empty corridor.
The one who broke the silence that subtly tightened her chest was Kisa.
“You don’t… have to hold back.”
She conveyed her will in a clear voice.
“No, don’t hold back.”
