Kisa glared at Melissa in response to that shameless question.
“Do you really not know why I’m angry?”
“Is it because I talked about you to the Princess?”
“You know very well.”
“You heard earlier. The Princess wanted to know, so I had no choice.”
“Don’t use the Princess as an excuse. You must have stimulated her curiosity first, which is why she asked.”
“I just thought the Princess was curious about your news-”
“I said stop making excuses!”
When the loud voice rang out, Melissa finally closed her mouth and changed her expression. Until just now she had looked wronged, but now she frowns with anger.
“Isn’t this too much? Is it such a big problem to confide in a friend?”
“What? Confide?”
“Yes, since you were struggling with the Daniel issue, I wanted to help in my own way. Just then, the Princess asked if you and I were getting along well. She was worried because you haven’t been sending letters as frequently as before.”
“I was just temporarily preoccupied with the Daniel issue.”
“That’s exactly why I mentioned that problem to her, wasn’t it? So she could give you words of encouragement.”
“For my sake?”
Seeing her friend let out a scoffing laugh, Melissa calmly nodded.
“Yes, it was for your sake.”
Watching this, a sense of futility took over her entire body. The past years of considering this person her best friend for over a decade felt pathetic.
“You always say you did it for me. Your mouth is only tight when it comes to me.”
It wasn’t that Kisa was completely unaware that Melissa had this side to her. Since childhood, Melissa had used Kisa’s stories as bait to attract people’s interest and lead conversations.
It would be a lie to say it wasn’t uncomfortable, but even so, Kisa never actively stopped Melissa’s behavior.
[My beautiful friend, Kisa Vansfelt.]
That’s what Melissa would say every time she made Kisa a topic of conversation. Though somewhat burdensome, Kisa thought it was just her way of showing pride in their friendship.
In childhood, Melissa had been the kind one who first approached the extremely shy Kisa. That same Melissa was someone who would readily use not only her friend’s appearance but also her worries to curry favor with the Princess.
“Wasn’t it good for you too?”
Watching Kisa biting her lip intently, Melissa spoke defensively.
“Everyone thinks so highly of you. Plus, even the Princess is on your side. You don’t have to be afraid anymore even if Daniel acts like a rogue.”
Only a sigh came out at the absurdity.
“So you exposed my private matters as you pleased?”
“‘Exposed’ is a bit harsh, dear. It was just confiding, like I said.”
“Confide about your own worries. Don’t go around spreading other people’s concerns.”
“When did I spread rumors?”
“Since others know about it now, it’s only a matter of time before it spreads. Daniel Lowens is looking elsewhere despite having a fiancée. Kisa Vansfelt is anxiously failing to hold onto a man’s heart.”
Melissa rolled her eyes as if to say not to talk nonsense.
“Are you saying the other ladies are loose-lipped? Why can’t you trust your friend?”
“Some friend you are.”
‘The Princess’s playmate who caters to her whims’ would be a more fitting description. At Kisa’s blunt words, Melissa cried out in shock.
“Kisa! How could you say such a thing!”
Kisa stared blankly at the fuming Melissa.
The Melissa she knew wasn’t naive enough to believe that a secret revealed before multiple people would remain a secret. She probably just wanted to avoid criticism.
“Why are you really being like this? Why are you saying such horrible things? I really just wanted to lift your spirits…”
The tearful Melissa made Kisa lose any will to distinguish right from wrong. It was no different than talking to a wall.
She hid Daniel’s indiscretion for Kisa’s sake, and then confessed it to the Princess for Kisa’s sake as well. Whether it was the result of endless self-justification or not, Melissa seemed to sincerely believe this.
“Enough. Further conversation seems meaningless.”
“If there’s a misunderstanding, let’s resolve it through talking.”
“No, it would only make my mouth sore.”
“…Fine, do as you please!”
Melissa closed her mouth in protest, and Kisa no longer felt the need to speak to her either. The carriage moved forward in uncomfortable silence until finally arriving at the Dos family mansion.
“Kisa.”
Before leaving the carriage, Melissa turned to Kisa and said:
“I believe someday you’ll understand my feelings. Your sharp reaction now must be because you lack peace of mind due to Daniel.”
Kisa made no response. Melissa threw a frustrated look at her friend before getting out of the carriage and entering the mansion.
In the carriage heading to the Vansfelt townhouse, looking outside, a thought suddenly occurred to her. Isn’t Melissa exactly the kind of exemplary daughter that Count Vansfelt wants?
She doesn’t meddle in other families’ marriage affairs under the pretense of helping a friend, and does her best to be the Princess’s joy.
Perhaps he had expected his daughter to emulate Melissa. That’s why he introduced his friend’s daughter to his own daughter and instructed them to be close friends.
Yes. Come to think of it, Kisa’s own will wasn’t really involved in becoming friends with Melissa.
Not only that, but meeting and getting engaged to Daniel were all according to the Count’s will. What about feelings? Can she really say she liked Daniel of her own will?
A boy of her age who frequently visited the mansion on the Count’s invitation during her loneliest and most desolate time.
Moreover, Daniel back then was quite obedient to his father, so he tried to treat Kisa relatively well. It was only natural that Kisa developed her first innocent love.
Thinking this way, she suddenly felt suffocated. Kisa’s life was controlled by the Count from beginning to end. Look. Even now, he’s ignoring her wish to break off the engagement.
She’ll probably end up marrying Daniel soon unless she escapes from the Count’s grasp. But unfortunately, she has no proper means to do so.
Kisa blankly stared down at her pale hands. Everything in these hands was given to her by the Count. Not just material things but even relationships, nothing was truly her own…
“No.”
There is one person. Recently, there was one person with whom she formed a connection completely unrelated to the Count’s wishes.
“Wait, wait, stop for a moment!”
Impulsively opening the carriage window, Kisa called out toward the driver’s seat. After the carriage stopped by the roadside, Marsha, who had been in the driver’s seat, hurriedly ran over and opened the door.
“What’s wrong, Miss?”
“I just remembered something I need to do at the Royal Library. Please turn around.”
“What? Right now?”
“Yes.”
“But if you’re late coming home again like before-”
“Don’t worry. I’ll come out before it gets too late.”
Marsha, who would normally have opposed more firmly, seemed hesitant. Having heard the argument between Kisa and Melissa, she was probably being cautious about getting caught in the crossfire. It seems she decided to accommodate Kisa’s mood.
“Alright, I understand. But we must return before the master comes home.”
And so the carriage changed direction and headed toward the area where the Royal Library was located.
He wasn’t in the nobles’ reading room she was visiting for the second time. Though she hadn’t expected much from the start, entering the empty reading room just like before gave her a sense of disappointment.
“Well, just because he’s a university student doesn’t mean he has to always be at the library.”
Muttering quietly, Kisa placed a book on the desk. “Theory of Possession.” It was philosopher Barth’s book that Seyard had recommended when they met before.
She had wanted to read it since then and even checked Count Vansfelt’s library, but while there were several other works by Barth, “Theory of Possession” wasn’t among them.
However, sending someone to obtain the book wasn’t a good choice either. Since Kisa had never shown interest in such matters before, the content of the errand would inevitably reach the Count’s ears, and he was unlikely to approve of his daughter’s change.
“Well, I originally came to read this book anyway.”
The man who had given her truly encouraging words. While she wanted to meet him again, the original purpose of coming here was to retrace the memories of that day.
Even that alone made her feel like her constricted breathing was loosening somewhat. Among all that had happened in the past few days, the memory of this reading room was the most pleasant.
Sitting in the same spot as last time, Kisa opened the first page of the much thinner book. Oh, Seyard’s recommendation was certainly right – the vocabulary and expressions are much easier compared to Barth’s Doctrine.
Since she came all this way, she might as well read it to the end. Despite this ambitious resolve and eagerly scanning the lined-up letters, there was an unexpected obstacle.
She had barely read two pages when her eyes kept closing. Come to think of it, she hadn’t been able to sleep at all last night. The pressure of having to meet Melissa against her wishes had weighed on her.
Oh no, this won’t do. She can’t waste this precious opportunity so futilely. Even while thinking this, Kisa started nodding off.
The library’s comfortably warm temperature and tranquil atmosphere hindered her resistance to the approaching sleep.
She props her swaying forehead on her hand with her elbow on the desk. Despite such efforts, her vision became hazily blurred and her consciousness drifted somewhere.
Finally, as her arm gave way and her head was falling forward. Oh my, some force supported Kisa’s forehead. To prevent it from colliding with the desk.
“You must be very tired.”
The man sitting across from her spoke with a smiling face. It was Seyard.
