“Episode 9”
“Please stay here, Ellen. I’ll go in alone.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”
Although it was a question about her well-being, Ellen’s words towards Diana lacked any emotion. Instead, there was relief in her tone, knowing she wouldn’t have to follow.
“Fine.”
Anyway, she didn’t have the intention to follow, did she? Useless pleasantries like that weren’t necessary. Diana tried to suppress the emotions bubbling up inside her chest. Ellen, aside from the courtesy remark, didn’t pay any attention to Diana.
That was convenient for Diana, so she confidently stepped into the temple. It was the Briana Temple she had avoided since becoming the Duchess, simply because it didn’t fit the image of a Duchess.
“Who goes there?”
Fortunately, there were priests inside the temple.
“It’s been a while.”
Diana used to come looking shabby all the time. Even her family, the Marquis of Anzrea, used to discourage her from going to the Briana Temple. But now, there was no one to stop her from going anywhere.
“Oh! Lady Diana?”
The priests were delighted to see the unusual worshipper.
“How have you been? It’s been a long time.”
“We thought you might have gone to another god’s embrace since you haven’t been here for a while.”
While the priests were overwhelmed with joy, Diana remained serious. Her eyes scanned the temple. The condition of the temple was worse than when she last visited.
“It seems worse than the last time I was here.”
The priest bit his lip slightly.
“You needn’t worry, Lady Diana. This is our punishment for not being faithful to the god.”
As Diana listened to the priests, who always blamed themselves, a heavy feeling settled in her chest.
She used to think that if she approached the god more earnestly, things would change. But now she realized that wasn’t the case. The god simply didn’t care about this place.
“But there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“It seems we’ve shown you a sight you shouldn’t have seen, worrying the Lord. You really don’t need to worry. You came here after a long time because you wanted to pray to Lady Briana, isn’t that right?”
At those words, she nodded very slowly.
“Yes. Will you give me some time to pray?”
As the priest stepped aside, Diana entered the prayer room as if she were familiar with it.
The so-called prayer room was just a small room where only two or three people could barely fit. Diana sat on the creaking chair, closed her eyes, and clasped her hands together. Then, she earnestly prayed, hoping to hear the voice of the god she couldn’t fully hear before.
“My god, Lady Briana. What should I do? Please… give me an answer.”
But asking such a question didn’t guarantee she would hear the voice of the god.
“How should I know what to do when I can’t even see an inch ahead? Is it over once I say it like that?”
Resentment crept into her prayers, prayers that were initially seeking answers. And finally, the god responded to her, just as she had begged for death that day.
“My beloved child. You who have given life and have seen all paths of life.”
Finally, the voice of the god reached her.
A gender-neutral voice that couldn’t be determined as either male or female.
“What do you want from me?”
“I only wish for the happiness of my one and only child who believes in me.”
“Happiness….”
“So find him. Find that person and eliminate him.”
“How can I find someone… whom I don’t even know?”
The god’s words that she would soon meet her child again. That was the only thing she hoped for. But no matter how much she thought about it for days, she couldn’t find anything she could do.
There was no information about the person who would distort fate.
“You will meet him soon. The one who will help you and the one who will distort your fate.”
“To meet soon….”
“The one who distorts fate is everywhere yet nowhere. It is someone deeply connected to you.”
The riddle-like words made her chest feel tight. Was it because of that? The calm voice of Lady Briana, who had never seemed anxious, became impatient.
“You will know. Although I can no longer intervene in fate, my child. The helper is someone unfamiliar… tsu-tsu….”
The god’s voice, about to say more, became blurry. As if something were blocking it. Surprised, Diana called out to the god again, but the voice abruptly cut off.
“Ah…”
In disbelief, Diana stared at the ceiling for a long time. The entirely white ceiling of the prayer room had particularly visible cracks. She wondered if she would hear the voice of the god again or if Briana would offer some other story, but even after waiting for a long time, no voice returned.
Finally, after about thirty minutes, she rose from her seat and left the prayer room.
“Did you pray well?”
Diana smiled slightly at the priest in front of her.
“Father, have you ever heard the voice of the god?”
Of the only three priests, two were busy maintaining the temple, and the eldest priest, with a sad smile, responded to her question.
“If I had heard the voice of the god, I wouldn’t have taken such a harsh path.”
“I see.”
“And so, I’m curious. What does the god want? Sometimes, I even feel resentment towards the god. But then again, priests shouldn’t feel that way.”
Diana simply nodded her head at his words. Who could blame them?
“Diana, have you… by any chance, heard the voice of the god?”
“Oh.”
“Even if you did hear that voice, pretend you didn’t. If you heard the voice of the god, you would have to become a priestess. That path is especially difficult.”
The expression on the priest’s face told her what he meant. Even though they served the god with fervent faith, not everyone was happy. Raised devoutly their entire lives, they still had to work hard to maintain a temple that could crumble at any moment. Because they served the god, they couldn’t do anything else and were constantly worried about their livelihood.
Knowing this, Diana nodded with a bitter expression.
“Yes.”
Finally regaining her composure, Diana arrived at the entrance of the temple.
“Father, I’ll come visit again.”
Diana took out a small pouch from her pocket. It was her allowance from the Duchess.
“This is…”
“The condition of the temple seems worse than before.”
“Although support is provided to all temples from the capital, it’s not easy to pay attention to a temple with hardly any worshippers. Moreover, this time, one of the priests even went out…”
The disappointed priest warmly accepted the pouch she offered.
“I’ll use this for the god.”
“No, before doing anything else, please have a proper meal. Father. You don’t have to be stubborn.”
Perhaps the god really didn’t care about this temple.
At that moment, Diana had that thought. What if it wasn’t her, but instead, the people of this temple who were given a voice? What if they had been shown the right path?
“If only I had done that, we wouldn’t be in such poverty. If only I had gathered worshippers with the power of the god. If only I had spread my own mythology far and wide, everyone would have been happy,” she thought.
But for some reason, the god had chosen her. It held onto her desire to die. Because of that, Diana had to live. After hearing the voice of Briana, the goddess, this feeling welled up even more in her heart.
“Thank you.”
“I don’t know how long I can continue to provide support, but I’ll bring it every time I come. Please use it without worry.”
The priest looked at her with moist eyes.
“Yes. Thank you… Thank you.”
Watching him bow his head several times, Diana felt a discomfort in her heart. Somehow, she felt partly responsible for the state of this place. Therefore, she ignored the priest who continued to express gratitude and walked out.
“Are you leaving, my lady?”
Ellen, still waiting in front of the temple, didn’t seem pleased. Standing barefoot on the ground, her cheeks were flushed, and her voice lacked its usual cheerfulness.
“I have to go back.”
“Yes.”
Seeing Diana heading towards the carriage, Ellen’s expression didn’t improve. Without hiding her wounded feelings, she followed behind Diana resolutely. She continued to do so until Diana boarded the carriage and it began to move.
Diana couldn’t help but be aware of the scrutiny from everyone in the Duke’s household, something she had always been accustomed to. However, unlike before, there was a change in her feelings.
Deciding to live as herself was the thing she regretted the most, having wasted so much time worrying about others’ opinions. Therefore, Diana silently gazed out the window, waiting for the carriage to arrive at the Duke’s residence.
