If You Want a Perfect Divorce

“Episode 6”

And she regained consciousness again due to tremendous pain. Diana opened her eyes to excruciating pain as if someone was crushing her stomach. She realized she was in the bedroom and that the preparations for childbirth were over.

“Miss… You need to come to your senses. The baby… the baby is in danger!”

“Oh… Ah! Ah!!!”

It was only later that she realized the fluid flowing out was amniotic fluid protecting the baby, and Diana had no choice but to push. No, she had to give her all to save the baby. It was a miscarriage. After 27 hours of labor, Diana, who had fainted three times, miraculously gave birth to the baby.

Perhaps that’s why the baby’s breathing was so weak. When Diana regained consciousness after giving birth, it was already night. The baby, barely breathing, lay beside her.

“Baby…”

Unable to hold back her overflowing tears, Diana hugged the baby tightly.

“Our baby…”

With a parched face, bloodshot eyes, and sweaty hair, the baby’s dry cheeks became even drier. Yet Diana smiled as she looked at the baby in her arms.

My ally. The only one I will love. Let’s love each other. Let’s cherish each other and only look at each other. My beloved baby. I’m your mother.

Diana whispered loving words to the baby, but when the doctor who realized she had awakened entered, her little dream shattered.

“The baby who was just born… has congenital heart weakness, so she may only… live for about a week.”

“What…? What is that…?”

“It could be as long as a week.”

“Unbelievable. My baby can’t be like that! Get another doctor. My baby can’t be like that!”

“It seems that she didn’t fill her term.”

Ah, it’s because of me. It’s my fault.

“Oh my God. Please… please protect my precious baby. Please… if you are there, you can take my breath, but please protect the baby. My God, Briana. Please, please give us the strength to overcome this pain.”

Diana didn’t give up hope. She just thought the baby was weak. She hoped it would get better soon. She tried to save the baby by feeding her sugar water, even though she couldn’t breastfeed once.

But the baby… before even receiving a name, without even crying once, left the world. Without even knowing if she had eyes like her mother, she didn’t open her eyes until that day.

Meanwhile, Rixio never came to her.

He just came and went with Hysteria.

Even then, it was only cruel reality that he heard about Heteya being confined to a mental hospital and that Rixio couldn’t come because he was taking care of the collapsed Heteya.

From that day on, Diana went insane.

The moment she realized her baby had died, Diana said she would only be with the baby for one day and then went crazy.

Still, there was no chance for the baby to survive.

All of that flooded back to her.

Diana, who was lying on the floor, barely got up and looked at the baby in the housekeeper’s arms. The baby already had a color that couldn’t be considered human. Seeing the baby, Diana had to sit back on the floor again.

“Ha… Ha… Our baby. Our baby… Like this… like this.”

It was hope.

It was love. It was everything.

She had been happy during the time she had the baby. It was the happiest and most peaceful time of her life. It was the peace she had gained from Rixio loving her, but it was also because she had her first and only existence.

An existence to love with all her heart. An existence to be loved with all her heart.

It was her only ally and her only hope. So the emptiness in her chest was immense. The pain that covered her was so great that she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“You… must be… at peace.”

Diana met Rixio’s eyes.

“Give me the baby.”

“Stop it, Diana.”

“You can at least see her one last time. You can at least send her off in her mother’s arms, can’t you?”

Only then did Rixio give the baby to Diana. Tenderly caressing the baby, who had already turned cold and was already injured, Diana shed tears.

“…You must be… at peace now. You pretended to be a loving husband for the baby.”

“Diana.”

“But I wish you could endure a little longer. Just two more months… just two months. Then our baby… wouldn’t have been born like that.”

She already heard it from the doctor.

That she gave birth because she fell due to the rupture of the amniotic fluid.

“Dia. That’s…”

“It’s okay. I don’t blame you. It’s just… just my fault. My fault.”

“Don’t think like that.”

“If I don’t think like this, I’ll hate you enough to want to kill you. So, that’s why. So, let me blame myself.”

What could he say?

Rixio, who silently looked at Diana, pressed his lips tightly.

He wanted to have a proper funeral, but Hysteria prevented it. How could they hold a funeral for a baby who hadn’t even been named and hadn’t been formally registered in the family?

In the end, Diana had to cremate the baby without even properly conducting the funeral. It remained a source of regret for her.

Daily life returned as if that incident had only happened to Diana alone. Time passed sluggishly like that.

“You can have another baby.”

The first consolation Rixio gave to her when he visited her room a month later.

A consolation given to the mother who buried her baby in her heart.

At the same time, he tried to undress her as he used to.

“…Rixio. Stop it, stop it!”

“Why? I heard your body has recovered. Anyway, the baby is dead, so if you have another one, then, then you’ll feel better…”

In the end, Diana couldn’t bear it and slapped his cheek hard.

“…Have another one? It may be as easy for you as buying something, but it’s not for me. How can I, how can I…!”

“…How long are you going to live with a dead child in your arms?”

“For life. For life. I’ll hold her in my arms until the day I die.”

“…It’s just pointless. Eventually, you’ll only get sicker. I asked to clear out the baby’s room tomorrow.”

“Are you crazy? Are you insane? It hasn’t even been a year since the baby died, it’s only been a month. But still, but still…!”

“I endured crying and going crazy for that one month.”

“Who asked you to endure? Who comforted you? You endured that one month? Because you couldn’t do this, you endured? Huh?”

“Diana!”

Watching her shout angrily, Rixio let out a deep sigh.

“It’s enough to tolerate.”

“I’ll endure it. You watch me. When? You didn’t even come to see me while our baby was like that. Sticking close to that woman…!”

“Because Hedeia’s health…! There was no one else to take care of her because of her mother…”

“Your child is about to die, but you’re still protecting that woman to the end.”

He hated that woman too, but he was even more disgusted with Rixio. He hated himself for not protecting the baby the most. Diana bit her lip with all those feelings.

“Did you ever feel sorry even once? You probably felt relieved instead. Because you didn’t have to pretend to be a loving husband.”

“…Stop it. If a new baby is born, you’ll think differently too.”

Without hesitation, he undressed Diana.

“Stop it, stop it!! I hate it.”

But Rixio was relentless. Diana, who was already thin and couldn’t even eat properly, couldn’t handle it. Even though she struggled and tried to escape, Rixio spent the night with her, thinking that if he could have another baby with her, she would come back.

From that day on, Rixio sought her out every night like a beast. Because they were a married couple, he said she would shine again if she had a new baby.

But until six months had passed, she couldn’t have a baby. Conversation between them gradually disappeared, and days of just spending the night continued. Diana gave up everything. She eventually withered away.

***

A few days later, Diana greeted him as she did when she first met him, dressed up. Despite being so thin, she was shining brightly like she did back then. She had her silver hair elegantly tied up and welcomed him in a precious dress.

“Diana… have you finally come to your senses now?”

“I have something to say, Rixio.”

“Yeah. Have you finally changed your mind?”

“Yeah.”

Diana took a step back as Rixio approached her.

“Rixio. I love you.”

“……”

“I loved you…”

“……”

“And now. Let’s stop this.”

Diana’s voice sounded strange, as dry and hoarse as her withered stomach. She looked at Rixio with empty eyes, stroking her empty belly.

“Diana.”

“Rixio, I thought you had forgotten my name. You know, I feel like I’ve become a beast. I want to stop living like this just to have a baby. For my whole life, that baby… is the only one.”

“Diana, why are you saying this?”

“Let’s get a divorce. Us.”

It was truly a long and enduring relationship, and a long-lasting unrequited love.