“Episode 12”
“But hey, Ellen. I’m curious, who recommended you to be here?” Diana’s eyes sparkled with a newfound vigor. She no longer wanted to be ignored.
“There must be something you feel yourself, don’t you? A maid with many shortcomings. I thought I made myself clear last time. Ellen, you haven’t changed.”
Continuing to sigh in front of her mistress was an act unbefitting of a maid. That much she knew. Reporting on her daily activities to Hysteria was inevitable.
Like a marionette with strings tied to her back, Diana moved as Hysteria intended. The household servants standing on Hysteria’s side manipulated Diana according to their convenience or her wishes. She didn’t realize it then, but now, taking a step back and observing, everything was clear.
“She’s just a doll, after all.”
Having resolved to change, Diana chuckled at the maid. There was no longer any need for her to live for someone else.
“Why don’t you think that way?”
“If you had recognized your mistakes and admitted them, I would have thought you were worth keeping around…”
Diana trailed her tongue over her lips, scanning Ellen up and down.
“…a maid so lacking, serving in the Duke’s household. Even the attendant to the Duchess, that’s me, has such a maid.”
“Y-Your words are too harsh…”
“Since when have maids dared to contradict their mistress’s words?”
Ellen wore an anxious expression. Contradicting her mistress’s words was unheard of, and she understood them too well. The sudden change in Diana, who had always disregarded whatever she did, was abrupt. Her hands trembled.
“Why is she doing this?”
Having experienced something similar on the day they visited the temple of Brianna, Ellen had thought it would improve if she just left it alone for a few days. So she waited without saying anything for a few days.
But now, as soon as she said something again, it was like this. It was even more unfamiliar because she was used to listening to the Duchess’s words so well.
Moreover, Hysteria, the former Duchess, was not in a good mood, making Ellen even more anxious. She had to report on the daily activities of the Duchess every day, but all she did was stay holed up in her room.
“I truly don’t understand your command to leave. Your Grace. Me… Me?”
“Can’t you truly understand my words until I drag you out?”
Ellen shook her head frantically, but Diana had already risen from her seat.
“If you can’t understand even after I pull you out…”
Ellen shook her head desperately, but Diana had already risen from her seat.
“I don’t want to leave like that.”
“… ”
It was then that Ellen, surveying the situation, turned her body around.
As Ellen went to see Hysteria, the maid who was roughly ushered in had to come out shortly after. She wasn’t the only one. Diana refused all the maids who entered the room. When the number reached ten, the steward eventually came to find her.
The steward, who entered through the slightly open door without even knocking, looked uncomfortable as he scanned her up and down.
“Your Grace. How much longer do you intend to do this?”
“Are you here to inform me that there’s nothing for me to do here?”
Diana smiled slightly at the steward’s appearance instead of the maid.
“What do you mean?”
“Were you the one who could barge in without knocking and interrogate me?”
“…”
Diana’s eyes, which had always been as delicate as a fluttering flower in the breeze, suddenly became fierce. The steward seemed to realize what he had done wrong and fell silent.
Although he had heard through other maids that Diana had changed, he hadn’t expected her to change so drastically. His complexion darkened.
In the past, Diana had always been someone who didn’t care whether someone entered the room or not. Wasn’t she always worried about herself?
“Why did she change like this?”
Even her gaze was different. Instead of looking like a beaten dog, she seemed confident and defiant. Unsettled by this, the steward let out a deep sigh.
“Hmm…”
“Why can’t you answer? Are you allowed to do so because you’re someone who’s allowed to?”
“No, if I’ve upset Your Grace…”
Seeing the steward making the same expression as all the maids who had entered the room, Diana laughed. Their expressions were all the same as if they had been ordered to do so.
“Why is she acting like that?”
They all looked at her with the same expression.
“How have I been living all this time?”
How much had they ignored her? Diana thought about such things as she tapped her fingers on the table. In a steady rhythm.
“If you’ve upset me? You already have. Isn’t that right, steward?”
“I apologize.”
The steward, who turned fifty this year, looked at her uncomfortably.
The change in her, which had been meek until recently, was not delightful at all. Diana, who had always moved according to her own will, was now a headache like a doll that suddenly gained will.
“I’m sorry. I’ve done something I shouldn’t have done.”
“Sorry… That’s convenient. To just pass off whatever mistake you made as a ‘sorry.'”
Diana smiled faintly. But everyone could tell that there was no real smile in that laughter.
“If I’ve upset you, I apologize. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“Fine.”
The steward stared at her for a long time without saying a word. The atmosphere in the room quickly darkened. The stifling feeling filled the room.
Because she had been keeping the fireplace lit all the time lately, only the occasional sound of firewood breaking could be heard. After a while, as it seemed this couldn’t go on, the steward spoke heavily.
“Your Grace. May I ask why you’ve come to see me like this?”
The steward, who bowed his head neatly, waited for Diana’s response to his words. And after a long while, she shifted her gaze to him.
“What?”
“I heard the sound of maids being continuously sent out. There’s no one left who wants to be a maid for Your Grace anymore.”
Though he spoke with proper decorum, the words that crept out from time to time couldn’t be helped, even for a steward. While he wasn’t sure who was speaking, the listener could understand the subtle difference in tone better than anyone else. Therefore, Diana’s face hardened even more than before.
“Have I ever expressed a desire for a maid even once?”
“Your Grace.”
“It’s amusing how they pick maids without any desire on my part, and now there’s no one who wants to be a maid. Truly amusing.”
If it had been her in the past, she would have apologized for such words. She thought everything in the world was her fault. That’s what she thought would help her endure here for a long time.
“Stupidly, back then, I was busy trying to consider other people’s feelings. As if my own feelings didn’t matter.”
She, who had wanted to be a kind and compassionate duchess to everyone, had now changed. There was no longer any reason for her to stay attached to the ducal family, even if it meant degrading herself.
“So if you’re going to talk about useless things, I’ll leave now. Steward.”
