Estribal’s face hardened. He suppressed his boiling anger and barely opened his mouth.
“…Don’t say things you’ll regret.”
However, Ciello spoke nonchalantly.
“Why should I regret? It’s not a mistake. Want to touch, want to do it. What sin is that…”
“Ciello!”
Estribal shouted. But Ciello did not stop.
“Duke, I didn’t avoid it because I disliked it.”
“What…did you say.”
Estribal looked at Ciello with a face as if he had been slapped. Ciello met his gaze squarely.
Of course, the determination he suddenly showed in a relationship where they couldn’t even properly hold hands without gloves was too sudden for Ciello. But it was just as stimulating.
The magazine burned without a trace in the stove, but Estribal’s voice reading it came vividly to mind when night fell, tearing at Ciello’s insides.
The flame that Estribal called a sin was too hot and scary, but Ciello definitely wanted to look inside it.
“Aren’t you curious? What I thought after that day.”
Ciello’s voice pierced through both of Estribal’s ears, echoing in his mind like a hollow, resonant drum.
Since that day.
Thoughts.
Aren’t you curious?
Estribal’s brain felt like it was melting.
Perhaps you, too, at night. Do you clench your body? Close your eyes and call my name? Grip the sheets, your feet curling until they finally relax like soaked cotton?
Just like me.
“I… …”
As he clenched his teeth, a vein from his neck to his jaw pulsed vividly. Ciello stared intently at his lower body before lifting her gaze. Estribal’s face flushed as if it would burst.
“Seems curious,very curious.”
Ciello approached him and pushed him onto the chair. Estribal, who was standing dazed, sank into the chair as if his legs had given out.
“Ciello, what are you… ugh!”
Ciello straddled him, roughly undoing his cravat.
“Ciello! Get off, regret things…ugh, don’t do this…”
Was the lack of resistance in his pushing hands a deception or honesty? Ciello effortlessly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a body covered in scars. She flinched briefly but didn’t hesitate long.
“I don’t have regrets.”
Ciello explored him without hesitation, flicking her tongue, tracing lines with her fingertips.
“Ciello, please…ugh, huff, stop it, let go.”
Where her inexperienced hands passed, flames ignited, and with each touch of her lips, he moaned in pain or perhaps another sensation.
“Mmm…haa. Told you to stop lying…”
“No. Like this, ah, no…”
Estribal twisted his waist to hide the evidence of the new sensations awakening within him, but their bodies pressed together only outlined it to Ciello more vividly. Sensing this, Ciello slowly pressed closer and instinctively moved her hips.
“Don’t do this, no, I…”
Their labored breaths mingled, yet he continued to deny his own body. Ciello slowly lifted her head from where it had been buried in his chest and gazed down at him.
His face was flushed red, his body covered in old scars now stained with the new marks she had left. His large hand gripped the armrest as if it would shatter it, the very hand that always rejected and pushed away everything.
Ciello slowly felt his hand, prying it off the armrest.
“Ciello, what are you planning to do? I…”
Estribal struggled to catch his breath and looked at Ciello. Without a word, Ciello threw his glove to the ground. His long, slender fingers trembled slightly.
Moments later, that hand disappeared from their sight.
Hmmm. Ciello let out a soft moan.
Estribal stopped breathing.
“…..Stop!”
Estribal sharply pushed Ciello away, causing her to stagger and lean against the table. A faint smile hung on her lips.
“You were curious, right? That’s why I told you.”
Estribal’s face contorted in anguish.
“You… you, such contempt to me!”
He shouted at Ciello, but his anger was undeniably directed at himself.
The pain he felt every time his skin touched hers was a clear warning. It was as if every moment they brushed against each other was a torment, a reminder not to seek joy in this life.
But now.
Even amidst the burning pain, Estribal could not deny his shudder. The pain could not prevent his sin.
The sin of a body recklessly given to pleasure.
The sin of a wet hand, the only one who had experienced desire.
Ultimately, the sin of a human.
Estribal abruptly stood up from his chair and approached Ciello. Overwhelmed by his anger, he slammed both hands on the table.
“Don’t ever think I’m keeping you here for such a lowly reason!”
“Is it lowly? Making a fool of people is much more dirty and damp! What’s wrong with a person liking a person!”
Ciello gritted her teeth, looking up at him. Estribal’s face twisted.
“A person, likes a person.”
At his faint murmur, Ciello chuckled.
“Again, you’re going to say you’re not a person, Duke? Obvious words…”
“…No.”
Estribal shook his head. The corners of his mouth twisted in an indistinguishable way, as if he was laughing or crying. He slowly opened his mouth.
“I like you.”
Thud. A huge rock fell on Ciello’s heart. It was crushed. He looked up at Ciello. The red blood vessels spreading around his elegant golden eyes were cruel.
“Knowing that, yet you act like this.”
Ciello blankly met his eyes. When she first saw him, she thought his eyes were those of a hunter. The kind of gaze that only a predator, who never leaves its position, has.
But now, he had the eyes of a bloody prey. In fact, what Estribal held was not the hilt of a knife, but the blade. He was swinging the handle while holding the blade.
And instead of the blood he had to shed, tears fell from Ciello’s eyes.
“You won, Ciello.”
Estribal slowly got up. Then he left the office and disappeared down the corridor.
“No, no…This is not…”
Ciello, who was mumbling blankly, staggered into her room. In the dressing table with a large mirror, there was a fragrant perfume, and on the elegant stool, there was a cozy fur cloak. Things that Estribal had given her directly or through others filled the room.
When she first saw them, they fascinated her so much that she couldn’t come to her senses. Now, she couldn’t tell whether they were chains that bound her, or a passionate confession.
Ciello opened the wardrobe with trembling hands. Inside, it was filled with various dresses. Those clothes, too, shook Ciello with their brilliant colors.
[I like you.]
[Contempt.]
[You won.]
Ciello’s breath quickened. She hastily folded the dresses with her hands and pulled out the clothes hanging in the far corner. A coat with worn elbows, a shirt of rough fabric, and shabby pants. They were the clothes she wore when she first entered this mansion.
Ciello quickly undressed and changed into those clothes as if she was scared. The rough touch on her skin, which had become accustomed to silk and lace, felt strange. Lastly, Ciello put on old leather shoes and left the room.
Ciello walked down the corridor as if she was being chased by someone. A few servants bowed their heads in front of Ciello.
“Miss.”
They were servants who never spoke first. But Ciello bowed her head in response and hurriedly passed them.
Ciello, who left the mansion, went straight to the stable and got on a horse. It was quite awkward as she had been riding a carriage for a while, but she could manage.
“Hyah!”
As she drove the horse out of the mansion entrance, Estribal was already there as if he had anticipated it. Ciello flinched instinctively, but she tried to look down at him confidently. It was her first time seeing him from this height, but Ciello was not happy at all.
In the cold night, Estribal, who was standing against the mansion wrapped in dry ivy, opened his mouth.
“Will you be okay?”
At his words, Ciello felt like running away. Ciello knew what he wanted to say next. The very words that Ciello stabbed Estribal’s heart with a knife in her hand. So, probably, words he would never say.
“There will be no problem with the plan. Don’t worry.”
Ciello mumbled, avoiding his gaze.
Plan, reward, contract, money. She seemed to finally understand why Estribal had been babbling about these things to her.
“Right.”
Estribal briefly stared down a dark path and nodded calmly. Ciello spoke nonchalantly, gripping the reins tightly.
“It seems you anticipated that I would leave, Duke. Seeing how calm you are.”
Estribal didn’t answer. Silence flowed.
If she broke this silence wrongly, he might shatter along with the silence, and he might never return to his original form.
Since she found out that he couldn’t kill himself, Ciello was afraid of him for the first time.
‘So, did you push me away because I was scared?’
“…Goodbye, Duke.”
Ciello turned the horse’s head with trembling hands. The horse carrying Ciello disappeared outside the mansion. Estribal watched Ciello’s receding figure and muttered.
“Right. You’ve become quite perceptive.”
****
[And so, I will send Ciello there. I don’t know when, but please take a close look.]
