After Ciello left, Estribal was still stuck in Ciello’s room, unable to move a single step.
His intention to prevent Ciello from attending the founding ceremony was not because he was embarrassed about Ciello. Amidst the vulgar rumors, how many dirty words would be thrown around if he chose Ciello as his partner for the founding ceremony. So it was a very reasonable and obvious reason.
“Rather, request the first princess to make her a maid… No, that can’t be.”
Estribal muttered and sighed. It was an absurd method.
Moreover, the more Ciello was with him, her dignity would fall to the ground, but anyway, Ciello’s presence would grow. That was right.
But the reason he didn’t want to send Ciello to the first princess was not just because of such logic. Even this painful reality was colored by Ciello’s side. He even wanted to hold her hand and travel all over the world together, capturing the scenery where Ciello is, how could he push her away.
He had no shame to hold her, but he had even less courage to let her go. Acknowledging his selfishness, all that was left was self-loathing to the point of nausea.
“Then how on earth should I clear up the misunderstanding…”
Estribal touched his furrowed brow. It seemed better to be treated as a cruel author than to mention the existence of such a lewd book with his own mouth.
The reason why Estribal found those cheap colored books so disgusting was not simply because of a sense of insult. The real reason he couldn’t bear it was…
“…I’m here.”
“Ciello!”
The door opened. Estribal, forgetting to hide his anticipation for Ciello, abruptly stood up.
“Why do you look like that? Even if you were angry, you should have taken at least one escort. Where on earth…”
Ciello put a worn-out thin book on the table. His instantly face hardened like an ice rink.
“Was it because of this?”
Estribal glared at the book as if it was dirty. But Ciello calmly flipped through a few pages of the book.
“I don’t see what the problem is with this. Wasn’t this part of your plan too? Like when you left me to be kidnapped by the Liberation Force because I became famous.”
“Stop it, Ciello.”
His voice simmered low. Yet he still didn’t seem to want to have a proper conversation, and he didn’t say anything more. Ciello, unable to hide her frustration, tapped the book with her palm a few times.
“After all, it’s all lies. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Lies.”
A strange smile curled at the corners of Estribal’s mouth. Ciello crossed her arms and shot back.
“Ah, is it because you don’t like me being involved with the Duke?”
Estribal’s mouth, which had been feigning indifference, twitched. He slowly opened his mouth.
“Are you asking me now if I disliked it?”
His voice was slow and heavy, like a sunken anchor being dragged up from the deep sea. The pressure made Ciello’s body involuntarily shrink, but she didn’t stop speaking.
“You hate seeing me, touching me. So you didn’t want to hear such rumors, so you didn’t want to take me to the founding ceremony…”
“How miserable do you have to make me to feel satisfied?”
Estribal’s face twisted fiercely. If there was a sound to his expression, it would have been a sharp crack.
“Huh? That can’t be…”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know. Your intentions are clear, and I can see right through you.”
Estribal spoke coldly. On his bare face, where the ice mask had shattered, self-loathing due to desire and the ridicule that stemmed from it were raging together.
“You thought I said that because I hate those who insult you, because I want to protect you from them, right?”
Ciello bit her lip. She couldn’t deny his words, or the expectations still laid on him. Seeing Ciello’s expression, Estribal lifted the corners of his mouth in mockery.
“Since you said you don’t want to rely on me, let me be very clear. I’m sorry, but the most disgusting and vile being that insults you is me.”
“Huh? What are you talking about? Why the Duke?”
Estribal slightly tilted his head and lifted the book in front of him. Ciello looked at him with a bewildered face as he calmly held the book he didn’t even want to touch. But Estribal, with a graceful motion, held the book in one hand and flipped the pages.
“Here, it says I enjoy being beneath you. And…”
Words that didn’t fit his noble demeanor at all spewed out of his mouth like water. His refined pronunciation and calm tone seemed like he was reading poetry. Ciello couldn’t stand it and shouted.
“Duke!”
Ciello’s face turned as red as if it was about to explode. Estribal closed the book with a thud and let out a sneer.
“You were so calm, but you don’t like to hear it.”
Ciello clenched her teeth and glared at him, then shot back fiercely.
“Duke, you’re the one who’s transparent. Are you happy? Hurting me with such lies.”
“Lies.”
Estribal muttered the same words as before. Ciello answered firmly.
“Yes. They’re lies. You always hurt me and then run away.”
Estribal bit the inside of his lip. Ciello took a step closer to him.
“Duke, you’ve never…You’ve never hurt me with your true feelings. So…”
“Ask for the truth.”
Ciello nodded her head. Like rain falling from a dark cloud, tears welled up in Ciello’s ash-colored eyes.
“You really want to see the abyss.”
But Estribal closed his eyes. His sun-like golden eyes disappeared beneath his eyelids. Estribal murmured quietly.
“Ciello, you said this book is all lies.”
Estribal twisted his mouth and laughed. The thin paper under his hand crumpled weakly.
“What to do, it’s the truth to me.”
“What does that mean…”
Ciello looked at him with a confused expression. Estribal opened his mouth.
“Do you know what I think every time I see you, every time I touch you? Flowers blooming in spring, a cloudless sky?”
Estribal shook his head. A twisted smile spread across his face.
“Sadly, when I see you, I have dirty, low, and very lewd thoughts. No different from the back alley scum you mentioned.”
“No, Duke. You…”
Ciello covered her flushed face with her hand and licked her lips. Her large eyes, which had even retracted their tears in surprise, blinked as if they couldn’t believe it. But Estribal retorted sarcastically.
“How much sin have I committed with my eyes alone? This book is not enough.”
Estribal threw the book into the fireplace. The flames swallowed the thin paper and swelled up all at once. He stared at the flickering flames and spoke.
“Of course, when you’re away, my body calms down as if nothing happened. I can’t touch you with bare skin, but without you, I can’t even lust. As if I’m being punished for lust.”
As the book was completely burned, the flames began to slowly die down again. Estribal looked at the book that had turned into ashes with a dismissive gaze and muttered.
“It’s really funny. Even when you’re not there, my mind boils lewdly day and night.”
The black ash flying from the dying stove slowly settled over the silence of the two. Estribal opened his mouth quietly.
“Now you understand. I don’t hate that book because it contains false rumors. I hate it because it’s my truth.”
Estribal turned his gaze and looked straight at Ciello. What was in his eyes was a despair like a flame.
“And you, who make me so truthful, I find it hard to bear.”
Estribal turned his body. This time, even Ciello couldn’t hold him back. Estribal opened his mouth for the last time.
“So consider yourself lucky. I have a shred of reason not to pour out such dirty acts right now.”
Estribal left, and the door closed. Only heat and the smell of burning remained as traces.
****
After that day, Ciello became quiet.
She didn’t come to Estribal’s office to brag about the new etiquette she learned, nor did she excitedly drag him to the dining room because the chef promised to make a dessert today.
Unless necessary, she didn’t open the door to her room, and even when the home tutor came, she didn’t come out of her room, so all classes were also suspended.
Estribal told the servants to make sure Ciello didn’t try to run away from the mansion, but the answer that came back to him was that they were worried because she didn’t come out at all.
But Estribal thought it was fortunate that she didn’t leave the mansion, even if felt like a slap top his own cheek.
****
Time passed and the day came when he was scheduled to visit the Liberation Force’s hideout. A servant raised the collar of Estribal’s shirt and tightly tied a cravat. Estribal asked the servant.
“Is she up?”
His question was short, but since the subject he was asking about was always the same, the servant answered without difficulty.
“All preparations have been completed.”
He slightly raised his eyebrows. Ciello, who had a lot of sleep in the morning instead of at night, used to show her laziness by rolling around in the blanket pretending not to hear when the servant woke her up, and only got up rubbing her eyes when he knocked on the door himself. That was not long ago.
“…That’s unusual.”
In fact, to the servants, Ciello getting up early was not a big deal compared to Estribal’s recent behavior, but of course, the servant bowed their head politely as if it was nothing.
“Huff, huff, Duke. I apologize for my rudeness!”
Then, another servant rushed into his office. Estribal frowned at his noise. But the servant was very anxious.
“A guest has arrived.”
Estribal’s face hardened. A guest visiting without notice today, if it becomes known to the outside world that he is in contact with the first princess or the Liberation Force, it’s over.
“A guest? A magician, or an emissary of the emperor?”
But the servant shook his head.
“No, it’s not a guest for the Duke, but a guest for Miss Ciello.”
“A guest for Ciello?”
Estribal’s eyebrows twisted.
“Who is it?”
“Well, they say they are Miss Ciello’s biological parents…”
