No way. Estribal’s face contorted. Upon closer inspection, there were a few more new books of a similar kind, talking about a duke and a maid. It was not a coincidence, as words like ‘duke’ and ‘red-haired maid’ clearly reminded him of them two. His vision flickered white.
He roughly pulled out the problematic books and tucked them between other books so that their spines were not visible, then strode towards Ciello.
“Have you chosen?”
“Ah, I was deciding between a songbook and a collection of small items.”
“Why are you hesitating? Come here.”
He took both music books from Ciello’s hand and quickly approached the owner.
“Give me all of them. You, check outside to see if any suspicious people are passing by.”
He leaned on the counter with both hands to block Ciello from checking the books. Fortunately, Ciello did not notice his intention and walked out of the bookstore with her hood pulled down.
“That will be 60,000 gold.”
He casually took out money from his wallet, placed it on the counter, and without taking the change, quickly stuffed the books into a leather bag and headed towards the carriage.
The way back was not long. He exercised the utmost patience and acted as if nothing was wrong. After arriving at the mansion, Estribal said to Ciello, who was yawning in front of the bedroom.
“You look tired. Rest.”
“Huh, aren’t you staying with me today?”
Ciello rubbed her eyes and looked at him. Since she had fainted and woken up, he had been watching Ciello sleep, using Serpiente as an excuse.
“I need to organize the books. Go to bed first.”
Estribal left Ciello behind and went into the secret library in his office, pulling out a book from his bag. After all the books that could be placed in the library were organized, only thin books with nowhere to go were left on the desk. He hesitated for a while before flipping through the cheap paper with trembling hands.
[The duke grabbed the maid’s short red hair…opened her mouth…stuffed it in…]
He bit his lips until they bled. On the paper were vulgar sentences that were too embarrassing to read with his eyes.
*****
For several days after that, Estribal did not leave his room. Ciello sat at the desk, memorizing the order of cutlery, and looked out the window.
‘He must be very busy…It didn’t seem like he was going out.’
Recently, no matter how busy Estribal was, he would see Ciello’s face and greet her before going to bed. So it was quite strange that he was in the mansion but did not look for Ciello, but Ciello did not delve deep. There was not much time left for the founding ceremony preparations, and she was quite used to his whims.
“A round spoon is for consommé, a long spoon is for potage…”
Ciello muttered, covering and uncovering the usage written under the spoon picture with her hand. Then the door opened with a knock. Ciello’s face brightened.
“Duke!”
Ciello got up from her seat and approached Estribal. His face looked as if he had not slept.
“What happened again? I only heard you were busy.”
Ciello asked with a worried expression, but he did not answer and slowly entered the room. Ciello followed behind him, trying to change the atmosphere with a bright conversation.
“I’ve been preparing really hard. I’ve memorized all the new books you bought, and I passed the test…”
“Ciello.”
Estribal’s low voice cut off Ciello’s babbling.
“Sit down for a moment.”
Ciello sat down with a tense face, and Estribal sat heavily across from her.
“You’ve worked hard. However…”
Estribal took a breath and continued.
“I think it’s better for me to go to the founding ceremony alone.”
“What? Why?”
Ciello’s eyes widened.
“I clearly said I would do it then. We planned the operation, and we were going to practice soon…”
“That’s right. The mission is still yours. But attending the founding ceremony is a different matter.”
Estribal pressed and released his forehead as he spoke.
“I’ve thought about it for a long time. But it seems too early to take you to such a public event.”
“Duke!”
Ciello looked upset.
“You know how long I’ve been waiting. You even picked out a dress…”
But Estribal firmly shook his head.
“Don’t be stubborn. I’ll give you what you want another day. That day, stay with the Liberation Force until it’s time…”
“What’s the reason? You should at least tell me the reason!”
At Ciello’s shout, Estribal’s eyebrows flinched for a moment, but he soon composed his expression and calmly answered.
“I told you then. Hiding your ability is the top priority. If you ever come into contact with the emperor, everything will be ruined. We need to minimize that probability.”
“Liar. We talked about it then. You said it was okay as long as we didn’t touch directly!”
“That’s…”
At Ciello’s rebuttal, Estribal closed his mouth. Ciello quickly spoke in the gap.
“I can really do it without getting caught! I’ll wear gloves properly, and choose a long dress!”
“That’s not the problem. I’m worried that you…”
At Estribal’s sigh, Ciello’s lips trembled pitifully.
“I really practiced hard. Of course, I can’t be like real ladies, but still, going to the palace as Duke’s partner, you know how much I was looking forward to it…”
Estribal touched his forehead.
“That’s exactly it…Sigh. Let’s stop this conversation now.”
He finally closed his mouth tightly. Ciello could read a rare awkwardness and an indescribable shame on his face. Misunderstanding this, Ciello’s cheeks twisted fiercely.
“Duke, am I that embarrassing to you?”
“What?”
This time, Estribal was taken aback. Blood rushed to Ciello’s eyes, turning them bright red.
“It’s not about whether I do well or not, right? You’re just embarrassed to show me off.”
“Ciello! Don’t suddenly talk nonsense. When have I ever treated you like that?”
Despite Estribal’s stern words, Ciello didn’t back down and fired back.
“Then what’s the real reason? You said it’s a problem that I’m your partner.”
“My words didn’t mean that…”
Estribal opened and closed his lips, then touched his forehead. Nevertheless, his answer did not come out in the end. Ciello bit her trembling lips tightly and spoke.
“I know too. You’ve always been really good to me.”
Estribal sighed deeply and spoke soothingly.
“Yes. What have I ever lacked for you? Your country, which was built on the blood of your people, and the celebration of its founding, how can it be so important. So just this once…”
“Yes. What’s the founding ceremony to me, and what’s the palace? I should be grateful just for not starving and sleeping in a house with a roof.”
Ciello paused for a moment and glared at him.
“But do you know? The Duke has always been like this.”
“What did I…”
Ciello steadied her trembling voice and opened her mouth.
“Flowers blooming in spring, a sky without clouds. Praise that a back alley trash like me couldn’t even imagine. It might be funny, but even your nagging sounds nice to me, you know?”
A faint smile hung on the corner of Ciello’s mouth.
“Insults, threats, beatings. That was my daily life. You swept all that away and gave me lots of pretty and good things. Then I dream. A really cool dream. And then suddenly, deeply.”
Ciello threw the etiquette book. The luxurious hardcover rolled out on the floor.
“Dig out my heart.”
Estribal blankly stared at the book thrown on the floor. The spread pages fluttered weakly.
“I think while looking at the empty space. What did I do wrong this time? What did I say to upset you? But there’s no answer. Then suddenly, pretty things pour out again.”
Ciello lifted the corner of her mouth. Her eyes, flushed bright red, were filled with tears.
“At first, that was good too. I’m originally stupid. So I forget easily. But now…”
Thick tears fell onto the table.
“I’m scared.”
Ciello licked her soaked lips.
“I’m not originally a person who thinks about the future, I only know now. Now I keep thinking about what will happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow. So I’m scared.”
The tears she had held back for a long time poured out like rain, leaving round marks on the wooden table. Estribal blankly watched the tears soak in.
“What is this? If it was just filled with trash, I would have just held onto it and rotted to death. What is this…”
Ciello, who had been shedding tears for a while, lifted her head. Her gray gaze, which had crumbled messily, looked at him. Until now, his world had been black and white, and no color had evoked his guilt. But this gray.
“If you’re going to do this, don’t let me hope from the start. That’s the hardest part for me.”
Ciello got up from her seat and headed for the door. Estribal hastily got up and grabbed Ciello’s arm.
“Ciello!”
Ciello looked down at his gloved hand for a while. It was the glove that Ciello had worn when they practiced dancing together. But this too.
“I told you.”
Ciello forcefully shook off her hand.
“Don’t let me hope.”
Ciello ran out of the room. He looked at his empty hand with an expression that couldn’t believe it, and groaned.
“You…no, what have I done.”
Estribal staggered and barely leaned on the desk. Despite her harsh words and cold actions, she was a woman who laughed at the end, as if nothing had happened, and lightened the atmosphere herself.
Because her laughter was so dazzling, he didn’t know the shadow of disappointment behind her laughter. He also didn’t think that she could give away herself like this.
Estribal covered his face with his gloved hand and bowed his head. A fig scent that couldn’t be felt covered his face like a hallucination.
****
Ciello was in the back alley, which was her original territory, after a long time. At the end of the alley, there was a small stream. It was one of the places Ciello liked the most.
Ciello sat by the stream and watched the flowing water. The sound of money cans tied to the waist of begging children, the sound of young men reading thin pulp novels in turns. Familiar noises passed through Ciello’s ears.
Two thugs crossed the stream carelessly. Because of that, mud water splashed on Ciello’s skirt.
“Kyak!”
They were delinquents who had been reading a thin book in the corner of the alley until just now. Ciello frowned and got up from her spot.
“Hey. Don’t you look where you’re going?”
“Huh?”
The delinquents looked at Ciello with curious faces. Then one of them took a step towards Ciello.
“A precious house miss is here without fear.”
