If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Eleanor couldn’t understand why he introduced her to Jin Miles. No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t figure it out. It was natural to think that everything he said when he suddenly appeared in front of Eleanor a while ago, and this time, was all for her own sake.

 

But Eleanor couldn’t think that way. In the past, whenever Eleanor harbored any hope, Daryl always thoroughly shattered that expectation.

 

So she couldn’t even be grateful. All of this was just a burden to Eleanor. In the end, the best thing to do was to forcibly erase thoughts related to Daryl.

 

****

 

“Miss Miles visited the Townsend Manor as scheduled today. She stayed for about three hours.”

 

At Philip’s report, Daryl slowly lifted his drooping eyelids. His neat but haggard face was now permanently marked with years of fatigue and gloom, like a tattoo.

 

“Has the invitation to the exhibition been sent to Miss Miles for sure?”

 

“Yes. It has been confirmed through the royal palace.”

 

“…I see. Okay.”

 

“Are you really not going to attend, Your Grace?”

 

Daryl silently stared at a point on the opposite wall, then slowly opened his mouth.

 

“…Yes.”

 

“I understand.”

 

Philip bowed and left the office. Daryl remained motionless in his slightly reclined position even after being left alone.

 

In fact, he wanted to go to the exhibition and watch Eleanor. He was almost crazy with worry about whether Eleanor would be able to get through that day without any problems, or if she would collapse on the spot.

 

But he couldn’t go. Because Eleanor told him not to. If she found Daryl and had a seizure because of it, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. Thinking this way, he couldn’t even dare to choose to watch her secretly.

 

‘…It’ll be okay. It’ll be fine. I’ve also asked Miles to take care of her.’

 

It was clear that Eleanor dismissed Daryl’s worries that day because it came from his mouth. If the same words were heard from Miles, Eleanor would have received them differently. Miles was a successful woman painter who had established a family. There must be many things she could say that he couldn’t. Although he didn’t want to admit it, she might understand Eleanor better than he did.

 

After her divorce, Eleanor was living happily in Loud. It was the peaceful life she had always wanted. The reason he hadn’t dared to approach Eleanor for a year and a half was not only because he didn’t have the right to do so, but also because he knew that hovering around Eleanor wouldn’t be good to her.

 

For Eleanor to be happy, Daryl had to be absent. Because she hated him so much. Nevertheless, he went to see Eleanor because he was out of his mind after hearing that she would attend the exhibition as Marcus Miller. He couldn’t calm down for a moment thinking about all the dangers and difficulties Eleanor would face in the future.

 

It was a foolish act. He just confirmed how much Eleanor hated him. In the end, he made her uncomfortable again.

 

[Don’t call me. Don’t look at me like that. I can hardly bear you being in front of me now.]

 

He felt a faint pain deep in his chest. It was the dull pain he had felt occasionally over the past few months. Daryl opened the drawer, took out some medicine, and swallowed two pills without water.

 

Still, it was good to see her again. He was happy to have her in front of him for a moment, within reach. Even if he could never touch her, even if he dared not.

 

There was a knock on the door. Soon Herbert entered.

 

“…Sir. Countess Crawford is here.”

 

Daryl spoke without even looking at Herbert.

 

“Send her away.”

 

“She says she won’t leave until you see her. She did the same last time… and the time before that. I may be overstepping my bounds, but I don’t think you can keep ignoring her like this. Why don’t you have a proper conversation with her? After all… isn’t she your late father’s sister?”

 

“…..”

 

His voice was earnest. Daryl was silent for a long time, then got up from his seat.

“Guide her to the reception room.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

Herbert turned around hurriedly, as if worried that Daryl might change his mind.

 

Cecilia was sitting upright, just as Daryl remembered her. She had taken off her mourning clothes, but was wearing a dark navy velvet dress, almost black.

 

“It’s not easy to see you.”

 

“How did you get here?”

 

Daryl ignored Cecilia’s words and spoke without even sitting down. Cecilia’s face twisted in anger.

 

“How long are you going to treat me like this? I’m your aunt! Your father’s closest blood relative!”

 

“I know. That’s why I’m doing this.”

 

“……”

 

Cecilia’s eyes flashed with confusion. She bit her lip.

 

“What do you mean? Are you saying your father did something wrong to you?”

 

“…….”

 

Daryl stared at Cecilia expressionlessly.

 

“Your father was a great man. He was a perfect man as a duke and as a father. His name should not be tarnished by false rumors. Even if something happened, it’s the fault of your mother who couldn’t manage her husband properly. It’s the fault of that wretched woman who twisted Frederick!”

 

“Aunt.”

 

Daryl opened his mouth in a low voice.

 

“Do you want me to throw you out with my own hands?”

 

“…What?”

 

“If not, shut your mouth. I can’t stand to hear such nonsense from your mouth.”

 

“……”

 

Cecilia clenched her cane tightly. She was trembling with her teeth clenched. But Daryl didn’t blink an eye. His face was frozen cold, as if it had never made an expression before.

 

Suddenly, Cecilia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she slowly opened her eyes again.

 

“…I’ll forgive your outrageous words that should not be said. Because I know you’re not yourself. How can you turn away from me because of some dislike? I’m your only aunt.”

 

“……”

 

Daryl was still looking at Cecilia with a face devoid of any emotion. Cecilia swallowed the anger that was welling up.

 

After his divorce from Eleanor, Daryl was in such a bad state that it was hard to look at him. He hadn’t shown his face anywhere in the social world for a year and a half. Unless it was a business occasion that he absolutely couldn’t avoid, he had his secretary attend on his behalf. It felt like a miracle that he was at least doing his job properly.

 

The recent Daryl seemed like a lifeless person. Even now, when he was having a conversation right in front of her, she couldn’t feel any vitality from him. His gloomy eyes, devoid of any light, and his sunken cheeks, which resembled Frederick all the more, made her heart ache.

 

She wanted to blame and curse Eleanor more than she could say. But after mentioning her name last time and seeing Daryl change violently as if he was enraged, she couldn’t do that.

 

‘What on earth did that woman do to make a perfectly fine child end up like this.’

 

Anyway, she had to endure and bear it for now. The urgent task was to somehow bring Daryl back to normal. It was a task that no one but Cecilia could do. In fact, the two younger siblings below and the butler Herbert had been standing by and doing nothing for over a year.

 

‘Anyway, not a single one of them is useful…’

 

Cecilia was like a father and mother to Daryl. For the sake of the deceased Frederick and the future of the Griffith family, she had to do something.

 

“…You’re thirty this year. You should take a wife and have a successor before it’s too late.”

 

“…..”

 

Daryl turned around without answering. Cecilia got up from her seat in surprise.

 

“Wait, Daryl! You are the only son and head of this family. You should think about taking on the family with a sense of responsibility!”

 

Daryl didn’t stop. Cecilia walked with a limp, leaning on her cane, and blocked his way.

 

“Daryl! Are you really going to cut off the bloodline of the Lloyd family here!”

 

“Yes.”

 

“…What?”

 

Cecilia widened her eyes in disbelief.

 

“I’ll cut it off. It’s better to cut it off. This blood.”

 

“Daryl…!”

 

There was not even the usual sarcasm on Daryl’s face. He spoke in a low voice.

 

“I’ll make it clear so that you don’t waste your time. I will not remarry or have children.”