If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“After returning to Loud, I’m perfectly fine and even going outside. As you can see now, I even came out for a walk on my own with Molstead.”

 

“…I’m glad to see you’re…healthy. It’s a relief for me too. But when you stand in front of many people at the exhibition, there’s a possibility that a seizure like that time could happen again…”

 

“That was a long time ago. I’m fine now.”

 

“We won’t know if it’s okay or not until the day comes.”

 

“Either way, it’s the same.I dare not refuse what His Highness the Crown Prince has decided.”

 

“You can refuse if you don’t like it. I’ll do something about it.”

 

“Huh? What do you mean, Duke?”

 

“I can do it.”

 

Daryl didn’t explain any further. Eleanor looked at Daryl with a blank expression.

 

“It’s okay. You don’t need to do that.”

 

“…Eleanor.”

 

“It’s not a big deal. As an artist, it’s a hurdle I have to overcome someday. Everyone else does it, so why can’t I?”

 

“You’re…different from others.”

 

Daryl paused for a moment before speaking.

 

“Exactly what’s different, how? Because everyone sees me as the illegitimate child of the former Duke? Or because they think I’m a woman who was kicked out of the Duke’s house a year after marriage?”

 

“……”

 

Eleanor squinted her eyes. She couldn’t understand why Daryl was making such a painful expression at her words. More than that, she had said much harsher and cruel things several times. Why now, just for this much.

 

“…That’s not what I meant. Right now, you don’t have a father or a husband to protect you.”

 

“I’ve been living alone without anyone’s protection until now. I don’t understand why you’re suddenly worried about that.”

 

“When it becomes known that you are Marcus Miller, you will attract unwanted attention and interest. You won’t be able to live quietly like now.”

 

“Even so, it will be a temporary interest. It will fade after a while.”

 

“It’s not a problem that you can think of and pass by so simply. If it becomes known that you are making a lot of money, there will definitely be guys who are after that wealth. If it ends with sweet words, it would be better. Living in a small house in such a quiet suburb, what if a robber comes in?”

 

“I’ll take care of it myself, so don’t worry.”

 

“…Eleanor.”

 

“You’ve been calling me without any formality since a while ago. I’m no longer related to the Duke. There’s no reason to call me by name.”

 

“……”

 

Daryl’s eyes darkened. He lowered his gaze without saying a word.

 

“…Excuse me. Miss Townsend.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor hesitated for a moment. It was surprising and unfamiliar to see Daryl change his tone immediately at her pointed remark. She thought he would be annoyed or sarcastic.

 

Come to think of it, today wasn’t the first time Daryl had shown an unusual demeanor. He had already been like that around the time the contract marriage ended. Suddenly suggesting not to divorce, and on the day of departure, he appeared drunk from the morning and even tried to hold onto Eleanor.

 

But at that time, she didn’t even think about why he was doing that. She didn’t even want to make eye contact with Daryl. The day she had been looking forward to all year had finally come, and she just wanted to leave the Duke’s house as soon as possible.

 

According to what she heard from Marianne, Daryl had publicly stated that the reason for the divorce was his own caprice. Not that she felt particularly grateful. It wasn’t exactly a lie in the first place. Both the marriage and the divorce were initiated by him. And above all, there was no way Daryl made such an announcement out of consideration for Eleanor.

 

Eleanor felt strangely curious. Why did this man suddenly appear and act like this? He didn’t care about being treated coldly, and he was so desperate about something that had nothing to do with him.

 

“Anyway, it’s not an unfounded worry, so I hope you don’t take my words lightly. There are health issues for Miss Townsend, and considering other repercussions, it would be better to keep Marcus Miller’s identity confidential. I’ll try to persuade the Crown Prince somehow. So, Miss Townsend also…”

 

“There’s no need for that. It’s already decided.”

 

“…Miss Townsend.”

 

“Why are you trying to intervene in the first place, Duke? Whether there are repercussions from this or how my life changes, it has nothing to do with the Duke. Even if a problem arises, I’m supposed to handle and solve it all by myself.”

 

Daryl was silent for a moment, his mouth tightly shut. After repeating the act of faintly licking his lips and closing them again several times, he finally spoke in a cracked voice.

 

“…That’s not the case.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“You…I can’t leave you to be unhappy. I can’t. I have a responsibility. I’ve already ruined your life…”

 

“……”

 

Eleanor unknowingly widened her eyes and looked at Daryl. She couldn’t understand why he was saying such things.

 

“Why do you think that? Because of the divorce? I told you it didn’t matter because I never intended to get married in the first place. You knew that too.”

 

“……”

 

“Of course, it wasn’t a happy marriage in any way. But it was a contract that was accepted knowing all that, and above all, it’s a long past event. So I don’t want to blame you now. I certainly don’t think my life is ruined because of you.”

 

Daryl didn’t answer. He just bit his lip with a painful expression.

 

Eleanor sighed.

 

“It’s better to leave now.”

 

“…Miss Townsend.”

 

“Whatever you say, Duke, my decision won’t change. So don’t come looking for me like this anymore.”

 

Eleanor started Molstead by pulling the reins.

 

“Miss Townsend. Wait a moment.”

 

Daryl spoke urgently.

 

“If that’s the case, at least move. To a larger and safer mansion in the crowded city center. Or hire a guard. If you want, I’ll send a guard from the Duke’s house. They’re all veterans who’ve worked for a long time, so you can trust them.”

 

“As I said earlier, I’ll take care of it myself, so don’t worry.”

 

“Miss Townsend. Please. Just listen to me this one time. Then I won’t come looking for you like this again, or bother you. I promise. So please…”

 

At Daryl’s desperate voice, Eleanor’s eyes trembled slightly. Eleanor paused, with her back to Daryl.

 

There was no reason for Daryl to do this. It was none of his business, and there was no benefit to him from doing this. If one heard him saying this, it seemed like he was genuinely worried about Eleanor. But there’s no way. There’s absolutely no way…

 

Suddenly, memories of their past married life flooded into her mind. It was a memory she hadn’t thought of for a long time, and she thought she had completely forgotten. But that wasn’t the case. All the words Daryl had said, all the cruel treatments he had given, were still vividly left in Eleanor. At the sharp pain that seemed to scratch her heart, Eleanor unknowingly bit her lip.

 

Eleanor turned her head and looked at Daryl again.

 

“Why should I listen to your request?”

 

It was a quiet but chilling voice.

 

“You ignored my words not to see each other again and came looking for me like this. So why should I listen to your request?”

 

“…Miss Townsend.”

 

“Don’t call me.”

 

“……”

 

“Don’t look at me like that. Because it’s hard for me to even have you in front of me right now.”