If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“Are you really okay with this?”

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

“…A lot will change. You may not be able to maintain your current lifestyle.”

 

“If it’s just about meeting the Crown Prince, you can’t necessarily say that. He might keep the secret if I ask him.”

 

“…..”

 

Despite Eleanor’s words, Benjamin still looked displeased.

 

“I’ve been prepared for this for years. If I continue to become famous like this, I thought there might come a day when my identity would be revealed. I was the one who first wrote to Viscount Brooke wanting to sell my paintings. It’s only right that I take responsibility for what I started.”

 

If it weren’t for Benjamin, Eleanor wouldn’t have been able to stand on her own as she does now. She didn’t want to burden him any further, nor did she want to cause him any trouble because of her.

 

“You don’t have to decide right here and now. You can take a few days to think it over.”

 

“Thank you. But my decision won’t change.”

 

Her voice was calm but firm. Benjamin lowered his gaze in silence.

 

“…Understood. If you ever change your mind, feel free to contact me.”

 

“Yes. Thank you, Viscount Brooke.”

 

****

 

A few days later, Eleanor entered the palace with Benjamin. Benjamin had already informed Crown Prince Aaron that Eleanor was Marcus Miller. Nevertheless, upon meeting face-to-face, Crown Prince Aaron couldn’t hide his surprise.

 

“This is unbelievable. So the real identity of Marcus Miller is such a young and beautiful woman?”

 

“Yes, Your Highness. I apologize for having kept the truth from you all this time, even though it was not my intention.”

 

Eleanor bowed her head as she spoke. Aaron stroked his chin, still looking skeptical. “When and where did you learn to paint?”

 

According to imperial law, women were not allowed to enroll in the Imperial Art Academy. Of course, that didn’t mean there were no female painters, but they were a very small minority compared to male painters.

 

“When I was young, the late Duke of Griffith was kind enough to provide me with a private tutor. I learned painting from him for about three years, and after that, I painted on my own.”

 

“…What is the name of that tutor?”

 

“His name is Hendricks Watson. I believe he also taught the current Duke of Griffith and his siblings in the past.”

 

All of this was true. Even if the Crown Prince were to summon Watson and ask him the same questions, he would surely receive the same answers.

 

“Could you perhaps draw a picture for me right here?”

 

At the Crown Prince’s words, Benjamin looked slightly taken aback. Judging by his reaction, it seemed this was not something the Crown Prince had warned him about in advance.

 

“I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I’m just a cautious person.”

 

“I will do as you command.”

 

When Aaron flicked his finger, the servants brought an easel, canvas, and a full set of drawing tools. Both watercolors and oil paints were available. It seemed they had prepared in anticipation of this request.

 

“Could you prepare an apron for me?”

 

At Eleanor’s request, a servant brought what looked like a maid’s apron. Eleanor put on the apron and tied up her long, loose hair. Aaron watched her with a look of curiosity.

 

“Why don’t you try drawing me?”

 

At Aaron’s words, Eleanor hesitated slightly.

 

“I’m sorry to say this, but I lack experience in drawing portraits… I’m worried whether it would be appropriate to dare to capture Your Highness’s visage on canvas with my humble skills.”

 

“What modest words from the best painter of our time. Today, I just want to confirm that you are indeed Marcus Miller, so you don’t need to be so nervous or hesitant. You don’t even have to finish it, just draw comfortably.”

 

“…If you say so, Your Highness, then I will dare to try.”

 

Eleanor bowed her head and picked up a pencil. Her expression became serious in an instant, and a sparkle appeared in her calm eyes. Aaron watched her with an interested smile.

 

Having always painted alone, this was her first time demonstrating her skills in front of the Crown Prince. Despite the unfamiliar location and tools, there was no sign of nervousness or difficulty. Eleanor seemed to have forgotten all of that, appearing to be completely focused on her painting.

 

Overwhelmed by Eleanor, everyone else in the room held their breath. In the silence, only the sound of the pencil scratching echoed.

 

How much time had passed? Eleanor’s hand, which had been moving the brush without rest, suddenly stopped. She took a step back and looked at the painting. Then she wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.

 

“Is it done?”

 

“Yes. I can’t say it’s complete, but I think it’s somewhat finished.”

 

Aaron rose from his seat and walked behind the canvas. Looking at the painting, a smile slowly spread across his face.

 

Among the works of Marcus Miller that have been released so far, there were no portraits. However, Aaron prided himself on being a top fan of Miller. The painting clearly showed Miller’s unique detailed depiction, the way the colors were used, and the overall style.

 

Usually, portraits of the royal family were often painted more grandly and beautifully than in reality. However, the Aaron that Eleanor drew reflected Miller’s unique unadorned and simple perspective. Nevertheless, it was a vivid painting that didn’t feel unpleasant at all.

 

Although it was a picture drawn lightly in a short time, it was an emotional feeling just by the fact that Miller had drawn his portrait.

 

“It’s amazing. Really amazing. I knew it, but your skills are truly remarkable.”

 

Aaron kept exclaiming in admiration. Eleanor put one hand on her chest and bowed her head. “Your Highness.”

 

“Now there’s no room for doubt. You really were Marcus Miller.”

 

Aaron said with a hearty laugh.

 

“Can I have this picture?”

 

At his words, Eleanor looked slightly embarrassed.

 

“I’m sorry to say this, but it’s a picture that was hastily drawn on the spot… I think it’s an inadequate picture to dare to present to Your Highness.”

 

“What are you talking about? It’s such a neat and excellent work. Rather, it feels more special because it’s a bit raw and impromptu compared to other works. I won’t ask for it for free, so hand it over to me. It’s my portrait, isn’t it?”

 

“…If Your Highness says so, I understand.”

 

Aaron nodded with a satisfied face.

 

“I really enjoyed it. It’s too precious to see alone.……Ah. I had a good idea. How about demonstrating the same work at the exhibition? If you see it in front of you, no one will be able to doubt that you are Marcus Miller. It will be a hundred times more effective than my guarantee.”

 

At Aaron’s words, both Eleanor and Benjamin looked surprised at the same time. Benjamin stepped forward and spoke.

 

“Your Highness. As I mentioned before, attending the exhibition is a bit….”

 

“Why? Is it still difficult to reveal your identity? But it’s a shame to have such a shining talent. Moreover, if it is revealed that Marcus Miller was such a young and beautiful lady, it will be a hot topic. For a few months, the whole capital will be talking about this.”

 

“Miss Townsend wants to avoid that situation. She has suffered enough from irresponsible rumors for a long time. I hope that only Your Highness knows the identity of Marcus Miller. I dare to ask for this.”

 

Benjamin bowed his head deeply. Aaron looked at Benjamin and Eleanor alternately with one eye narrowed.

 

“Of course, I’m not unaware of Miss Townsend’s situation. It hasn’t been long since she had a  divorce with the Duke of Griffith. But my thoughts are opposite to yours, Benjamin. Rather, I think you should come forward and reveal your identity in this situation.”

 

“… Why is that…”

 

“People spread false rumors because Miss Townsend is hiding herself from the world. People usually can’t say anything in front of someone who stands up confidently. Trust me. If Miss Townsend reveals that she is Marcus Miller, everyone will see her differently. Isn’t it wealth and honor that she has earned entirely on her own, even though she is a woman? Then no one can talk about Miss Townsend carelessly.”

 

“..…”

 

Because it was not an entirely unconvincing argument, Benjamin had to keep his mouth shut. However, Eleanor thought differently.