If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“A few days ago, a letter came from the Duke. He said that Miss seemed to be feeling lonely these days and it would be nice if I could come to the Duke’s house. Not just for a day or two, but he asked me to stay there in the future.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor’s face slightly darkened.

 

“You’ve had a hard time. Don’t worry about anything now. Because I’ll always be with you.”

 

Peggy gave strength to the hand she held with Eleanor. Eleanor kept her mouth shut and said nothing.

 

“Miss? What’s wrong?”

 

Peggy asked, noticing Eleanor’s mood.

 

“Oh, I see, I should call you Madam now.”

 

“No, there’s no need. After all, there’s not much time left.”

 

Eleanor’s voice was firm, almost cold.

 

“…Miss?”

 

Seeing Peggy’s worried expression, Eleanor quickly smiled.

 

“I’m sorry, Peggy, but can you wait here for a moment? I’ll have a little talk with the Duke and come back.”

 

“Miss.”

 

“Don’t worry. You must be tired from coming all the way here, so rest comfortably. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to tell Emily.”

 

After giving a faint smile, Eleanor stood up from her seat. Peggy sat awkwardly with a worried expression.

 

****

 

When Daryl heard that Eleanor had asked to see him, he thought the maid must have already arrived. He could feel his body stiffening with tension. Darryl anxiously wrung his hands.

 

Soon, Eleanor entered the office.

 

“I heard you called for Peggy.”

 

She went straight to the point without any greetings. As always, she avoided eye contact with Daryl, looking away ambiguously.

 

“Why did you decide on your own, without discussing it with me first?””

 

“……”

 

Eleanor’s words were critical from the start. Of course, he didn’t expect her to react with pure joy. But at least he thought she would be grateful to him in her heart, not questioning him from the first word.

 

He involuntarily grimaced at the indescribable disappointment.

 

“…Did I do something I shouldn’t?”

 

“Peggy is my maid. She’s not a person of this Duke’s house. Naturally, the decision about her treatment is up to me.”

 

“Do you think I don’t know that?”

 

His voice jumped out without knowing it. Feeling unjust and how resentful Eleanor was.

 

Seeing Eleanor’s mouth tightly closed, Daryl belatedly regretted it. He struggled to control his boiling insides.

 

“…I didn’t call her out of personal greed. It’s all for you. I know you care about that maid personally. I thought your mood would improve if you kept her by your side, so I called her back. That’s all.”

 

Daryl spoke gruffly, looking down. But Eleanor still said nothing. Darryl cautiously raised his head and looked at Eleanor.

 

Before he knew it, Eleanor was looking straight at Darryl’s face. Her light blue eyes were filled with vivid anger, and a few wrinkles on her forehead were faintly twitching. Darryl was surprised to see that her always smooth and transparent face could make such an expression.

 

“Do you really think that’s for me? Do you really think so?”

 

“…..”

 

Her voice was deep with anger, enough to be considered brave for not raising her voice. Daryl was overwhelmed by Eleanor and lost his words.

 

“If you were thinking of me, Peggy should not have been driven away in the first place. Peggy was a maid I brought from my home with your permission. She’s not just a maid to me, she’s a precious person like no other. Such Peggy was driven away on the very day by the word of the head maid. Even after sending her back on your own without even asking me for a word, you informed me later. You knew all about it, didn’t you? But you kept pretending you didn’t know, didn’t you? And now, after a long time, you call Peggy back at your own will, and you say it’s for me? How on earth is that considering me?”

 

“…….”

 

“You should have been faster if you were thinking of me. And you should have consulted with me first. Whether it’s okay to bring Peggy back, whether it’s really what I want. If you really thought of me, even a little bit―”

 

Eleanor stopped speaking and swallowed her breath. Daryl blankly watched her slender shoulders trembling.

 

“…You should have kept your promise that day.”

 

“……”

 

Daryl couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t.

 

Eleanor sighed lightly. Seeing her hunch over with her hand on her chest, Darryl’s face changed.

 

“…Eleanor. It’s okay…”

 

“I’m going to send Peggy back to the road.”

 

Eleanor raised her head and spoke again. Her face was somewhat pale, but her eyes were still clear and strong.

 

Daryl wet his dry mouth with saliva.

 

“…Do you really have to? There’s no need to be stubborn because of me. Even for you, being with that maid…”

 

“The head maid said she couldn’t accept Peggy as a servant of the Duke’s house. If I forcibly call Peggy back. She almost openly said she would bully her together with the other servants.”

 

“……”

 

Anger surged anew. How dare that woman, not knowing her place.

 

As Eleanor said, Daryl had known for a long time that the head maid had driven Peggy away at the behest of Layla. So he had no right to be angry with her now. Even though he knew, he couldn’t accept it.

 

“I’ll fire the head maid today.”

 

Daryl opened his mouth in a heavy voice.

 

“I’ll make sure the other servants can’t dare to do such a thing. So you don’t worry and…”

 

“No, there’s no need. Don’t do that.”

 

Eleanor drew a firm line before Daryl finished speaking.

 

“I don’t want to cause trouble over something that ended a long time ago. I’m tired of harboring unwanted resentment from people. Besides, I’m the one who’s going to leave this house soon. There’s only two months left, and I don’t want to make Peggy’s life uncomfortable because of my selfishness.”

 

“……”

 

Why is it? Even though Daryl knew it for sure, when he heard it, he felt his heart sink. Eleanor continued with a cold face.

 

“I have one more thing to say. Your action of bringing Peggy without consulting me is a clear breach of contract. I said I wouldn’t let it go again, so I’ll make sure to count this when I settle the contract in two months. In fact, I don’t want to take money from you, but there’s no other way.”

 

“……”

 

More than the last words full of contempt, other words filled Daryl’s mind at that moment.

 

Two months later. Contract settlement. Daryl realized how long Eleanor had been waiting for that day.

 

Eleanor turned around and left the office. She didn’t even bend her waist to Daryl, just like when she came in.

 

Daryl couldn’t even breathe properly, crushed by an inexplicable strange emotion. He reached out with his trembling hand and took out a bottle of alcohol from the cabinet. But he couldn’t even open the lid and knocked over the bottle. The glass whiskey bottle rolled around on the desk.

 

Two months. There were only two months left.

 

[It’s enough if it’s a formal marriage. Just maintain a marital relationship with me for one year. After that, we’ll proceed with the divorce immediately.]

 

Last fall, it was Daryl himself who made such a proposal to Eleanor. But now he was desperately realizing.

 

Darryl didn’t want a divorce.

 

He didn’t want to let Eleanor go.

 

But that was too late a realization, and a wish that could never be fulfilled.

 

****

 

Peggy initially tried not to listen to Eleanor’s words. No matter what she said, she insisted that she would stay by her side. But in the end, Eleanor’s stubbornness won. As always.

 

“Are you really okay, Miss?”

 

Peggy still seemed hesitant, with the carriage in front of her.

 

“Of course. It’s only two months now. The time I’ve endured so far is so long, this will pass in the blink of an eye.”

 

“…Might be for the Miss, but not for me.”

 

At Peggy’s mumble, Eleanor faintly smiled. She pulled Peggy into her arms.

 

“Promise, Peggy. I’ll be back soon. It’s really soon now…”

 

“……”

 

Peggy hugged Eleanor tightly without saying a word.

 

“Then I’ll go, Miss. You have to take care of your health. I’ll write to you as soon as I arrive.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Eleanor hesitated for a moment, unable to let go of Peggy’s hand.

 

“What’s wrong, Miss?”

 

“……”

 

Eleanor kept her mouth shut for a while, then asked in a weak voice.

 

“…Did you take good care of my mother on my stead?”

 

At that, Peggy’s eyes reddened. She sniffled softly and nodded her head.

 

“Of course. Why not? I took good care of the Madam. So don’t worry.”

 

“…Thank you so much, Peggy.”

 

Peggy wiped away her tears and smiled with her mouth wide open.

 

“See you soon, Miss.”

 

A moment later, the carriage carrying Peggy left in front of Eleanor. Even after the carriage left the Duke’s front gate and completely disappeared from sight, Eleanor stood in the same place for a long time.