If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

If it was going to be like this, she should have gone alone from the start. She never asked to go together in the first place. Daryl must have known all day that she was just waiting for him to come back. Was it so hard to send a message saying he couldn’t come, so go alone?

 

Of course, there was the option of leaving alone without waiting for Daryl. The reason she didn’t do that was because she didn’t think he wouldn’t come back until dusk. She thought he would come home by lunch in the morning, and thought they’d surely return in the mid-afternoon after going out in the afternoon.

 

In fact, she was considering the worst-case scenario until just now. What if something big happened. What if there really was an unavoidable situation. If he had an accident and was seriously injured, Eleanor should not have left the mansion.

 

But in the end, Daryl betrayed her.

 

Maybe he completely forgot about the promise itself. Surely that was it. Then he remembered when he just heard it from Herbert.

 

Now she hates it. It was really disgusting. She didn’t want to talk to him for the rest of her life.

 

“Eleanor. Are you okay? Do you think you’re going to have another attack? Just wait a moment. I’ll call Hardy right now…”

 

“……I don’t need it.”

 

It was a low, suppressed voice that was barely audible. Daryl stiffened his lips.

 

“Eleanor. I understand that you’re angry with me. But first of all, your body is the priority…”

 

At that, Eleanor sighed as if it was ridiculous.

 

“My body is the priority? If you were so worried about me, you shouldn’t have created this situation in the first place. Isn’t it?”

 

“……”

 

There was nothing to say to the sharp sarcasm. Eleanor left Daryl standing still and crawled into bed.

 

“……Eleanor. At least get a check-up before you go to bed. Then I won’t bother you anymore.”

 

Eleanor’s weak and panting breath was heard. Daryl gritted his teeth. He felt like he was going crazy with guilt and frustration.

 

“Eleanor. Please.”

 

Then it seemed like Eleanor muttered something softly. Daryl hesitated and approached her. “What did you just say?”

 

“……Get out.”

 

It was a frail voice, as if she had barely managed to spit it out.

 

“……”

 

“Get out. Leave me alone. If you’re so worried about my body…please.”

 

“……”

 

The strength slowly drained from his tightly clenched fist. Daryl quietly turned around and left Eleanor’s bedroom.

 

****

 

After that, rumors about that day spread wildly in the Duke’s house. The story was that the Duke had forgotten the promise to go out together on the anniversary of the Duchess’s mother’s death, and the Duke had returned home drunk late at night. Everyone unanimously criticized the master. Even the servants who had been prejudiced and repulsive towards Eleanor could not help but sympathize with her this time.

 

Naturally, the news reached Layla. Layla went to find Daryl and poured out a barrage of criticism. Daryl, too, was acutely aware of his mistake this time, so he accepted her condemnation without a word of excuse.

 

Herbert, who had been restraining himself lately, seemed unable to bear it anymore. He joined Layla in pouring out his anger, and eventually, his patience reached its limit. Daryl angrily drove them away.

 

In fact, the most painful person was Daryl himself. It was unbearable because it was unfair. If it hadn’t been for Esmeralda’s threat, no, if the Crown Prince hadn’t held him back in the first place, things would never have turned out this way. It felt like the whole world was out to get him.

 

Now Eleanor didn’t even want to see Daryl’s face. She completely stopped seeing Daryl off in the morning and coming to greet him in the evening. As a result, they didn’t even run into each other even though they lived in the same mansion. Unless he deliberately asked Herbert to check, there was no way to know if she was eating properly or if she was having another attack.

 

Breathing itself was like sitting on a bed of nails. Daryl couldn’t think of a way to overcome this crisis on his own.

 

Herbert, who always nagged but was always on Daryl’s side, didn’t even show the will to mediate this time. And he couldn’t ask Layla for help either. She, too, was openly ignoring Daryl, just like Eleanor.

 

Day by day, his heart was burning. He didn’t show it to others, but Daryl’s inside was already a mess.

 

****

 

The month changed again. The eternal bright sunshine and the greenery of the plants faded, and now it was autumn.

 

Daryl was staring blankly at the documents on his desk when Philip came in. After finishing the business reports in order of importance, he added this at the end.

 

“A letter has arrived for the Duchess from Townsend Manor. Would you like to check it?”

 

After the marriage, all letters coming to Eleanor were first censored by Daryl through Philip.

 

“……Is it from that maid again?”

 

“Yes. It is.”

 

“Then it’s fine. Just hand it over.”

 

“Understood.”

 

Eleanor was regularly exchanging letters with a maid from her parental home. At first, he skimmed the contents in consideration of his relationship with Benjamin, but now he knew that it was meaningless and hadn’t read it for a long time.

 

Philip was about to leave the office with a nod. Then, a thought flashed through Daryl’s mind.

 

“……Wait. What was the name of that maid?”

 

“Peggy Miller.”

 

If Daryl’s memory was correct, Peggy was the maid Eleanor first brought to Chatsworth House. But Layla had immediately fired her that very day.

 

According to the contents of the letters he had checked before, the maid named Peggy seemed to be quite special to Eleanor. Sometimes, the children of nobles have more than necessary affection for the nanny who took care of them, and it was very similar to that.

 

Daryl was lost in thought for a while without saying a word. Philip waited patiently. Eventually, Daryl began to scribble something on a piece of paper.

 

Daryl folded the paper in half and handed it to Philip. His eyes seemed to have regained their vitality for the first time in months.

 

“Send this letter to Townsend Manor.”

 

****

 

Eleanor was sitting blankly in her room that day as well. Recently, she rarely went to the library and visited Molstead less frequently. Even when she did go, she always hurried back. It was because she was afraid she might run into Daryl if he returned to the mansion during the day.

 

She hated even brushing past Daryl that much. Even when she was alone, she consciously tried to block out thoughts about him. Eleanor was waiting for the day this marriage would end more desperately than ever before.

 

It was now September. In just two months, she could be freed from all this pain. It had already been 11 months since she came to Chatsworth House. Considering the time she had endured so far, two months was nothing. It should have been.

 

Then there was a knock on the door.

 

“Madam. It’s Emily.”

 

“Come in.”

 

As she casually turned to look at the opened door, Eleanor’s eyes widened in surprise. Behind Emily was a person she never expected to see.

 

“Miss!”

 

It was Peggy. Peggy rushed over with a look of joy. As Eleanor hurriedly got up, Peggy hugged her tightly. The familiar touch and scent made her eyes well up with tears.

 

“Miss, have you been well? My goodness, you’ve lost so much weight…”

 

Peggy said, her eyes welling up with tears. Eleanor was still in a daze. She couldn’t believe that Peggy was standing in front of her, so she looked her up and down, and then again. When she unconsciously stroked Peggy’s cheek, Peggy tightly held her hand.

 

“Peggy. How on earth did you…”

 

“Miss, I missed you so I came. Have you been well? Are you not sick anywhere?”

 

“I’m fine…I’m fine.”

 

Peggy? She was about to ask, but suddenly she started crying. As Eleanor bowed her head slightly and let her tears fall, Peggy’s eyes filled with sorrow.

 

“Miss, why are you crying? Don’t cry, okay?”

 

Peggy quickly took out a handkerchief and wiped Eleanor’s tears. Despite being told not to cry, Eleanor couldn’t stop her tears. Eventually, she began to sob in Peggy’s broad embrace.

 

Emily, who had been watching from behind, also had tears welling up in her eyes. This was the first time Eleanor had cried in the nearly one year of all that persecution.

 

Suddenly, a terrible sense of guilt tore at Emily’s heart. Emily wiped her eyes with her apron and quietly closed the door and left.

 

After a while, a calmer Eleanor sat side by side with Peggy on the sofa. They were still holding hands tightly.

 

“Peggy. How did you get here? Did you… get permission from the Duke?”

 

“Don’t worry, Miss. I didn’t come here on my own. The Duke called me first.”

 

“……What?”

 

Eleanor asked, her eyes wide open.