If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Daryl woke up with a furrowed brow. He felt nauseous and his head seemed about to explode. The surroundings were very dark, with only one candle illuminating the room. Daryl instinctively reached for the handbell on the bedside table, but there was nothing where the table should have been.

 

Then he realized. This was not Daryl’s bedroom.

 

Suppressing a groan, Daryl got out of bed and picked up the candlestick. Then he found and opened the door.

 

“Are you awake now?”

 

As he stepped out of the bedroom, he saw Esmeralda sitting on the sofa in her robe. Recognizing the familiar layout, Daryl realized that he was in Esmeralda’s residence.

 

“…Why am I here?”

 

Daryl asked in a hoarse voice. Just uttering a single sentence made his head throb.

 

“Oh, don’t you remember?”

 

Esmeralda widened her eyes as if pretending to be surprised.

 

“…..”

 

Daryl frowned as he tried to recall. He remembered sitting across from Esmeralda in Crown Prince Aaron’s inner chamber, drinking. He seemed to have kept drinking because he didn’t want to respond to her friendly remarks. But he couldn’t remember anything after that.

 

“Answer me. Why am I here?”

 

“You were so drunk that you were unconscious. It seemed like you wouldn’t be able to go home, so I brought you here.”

 

“…Don’t make up stories. I wouldn’t have been that drunk.”

 

Daryl had never lost consciousness from drinking. Recently, he had often fallen asleep at home after drinking alone, but it was a completely different matter outside.

 

“But it’s true. You can’t remember anything right now.”

 

“What did you give me?”

 

At Daryl’s words, Esmeralda frowned.

 

“What?”

 

“Tell me honestly. What trick did you use to bring me here? What did you do while I was asleep?”

 

Esmeralda stared at Daryl with an incredulous expression.

 

“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything to you either.”

 

“Stop lying.”

 

“I’m not lying. You just drank too much. It’s a common occurrence for ordinary people.”

 

Just as he was about to scold her again, Esmeralda cut him off.

 

“Shouldn’t you go? You said you had an important appointment.”

 

Daryl’s eyes were blurry and shaking.

 

“…How do you know that?”

 

“You said it yourself. Don’t you remember? You kept saying you had to go home right away.”

 

“……”

 

Daryl’s expression hardened. He quickly searched his pocket for his pocket watch. Checking the time, it was just past 8 o’clock. If he returned to the mansion right now, he wouldn’t be too late.

 

Daryl returned to the bedroom and picked up his discarded coat and hat. He ran straight to the front door and flung it open, but it was strange. The outside was still pitch black.

 

“…Why hasn’t the sun risen yet?”

 

“What? What did you say?”

 

Esmeralda asked in response to his mumbling.

 

“It’s past 8 o’clock. Why is it still dark outside?”

 

Daryl turned to ask Esmeralda. Esmeralda looked surprised for a moment, then burst into laughter.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“It’s 8 o’clock in the evening, not morning. You’ve been asleep for twelve hours straight. You wouldn’t wake up no matter how much I tried. You must have been very tired.”

 

“…..”

 

At her words, he felt like his vision was spinning.

 

“Are you okay, Duke?”

 

Daryl leaned against the door and hung his head for a moment. After a while, he gritted his teeth, lifted his head, and staggered out.

 

Esmeralda slowly walked towards the entrance and watched Daryl’s retreating figure.

 

It wasn’t planned from the beginning. She had been feeling a bit under the weather for a few days and happened to have some cold medicine she had been prescribed. It wasn’t a very strong medicine, but she was confident it would be enough to put Daryl to sleep. No matter how strong a drinker Daryl was, he had already drunk quite a lot, and it was clear from the bags under his eyes that he hadn’t been sleeping well recently.

 

[Why are you so restless when it’s not even late yet? Do you have a date with the Duchess tomorrow?]

 

Daryl didn’t answer, but Esmeralda didn’t miss the complex emotions reflected in his eyes at that moment. Seeing that, a wave of dark emotions washed over her. When she came to her senses, she had taken out the cold medicine from her pocket.

 

Esmeralda gave a bitter smile. Even though things had gone according to her plan, she felt utterly empty.

 

Until just yesterday, Esmeralda was satisfied with her life. Despite her humble status, she believed she had a splendor that no noblewoman could envy, and she lived a free and autonomous life that they could never enjoy. But even that pride was no longer hers. She had thrown it away herself.

 

Esmeralda turned quietly and closed the door.

 

****

 

Daryl rushed into the mansion after getting off the carriage. Eleanor was nowhere to be seen among the servants who came out to greet him.

 

“Where is Eleanor?”

 

“Master, what’s going on?”

 

Herbert had a more serious expression than ever before.

 

“Tell me. Where is Eleanor? Did she go out alone? Hasn’t she come back yet?”

 

“…”

 

Herbert stared at Daryl without saying a word, then lowered his eyes.

 

“…Madam is in her room. She’s been there since this morning.”

 

“……”

 

A faint groan escaped Daryl’s lips. He staggered up the spiral staircase as if he were about to fall.

 

Daryl opened the door to the Hibiscus Room without knocking. Because only a minimum amount of candles were lit, he could barely see Eleanor sitting still in the dimly lit room.

 

Even though Daryl was standing in front of her, Eleanor didn’t turn to look at him. She was dressed in her outdoor clothes, and even a wide-brimmed hat was prepared on the table, as if she was ready to leave at any time when Daryl arrived.

 

“…..”

 

He couldn’t even speak. Daryl just stood there, staring at Eleanor’s expressionless face.

 

After a while, Eleanor slowly got up from her seat. And still, she didn’t even glance at Daryl as she moved towards the bedroom.

 

“…Eleanor, wait.”

 

Daryl called out urgently, but Eleanor didn’t stop. In the end, Daryl followed her into the bedroom.

 

“Just listen to me for a moment. There’s a reason for everything.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor acted as if she was completely ignoring Daryl’s presence. She opened the closet and took off her coat.

 

“…I didn’t purposely come late. I couldn’t help it. The party last night ended so late… I was definitely trying to get home as fast as I could, but His Highness the Crown Prince held me back, so I couldn’t help it…”

 

He knew that the excuse he was making wasn’t worth a grain of salt. It was an excuse that should have at least gotten him home by morning.

 

But he couldn’t dare to tell the truth. That he was blackmailed by his woman from a past relationship and was held until now. That he was sleeping in her bed until just now, how could he say that.

 

“…”

 

But Eleanor didn’t even respond to Daryl’s words. It was doubtful whether his words were even reaching her ears in the first place.

 

“Eleanor, just a moment… Can’t you look at me?”

 

Daryl said in a hoarse voice. Eleanor took off her necklace and earrings and put them in the jewelry box, then undid her hair herself. At the sight of her tempting hair waving, Daryl unconsciously swallowed his saliva.

 

“…Eleanor.”

 

Eleanor ignored Daryl and walked to the bed. The moment Eleanor lifted the blanket to lie down, Daryl hurriedly ran over and grabbed her wrist.

 

“Just look at me for a moment! Can’t you hear me?”

 

Was it because he put too much strength into it unintentionally, or was Eleanor just too light? He just wanted to turn her around, but she fell into Daryl’s arms too easily.

 

“No!”

 

It was the moment Eleanor fell into Daryl’s chest. A sharp sound burst from her mouth. It was a passionate reaction that was hard to believe came from Eleanor.

 

Elinor pushed Daryl away with all her might. It was a ridiculously weak force compared to his But Daryl couldn’t dare to resist and backed away.

 

Eleanor was crouching down, biting her lips.

 

She didn’t want to hear any excuses in the first place. What does it matter what the reason was? The fact that Daryl broke his promise with Eleanor wouldn’t change even if he made excuses. He clearly knew it was the anniversary of her mother’s death. She had begged so desperately that it was the last time, there would be no more.

 

The smell of strong alcohol was more disgusting than the smell of a woman’s perfume that was all over Daryl’s shirt. There was no clearer evidence of what he had been doing since last night.

 

She shivered with a physiological sense of disgust. She didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to know, so why did he keep making her smell this scent? Why, really.

 

Comment

  1. Addy says:

    Just say you were drugged and taken advantage of lol

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