If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Daryl stared at Esmeralda with narrowed eyes.

 

“It seems you’re not afraid because you’ve caught the Emperor’s eye.”

 

“That could be, or it could not be.”

 

“Unfortunately, there are countless women who have worn the emperor’s ring. And all of them were discarded not long after. Even if you’re lucky enough to bear the seed of the royal family, you should give up the expectation of being recognized. Especially if you’re of low status like you.”

 

Daryl spat out harsh words in a cold voice. Esmeralda laughed as if it was absurd.

 

“You’re still the same.”

 

“Why should I change?”

 

“I heard that the Duke bought a huge amount of art for his wife and even built a private exhibition hall in the Duke’s house.”

 

At Esmeralda’s words, Daryl’s face hardened faintly.

 

“The you I know would never do that. So it’s not without basis.”

 

“……”

 

“Looking at your expression, it seems the rumor that you fell hard for your wife is not false.”

 

Esmeralda laughed lazily like a cat that had just woken up from sleep.

 

“Is your badly bruised face also related to your wife?” (TL: perhaps badly contorted, twisted, because Daryl doesn’t have a bruised face)

 

“…Shut up.”

 

“Really? How did our Duke end up like this? You can’t even manage your expression at such a simple provocation…”

 

“……”

 

“I wonder what kind of charm the Duchess has to have made you like this. I’d like to have a conversation with her if I get a chance.”

 

At those words, Daryl’s eyes flashed.

 

“Dare to approach my wife and say something useless.”

 

“What kind of useless talk? That you and I have been in a secret relationship for over 3 years? That you frequently visited my place even after you married the Duchess? That once you knocked me down on the bed, you didn’t let go until my throat was sore and my body was covered in bruises?”

 

“…You.”

 

“I like that look in your eyes. It reminds me of the old days.”

 

Esmeralda gave a strange smile.

 

Although she was laughing on the outside, she was extremely uncomfortable on the inside. This was the first time she had seen Daryl lose his composure and shake so much.

 

At first, it was just a tease. Despite all the time they spent together, Daryl didn’t pay any attention to her, so she threw a light provocation at him out of spite. But seeing him turn pale at the mention of his wife, a flame of jealousy ignited in Esmeralda’s heart, a feeling she hadn’t been aware of.

 

On the day of the performance at the palace, Esmeralda saw the Duchess sitting next to Daryl. As she had heard, the Duchess was indeed a beauty. A noblewoman who looked modest and serene, as if she were a painting.

 

That day, the Duchess seemed to quickly notice the glances exchanged between Daryl and Esmeralda. Seeing her pale complexion turn even paler, Esmeralda was soaked in a low sense of victory.

 

In fact, it was not a victory at all. After all, the one who sat next to Daryl at that moment was not her, but the Duchess. Esmeralda was now in a position where she was no longer allowed to stay by his side.

 

But she could still find comfort. She could deceive herself that it was okay. Because she knew that they were a couple bound by contract. Because she knew that in less than half a year, the Duchess would no longer be the Duchess, nor Daryl’s woman.

 

But today, the belief that had been supporting her all this time collapsed in an instant.

 

Today, Esmeralda was wearing the necklace that Daryl had given her. But Daryl seemed oblivious to that fact.

 

“…You’d better behave yourself. If you don’t want to be kicked out of this place the moment the Emperor’s favor ends.”

 

Esmeralda knew very well that it was not an empty threat. Daryl had more than enough power to do so, and he was not a man to show mercy to a woman he had once been intimate with.

 

“Retirement wouldn’t be so bad then.”

 

“What?”

 

“After all, it’s not a long-lasting job. You can find another suitable sponsor and settle down, or you can go back to the countryside where your mother lives.”

 

“……”

 

Daryl stared at Esmeralda with a hardened mouth.

 

“What do you want?”

 

Esmeralda gave a bitter smile. This man was always like this. Just as he had married his wife through a contract, he saw his relationship with Esmeralda strictly as a transaction. Even now, he thinks she must have some calculation for acting like this.

 

There was no calculation. She didn’t want anything from Daryl. After all, he would never give her what she wanted.

 

“Don’t go.”

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t leave just yet, stay with me a little longer.”

 

Daryl had been looking for a chance to leave ever since he arrived here today. He didn’t even deny it when Aaron teased him, saying, ‘Do you want to go home to your wife so soon?’ That was Daryl, who was rumored to be a cold-blooded man without emotions.

 

Seeing him like that, a heavy and sticky emotion welled up in her heart. She didn’t want to let Daryl go. She wanted to hold onto him a little longer, hoping that the Duchess would suffer more during that time. She wished that the Duchess would burn with jealousy imagining them together. Just like Esmeralda.

 

“…Are you telling me to lay a hand on the emperor’s woman?”

 

Esmeralda laughed softly.

 

“You seem to be misunderstanding something. I’m not in that kind of relationship with His Majesty the Emperor. I’ve performed at the palace a few more times since then and received gifts, but that’s it. Nothing more happened.”

 

“..…”

 

It was hard to believe. Daryl had never known the emperor to bestow such favors on a woman with pure intentions.

 

“I’m only telling you this, but actually, I was asked by His Highness the Crown Prince. He asked me not to respond even if I received such a call from His Majesty the Emperor. Instead, he said he would introduce me to other powerful families. That’s why I was invited here today.”

 

“..…”

 

When he heard that, something clicked. It was a rumor that had been circulating in the capital recently. Everyone was hushing it up because it was such a terrible and sensitive story, but hearing Esmeralda’s words, it seemed like it might be true.

 

A month ago, the granddaughter-in-law of Viscount Baker, who was only eighteen, took her own life. According to the rumors, the reason she died was because the emperor had violated her.

 

There were two pieces of evidence. One was that the emperor had visited the viscount’s mansion three times before the incident. The other was that a new title and territory were bestowed upon the viscount afterwards.

 

The emperor had several times openly taken a married woman he fancied under the tolerance of his wife. But this was the first time it had led to such a tragic end.

 

If the rumors were true, it made sense why Aaron stepped in. No matter how much he was the emperor, this was not something that could be easily covered up and moved on. He probably intended to block any potential scandals until things calmed down.

 

‘Was that why the Crown Prince introduced Esmeralda to me?’

 

If one were to name a powerful family that could replace the emperor, Daryl would undoubtedly be the first choice. Considering that until recently, Daryl was actually sponsoring Esmeralda, it was ironic.

 

“So you’re threatening me without any backing?”

 

“Threat? That’s too much. As I said, I just asked you to stay here a little longer.”

 

“Why?”

 

“We’ve never sat face to face and spent time together since we first met.”

 

Daryl always came to Esmeralda’s place, held her, and then left. Even when they spent a long time together, they sometimes had light meals, but they never sat down at a table for a proper meal.

 

Daryl silently stared at Esmeralda. His eyes were filled with suspicion, wondering if she had any other tricks up her sleeve.

 

“I won’t say anything later, so don’t worry. I wasn’t really serious about spreading our relationship. I was just jealous because you were so upset about your wife.”

 

“……”

 

Esmeralda placed two new glasses in front of her, opened a bottle of liquor, and poured it into each glass. Then she handed one to Daryl.

 

“It’s not a big deal if you’re a little late. Or does your wife not sleep and wait for you?”

 

At Esmeralda’s light-hearted words, Daryl slightly twisted his mouth.

 

“You really won’t say anything else?”

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

“You won’t approach me anymore, and you won’t make any ridiculous threats.”

 

“Yes. I promise.”

 

Daryl took the glass that Esmeralda offered him with a stern expression. Esmeralda, squinting her eyes into a crescent moon shape, clinked her glass against his.

 

***

 

Eleanor got out of bed before the rooster crowed. She hadn’t been able to sleep properly the night before. And, as she had feared, Darryl still hadn’t returned to the mansion.

 

“He’ll be back soon. He often comes home around dawn… It must have been difficult for him to leave the celebration at the palace at his own will. Don’t worry too much. He did promise, didn’t he?”

 

Herbert looked despondent, as if Darryl’s late return was somehow his fault. He bowed his head several times as he looked at Eleanor.

 

“It’s okay, Herbert. I believe him too.”

 

It might have been a blessing in disguise. If Daryl returned home tired in the morning, he would surely want to rest. If she could use that as an excuse to go to the mansion In Loud alone, it would be even better for Eleanor.

 

Eleanor had finished preparing to go out early and was just waiting for Daryl to return.

 

But even after the day had dawned, Daryl did not appear.

 

As time passed, the sun crossed the center of the sky, and even as it tilted westward, staining the horizon red, he still did not return.