If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“Brother, are you drunk right now?”

 

“Why, do I look like I’m drunk?”

 

Daryl stared at Layla expressionlessly. He looked perfectly fine. In fact, Layla had never seen Daryl drunk before. He was a person who was very strict with self-management.

 

“I should have been the one to do it, even if I was drunk.”

 

“Huh? What?”

 

“That guy carried Eleanor.”

 

“It was an emergency situation, so he did that. Anyone other than Viscount Brooke would have done the same.”

 

“That’s right, so I should have done it.”

 

She was suddenly annoyed at his words.

 

“Then do it! What’s the point of saying that now when you were just standing there dumbfounded at the time?”

 

“……”

 

Daryl remained silent with a gloomy expression. Layla sighed without realizing it.

 

“Brother. Why are you so against Viscount Brooke?”

 

At her words, his dying eyes suddenly became fierce.

 

“Against? What do you mean by that?”

 

“Ever since the wedding, you’ve been restless whenever you see Viscount Brooke.”

 

“He keeps hanging around my wife, isn’t that natural?”

 

“Hanging around? What do you mean hanging around? Viscount Brooke was invited by me today! And at the wedding, he was just taking care of Eleanor because she wasn’t feeling well!”

 

“……”

 

When Eleanor’s health was mentioned, Daryl’s lips twisted slightly.

 

“I heard she’s fainted before? When she’s surprised or shocked, and she even had a medical check-up with Hardy! You knew about this, didn’t you? And yet you caused such a scene in front of Eleanor today?”

 

“…….”

 

“From the beginning, when did you follow us there? When I invited you, you said you wouldn’t come! Did you do that because you thought Eleanor wouldn’t go if she knew you were coming? So you came secretly, but you should have at least avoided causing a problem!”

 

Daryl remained silent in the face of Layla’s relentless criticism. She had vented her anger, but seeing him like this made her feel strange. The Daryl that Layla knew would never just sit and listen in such a situation.

 

What on earth happened to her older brother?

 

His eyes were dark and his expression was blank, as if he was half out of his mind.

 

“…Brother.”

 

Layla spoke in a much calmer voice.

 

“Why are you acting like this? You’ve been strange lately, really.”

 

“…”

 

Daryl silently tilted the whiskey bottle to fill his glass.

 

“Brother. Stop drinking now. The sun hasn’t even set yet.”

 

“If you’re done talking, leave.”

 

“Brother.”

 

When Layla didn’t leave, Daryl rang the handbell. Soon, a junior butler entered the room.

 

“Take Layla to her room.”

 

“……”

 

The junior butler stood awkwardly next to Layla with a devastated look. Layla looked at Daryl for a moment, then turned and left the office.

 

****

 

Eleanor was resting, leaning against the bedside, when Emily informed her that a guest had arrived. It was Layla.

 

“Miss Layla.”

 

“Don’t get up.”

 

Layla stopped Eleanor from getting off the bed and closing her book.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m fine. I’ve been fine since earlier. I only feel bad when the symptoms appear… Emily is so worried about me right now.”

 

“You should rest since you’ve been out for a while.”

 

Seeing the young maid with still fluffy hair speaking sternly made her laugh. Layla sat down on the chair that Emily had moved next to the bed.

 

“I’m sorry about today. Because of me…”

 

“Stop saying you’re sorry. If you say it one more time, I’m really going to leave.”

 

Layla pouted her lips at her words. Eleanor looked embarrassed.

 

“So don’t worry too much. We can always go horseback riding again.”

 

“…Thank you for saying that, but I think it’s better for me not to go anymore.”

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

“If something like this happens again, it won’t be good. I’ve already caused trouble for both of you today…”

 

“What trouble? Besides, Eleanor’s health didn’t deteriorate because of horseback riding. If only my brother hadn’t shown up…”

 

Layla trailed off, her words ending vaguely.

 

“But we don’t know when the symptoms will appear in the future. If it happens while riding a horse, you could get seriously injured. Considering the risk, I think it’s better to avoid horseback riding.”

 

“…….”

She couldn’t add anything more to what she said. Eleanor smiled quietly at Layla.

 

“Thank you. Miss Leila. Thanks to you, I had a very enjoyable time. I’ll remember what you taught me and ride again when my body gets better someday.”

 

It was as if she assumed that Layla wouldn’t be with her ‘someday’.

 

‘Of course, from Eleanor’s point of view, this place is where she will eventually leave… and there’s less than half a year left on the contract.’

 

She definitely understood. But it was true that she felt strangely upset. It was absurd that she felt that way.

 

“…Eleanor.”

 

“Yes, Miss Layla.”

 

“Do you… hate my brother a lot?”

 

At her casual question, Eleanor’s expression hardened slightly. Layla quickly corrected herself.

 

“I asked a stupid question. Of course, you would hate him. He always chooses to say things that are unpleasant to hear… Even as his sister, there are times when I really get annoyed.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor said nothing, her eyes downcast. Layla felt a burning sensation in her chest.

 

“But just because my brother is grumpy doesn’t mean he feels the same way. From what I see, I think my brother cares about Eleanor more than you think. Today, I think he was jealous seeing Viscount Brooke with Eleanor…”

 

‘…So what?’

 

Leila stopped talking and asked herself. So, should her sister-in-law understand? Even if she was Daryl’s sister, it wasn’t something she should say to Eleanor in this situation.

 

Many words swirled in her head. Daryl is clumsier than he looks. He’s never said a kind word in his life, so he can’t express his true feelings. In fact, Daryl is not in a good state right now. There might be a misunderstanding, so why don’t you have a talk with him one day…

 

But all of them were just words asking Eleanor to give in and consider first.

 

If the two of them were just an ordinary couple, it might have been different, but for Eleanor, this married life was just a means to repay the debt to Layla’s deceased father. It was clear that telling her to get along with Daryl now would sound hollow to Eleanor.

 

‘…I can’t do it, brother. You’ve brought this upon yourself, so you’ll have to figure it out on your own.’

 

“Miss Layla?”

 

When Layla stopped talking for a while, Eleanor called her with a puzzled look.

 

“No, it’s nothing. Let’s do something else instead of horseback riding. It would be nice to go on a picnic somewhere quiet. How about the river? We can even ride a boat while we’re there…”

 

Layla spoke in a deliberately bright voice. Eleanor hesitated for a while and then smiled ambiguously.

 

“Yes. When I’m feeling better.”

 

It was clear that her words sounded like a polite refusal. Layla swallowed a sigh inside. She felt frustrated in many ways.

 

****

 

In the end, Eleanor did not try to leave the mansion after that. Even when Layla invited her several times, she just shook her head.

 

[I don’t want to cause any trouble for him.]

 

It was the same thing she had said when she first suggested going horseback riding. Now, Layla realized that what she meant was, ‘I don’t want to do anything that could potentially involve Daryl.’

 

Although she spent these sunny summer days only inside the mansion, Eleanor did not seem to be dissatisfied with her daily life. She seemed quite content with her life of reading books in the library every day, taking walks in the garden, and occasionally having tea and chatting with Layla.

 

She and Daryl continued to live as a couple in name only. Layla hadn’t seen the two of them together for several weeks since the Downs Riding Club. Her older brother still looked depressed. According to Herbert, it seemed that he couldn’t sleep well these days.

 

[I think we can’t leave it like this, but the Master doesn’t listen to me…]

 

Herbert hinted that she should do something about it. But Daryl wouldn’t listen to Layla either.

 

And it wasn’t a problem that could be solved by the people around them stepping in. In the end, Daryl himself had to solve it.

 

****

 

It was one day in mid-August. Eleanor was looking at the calendar in her room. The following Tuesday, the 23rd, was the sixth anniversary of her mother, Sylvia’s death.

 

When she was in Loud, she used to visit her mother’s grave and offer flowers every year, and have a time to remember her with the servants at the mansion.

 

She had given up and accepted a lot when she accepted Daryl’s proposal for a contract marriage, but she didn’t want to let her mother’s anniversary pass by. She wanted to properly greet her mother and see the faces of Peggy and the other servants after a long time.

 

But the reason she hesitated was because she needed Daryl’s permission to go out.