If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Benjamin was riding a horse the same color as his hair, a dark brown.

 

“Duchess. And Miss Lloyd.”

 

He greeted Eleanor and Layla in turn, meeting their eyes.

 

“Welcome, Viscount Brooke. We’ve been waiting for you.”

 

Layla spoke with an elegant smile. Seeing her suddenly transform into a princess-like demeanor and speech, Eleanor quietly laughed to herself.

 

It was Layla who had invited Benjamin to this place today. When Layla first suggested going horseback riding, Eleanor had refused, saying she didn’t know how to ride a horse and didn’t want to worry Daryl. But the next day, Layla came back to Eleanor, saying she had gotten permission from Daryl.

 

[I’ll teach you how to ride. It’ll be fun. Molstead will like it too.]

 

Still seeing Eleanor hesitate, the last card she pulled out was Benjamin.

 

[Actually, I wanted to invite Viscount Brooke to that place. I can’t do it alone. Since Eleanor is close with Viscount Brooke, it’s a good excuse. Please help me get closer to Viscount Brooke.]

 

Eleanor couldn’t refuse any further when Layla pleaded with such a desperate expression. Eleanor knew very well how much Layla liked Benjamin.

 

Of course, she wasn’t without worry that she might have a seizure while riding. But now she knew that the seizures only came when her heart was disturbed. There were only two things that could disturb her heart to that extent. The gaze of many people, and Daryl.

 

So she thought it would be okay. She had already warned Peter, the stableman who was going with her, about Eleanor’s symptoms. He said he would keep holding Molstead’s reins and stay by Eleanor’s side. Peter, who told her to trust him and that it would be okay, was also very grateful.

 

“It’s been a while.”

 

“…Yes, Viscount Brooke. It’s been a while.”

 

Eleanor gave a weak smile at Benjamin.

 

There was one more thing on her mind. It was the fact that she had assured Daryl at the wedding reception that she would no longer meet Benjamin personally.

 

‘…But do I really need to keep that promise?’

 

Daryl didn’t consider Eleanor as his wife anyway. He had another woman he loved. It was absurd to confine Eleanor while he acted as he pleased.

 

Moreover, Eleanor was here to help Layla. It was ridiculous to call this a personal meeting when she wasn’t alone with Benjamin.

 

Above all, Eleanor was extremely tired of everything related to Daryl. She didn’t want to think about him anymore. She didn’t want to ponder and chew over what he had said. Perhaps Daryl had long forgotten what he had said then.

 

After all, there were only four months left.

 

“Duchess, is this your first time riding a horse? You don’t look like it at all.”

 

At Layla’s words, Benjamin nodded.

 

“Yes. You look very skilled and natural.”

 

“That’s an overstatement. I’m just sitting on it. Molstead is such a gentle and quiet child…”

 

“It’s a very beautiful horse. I heard it was a gift from the Empress, it seems to have met the right owner.”

 

Eleanor smiled shyly. It was a bit burdensome to have the topic focused on her.

 

“I’ll stay here with Peter until I get used to it, why don’t you two take a walk nearby?”

 

“But leaving the Duchess alone…”

 

Benjamin trailed off, seeming hesitant.

 

“I feel like you two can’t fully enjoy horseback riding because of me. If you do that, I think I’ll feel much better.”

 

“…If the Duchess says so, then shall we go for a little walk?”

 

Layla asked as if she couldn’t help it. Benjamin kept silent for a moment, then opened his mouth again.

 

“Alright. Let’s go, Miss Lloyd.”

 

“Yes, Viscount Brooke.”

 

Benjamin turned the horse’s head. Layla followed him, glanced back at Eleanor, and mouthed ‘thank you’. Eleanor quietly smiled.

 

“Then, would you like to take a little look around, Madam? It would be boring to just ride.”

 

Peter spoke after the two had gone far away.

 

“Will it be okay?”

 

“Yes, of course. I’m here, aren’t I?”

 

“Alright. Just a little…”

 

As Eleanor gave permission, Peter started walking, pulling Molstead’s reins. Eleanor swallowed her breath, slightly tense at the feeling of her whole body shaking with the horse’s steps.

 

“How is it? No problems?”

 

“Yes, I think it’s okay. Thank you, Peter.”

 

It was a truly sunny day. The moderate sunlight warmed her body through her clothes. The wind gently brushed her cheeks, which felt good. It was when she started looking around with a slight smile, having a little leisure.

 

She made eye contact with a person she hadn’t expected. It was Daryl.

 

Daryl was walking towards her across the grass with a stern expression.

 

“…Peter, stop for a moment.”

 

“Yes?”

 

Peter looked up at Eleanor, followed her gaze, and belatedly noticed Daryl.

 

“Master.”

 

“Why is he here?”

 

His voice was already full of anger.

 

‘…Don’t.’

 

Eleanor muttered to herself without realizing it. An intense feeling of rejection filled her body, surprising even herself. She didn’t want to talk to Daryl. At least not with him in that expression, in that voice.

 

Eleanor closed her eyes tightly. But this was reality. Just like all the things she had been through so far, it wasn’t something she could avoid by turning away.

 

“…Please get me down, Peter.”

 

“Ah, yes, Madam.”

 

“I’ll do it.”

 

At Daryl’s words, Peter stopped reaching out to Eleanor.

 

“…..”

 

Words of refusal, of telling him not to, rose to her throat. If she could, she would have gotten down on her own. The fact that she couldn’t, she cursed.

 

“Here, hold on.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor just stared at the hand Daryl extended. Seeing her expression, Daryl gritted his teeth.

 

“…I won’t hurt you, so hold on.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor bit her lip and didn’t respond or act. She just held the reins tightly and trembled faintly. She thought she should take Daryl’s hand. Because if she didn’t, she didn’t know how much more violent his words or actions would be. But even knowing that, her body wouldn’t move. Eleanor was surprised at how her body and mind wouldn’t listen to her.

 

She just didn’t want to. She hated it so much.

 

Daryl’s expression slowly twisted.

 

‘…Is it that disgusting? To touch me.’

 

Daryl slowly lowered the hand he had extended.

 

“…Help her down.”

 

“Yes? Ah, yes. Understood.”

 

When Daryl stepped back, Peter hurriedly helped Eleanor down from the horse. Unlike Daryl, she did not reject Peter’s touch, nor did she hesitate to lean on him for a moment.

 

Even after coming down, Eleanor kept her gaze down, not trying to look at Daryl.

 

“…….”

 

Daryl endured the emotion pressing down on him, his fist clenched tightly.

 

“…I asked, why is he here.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor didn’t answer. Daryl had to exert all his strength not to raise his voice.

 

“Eleanor.”

 

“……”

 

“Can’t you hear me?”

 

“……”

 

Eleanor still didn’t even try to look at Daryl. It was as if she was denying Daryl’s existence itself.

 

Then, the sound of galloping hooves echoed towards them. It was Layla and Benjamin.

 

“Brother.”

 

Layla gasped softly, her eyes wide open.

 

“What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t come.”

 

“……”

 

Daryl didn’t look at Layla. His sharp gaze, as fierce as a beast, was directed at Benjamin behind her.

 

“Duke Griffith.”

 

Benjamin calmly greeted him. Daryl gritted his teeth.

 

“Why is the Viscount here?”

 

“I invited him. It has nothing to do with Eleanor.”

 

Realizing the seriousness of the situation, Layla hurriedly spoke.

 

“I remember you didn’t mention this when you came to ask for permission.”

 

“……”

 

At the cold voice, Layla slightly shivered her shoulders.

 

“Explain.”

 

“…Brother.”

 

“Explain why you brought him here.”

 

“I asked her.”

 

Benjamin interjected in a quiet voice.

 

“I heard from Miss Lloyd that they were going horseback riding, and I said I wanted to join if it was okay.”

 

Daryl glared at Benjamin. It was a look that could kill him on the spot.

 

“Did you forget what I said on the wedding day? I clearly told you not to hover around my woman again. Was my warning a joke to you, Viscount?”