If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Soon, the conductor led the actors closer to the audience. It was to pay respects to the Emperor and Empress.

 

“What a wonderful stage. I had a very enjoyable time.”

 

At the Emperor’s generous praise, the conductor respectfully bowed.

 

“It’s an honor, Your Majesty.”

 

“Especially the actress who played the female lead was excellent. What is her name?”

 

At the Emperor’s words, the actress in question stepped forward. As expected, she was a beauty that instantly caught the eye.

 

“My name is Esmeralda, Your Majesty.”

 

“I see. I will remember that.”

 

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

 

Esmeralda bowed deeply without covering her chest. Her ample cleavage was clearly exposed.

 

And at that moment, Eleanor saw it. The very same aquamarine necklace she had seen in Daryl’s office was around her neck.

 

Her heart sank.

 

At first, she thought she had seen it wrong. But it wasn’t. Eleanor remembered every small detail of that necklace. It was definitely the same necklace she had seen then.

 

‘No, it can’t be… It’s not like there’s only one of those necklaces in the world…’

 

Then she heard Esmeralda’s words.

 

“I’m embarrassed to say this, but today is my birthday. I feel it’s a meaningful birthday as I was able to present this stage to Your Majesty and even received such generous praise.”

 

“Oh, is that so? Having heard that, I can’t just let it pass. I will personally give you a gift.”

 

“Your grace is boundless, Your Majesty.”

 

Esmeralda bowed again with a face full of joy.

 

Eleanor felt empty-headed. Today is her birthday… That woman too, today…

 

Without realizing it, Eleanor turned to look at Daryl next to her. Daryl was looking down at Esmeralda with a slightly furrowed brow and a strange expression.

 

When she looked back at Esmeralda, she saw that her gaze was also directed at Daryl. She lightly brushed the necklace she was wearing with her finger, then gave a secretive smile.

 

Esmeralda’s crescent-shaped eyes were a light blue color. The same as aquamarine.

 

***

 

Even as the actors finished their greetings and returned to the backstage, applause still echoed here and there.

 

‘Why did I have to run into her in a place like this…’

 

Moreover, Esmeralda had just sent a signal to Daryl. She blatantly ignored Daryl’s words to never acknowledge each other if they saw each other elsewhere.

 

He thought he might have to warn her again, but decided not to. That could also be part of Esmeralda’s scheme. Besides, it seemed like she caught the old Emperor’s eye. She probably wouldn’t need him anymore.

 

As he was about to get up, he saw Eleanor hunched over with her head down. Her heart sank without her realizing it.

 

“Eleanor. What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell again?”

 

“…..”

 

“Eleanor.”

 

It was when he was about to touch her shoulder, a faint voice came.

 

“I’m fine…”

 

“What are you talking about? You’re clearly not fine.”

 

“I really am fine. In a little while… I’ll get better.”

 

“There are too many people here. Let’s move to another place first.”

 

“I’m fine, I said.”

 

Eleanor spoke in a sharp voice. It was the first time he had heard her speak like that, and he was momentarily taken aback.

 

“…I don’t want to cause a scene.Please… just let me be like this for a little while.”

 

“…..”

 

Daryl took off his jacket and draped it over Eleanor’s shoulders. Eleanor was still looking down, not showing her face.

 

“What’s wrong? Is she feeling unwell again?”

 

Theodora, who was getting up from her seat, asked.

 

“…No. She seems a little tired from watching the long performance. We’ll rest for a while and then get up.”

 

“Is she really okay?”

 

At that, Eleanor lifted her head. Although she looked a bit pale, her face was smiling as if nothing had happened.

 

“Yes, I’m fine, Your Majesty. I apologize for causing you concern.”

 

“…Alright. Then take your time to come out.”

 

Theodora still looked unconvinced, but she left the audience with the Emperor, escorted by her maids.

 

“…..”

 

Daryl looked at Eleanor, who was still hunched over, with a troubled gaze. He cautiously reached out to touch her shoulder, then pulled back.

 

‘…Damn it.’

 

He cursed under his breath in frustration.

 

****

 

Elinor didn’t remember how she got home that day. She didn’t remember when she had taken off her dress and removed her makeup, when she had lain down on the bed, or how she had fallen asleep.

 

When she came to, it was the next morning.

 

She didn’t understand why she felt this way. In fact, thinking about it, it wasn’t surprising at all. From the moment Daryl showed her the prenuptial agreement, he made his intentions clear. They were just going to be a couple in name, and they wouldn’t have a marital relationship. But Daryl would be free to see other women.

 

In response to Eleanor’s words that he didn’t respect her as a wife, Daryl had clearly said this.

 

[Or are you going to take care of my sexual needs?]

 

Eleanor let out a bitter laugh without realizing it. He had declared it from the beginning, so of course he would have a girlfriend. Of course, the birthday gift he bought would be for her, and the gemstone of that necklace resembled someone’s eyes, but it was never Eleanor.

 

Why didn’t she realize such an obvious fact from the beginning? Why did she have such an absurd delusion? Why, really.

 

[Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re a real duchess, and live like you’re dead for a year. Don’t make a fuss.]

 

Daryl had never changed for a moment. Therefore, the fault was entirely with Eleanor. She was the one who had delusions, who had baseless expectations.

 

She felt ridiculous for having such absurd expectations and getting all dressed up. How pathetic she was compared to her, who was shining brightly on that big stage, receiving the attention of so many people. It was certain that Daryl would have laughed if he knew.

 

The inside of her chest burned as if it was being scorched. Eleanor curled up, buried in the blankets.

 

****

 

“…Eleanor still hasn’t gotten up?”

 

“Yes. She says she doesn’t need to eat and just keeps lying in bed.”

 

At Herbert’s words, Daryl furrowed his brow. It was already close to noon. It was unlike her, who always got up at dawn and saw him off.

 

“I thought she was tired because she came home so late yesterday, but it’s strange… Her maid came by earlier and said so.”

 

“…Contact Hardy. Tell him to come right now.”

 

“Yes, I understand.”

 

Daryl rose from his desk and left his office. And headed for the Hibiscus Room.

 

Even in the carriage returning home yesterday, Eleanor clearly didn’t look well. Although the seizure seemed to have subsided for the time being, her face was extremely pale, and there was no focus in her eyes. She had looked unhappy throughout the outing, but it wasn’t just a simple problem.

 

‘If you’re not feeling well, you should say so. Will the illness get better if you just stay in your room and endure it? It would be a relief if it doesn’t get worse.’

 

He couldn’t stand the churning inside him. Daryl knocked on the door of the Hibiscus Room with a stern expression.

 

“Eleanor. It’s me.”

 

There was no sound from the room.

 

“Are you okay? Are you sleeping? If you can hear me, say something.”

 

He was restless and finally reached for the doorknob, the door opened from the inside.

 

Eleanor appeared through the half-open door. Whether she had been sleeping all along or not, she was dressed in a thin nightgown with only a shawl draped over it. His heart rate sped up uncontrollably at her unusually defenseless attire and naturally let-down hair.

 

‘Damn it, am I crazy? Now is not the time!’

 

Daryl painfully suppressed the rising excitement.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

Her tone was almost devoid of inflection, sounding more like a statement than a question. Although she always had a calm and composed expression, today there was not a trace of emotion on Eleanor’s face.

 

“…You’ve been lying down all this time, so I was worried and came to see. Hardy will be here soon, so try to eat something before the examination.”

 

“I’m fine. Please tell him not to come.”

 

“What do you mean you’re fine? You clearly don’t have any strength.”

 

“…..”

 

“Just do as I say, it’s not for my sake.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor looked at Daryl with her transparent eyes that seemed empty. There was still no expression on her face.

 

“…I’m really fine, so you don’t have to pretend to worry.”

 

“…What?”

 

Daryl unknowingly furrowed his brow.