If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“No, Your Majesty the Empress. I’m embarrassed to say, but I don’t have yet.”

 

“That’s just as well. It’s a work that I personally like, so I hope you like it too.”

 

“I am deeply grateful, Your Majesty.”

 

****

 

During the banquet, Theodora kept Eleanor by her side. It was an excuse that Eleanor needed to rest, but in reality, there was another reason.

 

“I’m getting old and easily tired. I want to rest in a quiet place for a while, would you accompany me and keep me company?”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty. I understand.”

 

Theodora led the maids and Eleanor to the Empress’s private lounge, a little away from the banquet hall. It was a room that only Theodora’s close associates could enter, excluding the royal family. Considering her position as the Duchess of Griffith, it was undoubtedly an honor for Eleanor to step into this room.

 

Eleanor seemed slightly tense, aware of this fact. The Empress sat on the sofa. Soon, the maids began to remove her wig and shoes and started massaging her legs.

 

“You sit down and rest too.”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

“How is your health?”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty. Thanks to your concern, I am comfortable.”

 

“That’s a relief.”

 

Theodora, who had been resting while entrusting her body to the maids, suddenly straightened up.

 

“Go out for a while.”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

The maids left the lounge one after another. The only ones left in the room were Theodora and Elinor. Elinor maintained a calm and composed expression, but she couldn’t completely hide her tension.

 

“Elinor.”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”

 

“Please speak, Your Majesty.”

 

Theodora stared into Eleanor’s eyes for a moment, then let out a light sigh.

 

“Is the rumor about you and your mother true?”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor surprisingly maintained a calm demeanor. Perhaps she had anticipated this to some extent.

 

“Whatever you hear here will never be leaked outside, and no matter what answer you give, you will not suffer any disadvantages. You have my word as the Empress. I just want to know the truth.”

 

“……”

 

After a brief silence, Eleanor opened her mouth.

 

“It’s not true.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty. There was nothing improper between them two. I can swear on the names of my humble father and mother.”

 

There was no sign of lying or guilt in Eleanor’s eyes as she looked at Theodora, nor was there any anger or insult at the Empress’s question. She was just extremely calm and quiet.

 

“My mother deeply loved my father, and my father was the only man in my mother’s life. The former Duke never looked at my mother inappropriately. If he had, I would have definitely known. The late Duke was just… he showed mercy to my mother and me out of pure kindness.”

 

Watching Eleanor speak slowly and clearly, Theodora thought that perhaps she had been waiting for this moment. She had been plagued by rumors all her life, but she had never had a chance to refute or explain them.

 

“…So that’s what it is.”

 

Theodora quietly lowered her eyes. Her heart, which had been heavy all along, seemed to feel a little lighter.

 

She had asked ‘Is the rumor true?’ but Theodora had never once thought that Eleanor was Frederick’s illegitimate child, like the rumors of the world. If that were the case, Frederick would not have left a will to marry Eleanor to his eldest son.

 

However, she could not be sure about the relationship between Frederick and Sylvia. If Frederick had cherished feelings for Sylvia, Sylvia, who had lost her husband and had been taken care of by him for a long time, could not have helped but be drawn to him.

 

Of course, Theodora believed in Frederick’s character. She thought that such an upright and noble person would not have an inappropriate relationship with another woman while having a wife.

 

Yet she couldn’t completely erase the lingering doubt in her heart. Because the man she had been closest to and watched all her life was none other than Emperor Hector III. And because her son, who was born of her blood, also had a temperament that was very similar to him. It was because of the curse of the words ‘men are naturally such animals’ that the Emperor had indoctrinated her with all her life.

 

She wanted to believe, but she couldn’t fully trust. Still, she wanted to believe.

 

Of course, there was no concrete evidence in Eleanor’s words. But how could there be evidence for such a thing? If there was, it would be the existence of this child, who grew up so upright despite the suspicion of being an illegitimate child, right in front of Theodora now.

 

Now it seemed that she could look at Eleanor with a more comfortable heart.

 

“Thank you for telling me. I hope you will forgive my rudeness in asking you such a question.”

 

“Not at all, Your Majesty the Empress.”

 

“The late Duke of Griffith was a truly noble character. I didn’t have a personal relationship with him, but I received great comfort from the kindness he showed me in my youth.”

 

“……”

 

“I always thought he wouldn’t do that. Yes, that’s what I thought…”

 

Theodora murmured in a tender voice. A tear trickled down from Eleanor’s eyes as she watched her. It was a tear that Eleanor herself didn’t know why.

 

****

 

Before they knew it, the night had deepened, but the banquet was still in full swing. The guests moved to the outdoor performance hall. Even though it was summer and the sun had completely set, it was not cold at all.

 

Daryl and Eleanor took their seats in the VIP section right next to the Emperor and Empress. Soon the performance began. The stage was as bright as day, lit by hundreds of candles.

 

The opera was about a noble and brave hero overcoming all trials and winning victory and love. It was a very famous work, and Eleanor had read it several times in books. Other plays often dealt with stimulating subjects such as adultery, secret meetings, and revenge, and many ended tragically. In contrast, she liked this work because it had no irritating content and ended with a bright and hopeful ending.

 

While reading the book, she had imagined what the actual stage would feel like several times. She never thought she would be able to see it with her own eyes today. The joy was even greater because it was a special day. It felt like a birthday present for herself. While immersed in the stage and enjoying it, she was able to forget the worries in her heart for a moment.

 

In the end, Daryl did not give Eleanor that necklace. The disappointment was even greater because she had not given up hope until the very last moment.

 

And she felt very foolish. There was no guarantee from the beginning that the gift was for Eleanor. She just found someone’s birthday gift on Daryl’s desk, and it just happened to be not long before her birthday.

 

She felt like dying of embarrassment when she thought about how excited she had been over such a simple coincidence.

 

If she thinks about it simply, there’s no reason for Daryl to give her a gift. From the beginning, it was clear that he didn’t even know that today was Eleanor’s birthday.

 

She had made such an outrageous delusion without knowing that obvious fact. Eleanor was depressed all the time she was in the palace because of that self-loathing.

 

Still, her mood improved a lot with the excitement of seeing an opera, a work she had liked since long ago, for the first time in her life. When the final curtain fell, Eleanor clapped enthusiastically.

 

Daryl, who was sitting next to her, also looked relieved seeing her like that. He had been worried because Eleanor seemed to be in a bad mood all day today. Moreover, it was a place where so many people gathered. He was uncomfortable with the anxiety that Eleanor might have another attack at any time.

 

‘Fortunately, it seems there was no problem.’

 

Now that the opera was over, they would soon return to the mansion. The fact that Eleanor’s health did not deteriorate was enough to consider today’s outing a success.

 

And she liked the opera so much. If he had known beforehand, he would have taken her out sooner. Next time, he should rent an entire theater like he did during the Scopfield Art Exhibition. It would cost some money, but it was more comfortable because there was no need to rely on favors.

 

After a while, the curtain rose again and the actors came out to greet. Eleanor was clapping so hard that her palms were sore.

 

Everyone was great, but her eyes were particularly drawn to the actress who played the heroine. She had a unique and attractive voice and a great singing ability. She wasn’t sure because she saw it from a distance, but she thought she must be beautiful.