If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Eleanor stayed in Layla’s room until quite late before returning to the Hibiscus Room. These days, she was spending a lot of time with Layla.

 

At first, Layla was hostile towards Eleanor, but now she seemed to have opened up to her. They had gradually become closer since they first talked about Benjamin at the dining room a few months ago.

 

Once they started talking, they found they had a lot in common. Initially, their main topics were praising Benjamin and criticizing Daryl, but gradually they expanded to other stories. Eleanor, who had no social experience, found Layla’s stories about the outside world fascinating and interesting. Conversely, Layla liked that Eleanor listened attentively to her stories. She said she couldn’t easily trust anyone because of the rumors, and she could count her true friends on one hand.

 

[I didn’t know that chatting could be so enjoyable.]

 

Eleanor sympathized with this statement, but also felt a bit sad.

 

Whenever Layla went to a party and happened to meet Benjamin, she would talk excitedly about it for hours. Seeing her excited face, Eleanor thought that love was a wonderful thing. She found Leila, who could immerse herself purely in such feelings, both enviable and adorable.

 

[Why don’t you come to a banquet with me next time, Duchess?]

 

One day, Layla asked this as if she had made up her mind. Eleanor was very pleased with the proposal, but she had to shake her head.

 

[I’m sorry. I’m a bit reluctant to go to crowded places…]

 

Eleanor hadn’t specifically told Layla about her illness. But with just that one sentence, Layla seemed to understand Eleanor’s feelings and didn’t push her further.

 

Thanks to Layla, Eleanor’s days at Chatsworth House became much more comfortable and enjoyable. Emily was still taking care of her wholeheartedly, Herbert was always kind, and she received letters from Peggy every week… Compared to when she first arrived here, it was a huge difference.

 

The season was also entering summer, and sunny days continued every day.

 

Daryl had changed a lot too. He was still busy and rarely seen, but he no longer got annoyed or said harsh words to Eleanor. That alone was a big change.

 

When Daryl first showed Eleanor his private gallery in the mansion, she was confused but also a bit happy. Moreover, he immediately called a doctor when she fell ill. It was hard to believe that he was the same person who had told her to ‘get a grip’ after seeing her injury from Cecilia.

 

But Daryl’s kindness and attention to Eleanor ended there. He no longer sought her out or did anything for her. There were even moments when he felt more distant than before when they conversed.

 

It’s funny how the human heart works. When Daryl first treated her well, she deliberately tried to erase her expectations because she didn’t want to get hurt again. But now that he was distant from her, she felt a faint sense of disappointment.

 

‘But this is enough.’

 

Compared to the days when she couldn’t sleep properly and suffered from stomachaches, now was like heaven. There had been no seizures since the day she went to the gallery. It was truly a comfortable day.

 

‘It would be nice if it stays like this until the day I return to Loud…’

 

Eleanor asked Emily while she was getting ready.

 

“Has he gone to bed?”

 

“No, he seems to be still working in his office.”

 

Eleanor sat on the bed and opened a book. She planned to wait until Daryl came to the bedroom. But even as time passed and the night deepened, there was no sign of anyone entering the Lilac Room.

 

‘Did he fall asleep at his desk again today…’

 

Eleanor closed the book and got up. Since their marriage, Daryl’s complexion had been getting worse day by day. Although being busy with work was inevitable, she wished he could rest properly in bed when he had time. Eleanor vowed to wake him up forcibly if he was really asleep.

 

Eleanor knocked on the office door and entered when there was no answer. As she feared, Daryl was asleep at his desk with a candle lit. As she approached, she saw that a bottle of alcohol was left open again.

 

‘Herbert said he’s been drinking a lot lately…’

 

She was worried, but she wasn’t sure if it was her place to intervene. He wouldn’t listen to her, let alone Herbert.

 

Eleanor closed the bottle and put it aside, then noticed a small red velvet box nearby. There was a small card next to the box. It read:

 

[Lawrence Jewelers. Happy Birthday]

 

Eleanor felt her heart beating fast without realizing it.

 

Normally, she would never have expected it to be hers. At least if that card wasn’t there, or if her birthday wasn’t next Saturday.

 

June 18th. It was the day Eleanor was born.

 

Of course, she had never mentioned that fact after coming to the mansion. Daryl was not the type to celebrate someone’s birthday. Especially not Eleanor’s.

 

But she couldn’t help but hope. Daryl was the one who had investigated even her distant relatives that Eleanor didn’t know about and sent them wedding invitations. It was likely that her birthday was also recorded in Philip’s report.

 

Moreover, didn’t Daryl create a personal gallery right after visiting the exhibition of Scofield’s paintings? He even bought and displayed the paintings she liked, and explained each and every one of them… For someone who hates being bothered…

 

‘…No way, it can’t be.’

 

But just in case. No, just in case. No. Just in case…

 

Those four words kept spinning around in her mind. Eleanor swallowed without realizing it.

 

The box was open. Even though she thought she shouldn’t look closely, her gaze was drawn to the contents.

 

It was a necklace made of aquamarine and diamonds. Eleanor didn’t usually like jewelry or accessories, but she really liked this one. She liked the simple yet sophisticated design, but also because she liked aquamarine.

 

The first ring her mother passed on to Eleanor was also made of aquamarine.

 

[This has always been my favorite ring. It’s the same water color as your father’s eyes. Just like Nor, your eye color]

 

Did Daryl choose this necklace thinking of her? Thinking that, her heartbeat was so fast that it felt like her chest would burst. Even though she knew it was impossible, and that she would only be disappointed if she hoped, she couldn’t erase that thought.

 

And somehow, it seemed like it could be true.

 

What would it mean if it was? Why would Daryl, for what reason, to her, this gift…

 

Then Daryl groaned faintly. Eleanor was so surprised that she almost screamed.

 

Eleanor left the office in dismay. Even after she returned to the Hibiscus Room, it took her a while to realize that she should have woken Daryl up.

 

But she didn’t have the courage to go back to the office and face Daryl, so she had no choice but to ask a servant who was still awake to do it instead.

 

In the end, Eleanor barely slept that night.

 

***

It was a few days later. Daryl returned to the mansion before dinner that day. As always, Eleanor greeted him at the entrance.

 

“Welcome home, honey.”

 

Even as she greeted him, she couldn’t look directly into Daryl’s eyes. She had been like this ever since she found the aquamarine necklace in Daryl’s office. Eleanor didn’t know why she was acting like this.

 

“Let’s talk for a moment.”

 

At first, she thought he was talking to Herbert. It was only later that Eleanor realized that Daryl was still looking at her.

 

“Oh, okay. I understand.”

 

Eleanor followed Daryl to his office. Her heart was pounding again. She had to try hard not to show her inner turmoil.

 

“Another invitation came from the palace.”

 

As soon as Eleanor sat on the sofa, Daryl said this and handed her a familiar card.

 

“It seems that the Empress likes you quite a bit.”

 

“That’s really…I’m flattered.”

 

Eleanor opened the card and quickly read it with her eyes. Like the last time, it was an invitation for the couple. The date was June 18th. Coincidentally, it was Eleanor’s birthday.