If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

‘…Impossible.’

 

Theodora’s eyes widened without her realizing it. Daryl seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was staring at him.

 

A while later, the dance ended. Aaron and Eleanor curtsied and walked back towards them.

 

“Wow, your wife is as lovely in her dance skills as she is in her beauty. I’m quite envious.”

 

“My wife lacks social experience and cannot distinguish between formal flattery and sincerity. If you compliment her too much, she might get the wrong idea.”

 

At Daryl’s cold words, Aaron feigned surprise and raised his eyebrows.

 

“Oh, what are you talking about? It’s all sincere.”

 

“…He’s right. Your praise is too generous.”

 

Eleanor spoke in a small voice.

 

“No, it’s not. Your skills were far from those of a beginner. I hope to see you often. Bring her out more often, Duke. Don’t monopolize such a beauty.”

 

Aaron patted Daryl’s shoulder and winked. Daryl’s face, staring at him, was stiff.

 

After Aaron left, Daryl extended his hand to Eleanor.

 

“Let’s dance another song.”

 

“…Right now? I’d like to rest for a bit…”

 

Looking at her, Eleanor seemed slightly out of breath. Upon closer inspection, her face also seemed a bit pale.

 

“You’ve only danced one song. You’re not saying you’re already tired, are you?”

 

“No, but…”

 

“Or do you not want to dance with me?”

 

“…”

 

“Duke. Your wife says she wants to rest.”

 

Theodora interjected with a frown. Daryl spoke in a cold voice.

 

“If you don’t want to, forget it.”

 

“…No.”

 

Eleanor took Daryl’s hand.

 

“Then, excuse me, Your Majesty the Empress.”

 

After bowing to Theodora, Daryl took Eleanor and went to the hall. His strides were quite fast, and Eleanor was seen struggling to keep up with him. Theodora watched their retreating figures with a furrowed brow.

 

‘Again… it’s happening.’

 

Eleanor gently pressed her chest. Her vision was spinning, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. It was the same symptom she felt during fatigue.

 

She was fine when she first entered the ballroom. She was fine when she greeted the Empress. But after being asked to dance by the Crown Prince and stepping into the hall, she began to feel unwell as soon as she became aware of the many eyes watching her.

 

Eleanor tried to focus on the dance moves and steps as much as possible, not looking around. Somehow, she managed to finish the song without making a mistake. She thought she would be okay once she returned to Daryl’s side. She was fine when she was with him before.

 

But that wasn’t the case. Now that she was back in the dance hall, in the middle of the ballroom, Eleanor’s condition was worse than ever. She felt like she would collapse if she let her guard down.

 

“…Daryl, I…”

 

She wanted to say that she couldn’t do it, that she couldn’t dance. But before she could, the music started, and Daryl roughly pulled Eleanor towards him.

 

“Daryl…”

 

Eleanor called Daryl, panting. But Daryl ignored her and continued to dance. Eleanor staggered and stepped on Daryl’s foot. His lips twisted in discomfort.

 

“Dance properly. Don’t pretend to be clumsy now.”

 

She wanted to say that wasn’t it. But she couldn’t speak properly. She couldn’t even lift her head straight.

 

“Eleanor.”

 

“…..”

 

“Eleanor―”

 

Her vision flickered white. Eleanor lost consciousness and slumped over his arm.

 

***

 

When she opened her eyes, she was in a strange room. She was lying on a long sofa, covered with a silk shawl.

 

Eleanor sat up abruptly and looked around. She saw the back of a man standing in front of her. It was Daryl.

 

“…Daryl.”

 

Daryl turned around. He lowered the cigar he was holding and exhaled a cloud of smoke.

 

“What happened? Where is this…”

 

“Did you hate it that much?”

 

“…Pardon?”

 

“Dancing with me, did you hate it that much?”

 

“…..”

 

Daryl was looking down at Eleanor with an icy gaze. Eleanor faintly furrowed her brows. She put her hand on her forehead, then shook her head from side to side.

 

“No, Daryl, that’s not it…”

 

“Then why? Explain it to me. You danced perfectly fine with the Crown Prince, but when it was our turn, you suddenly collapsed. What’s the reason?”

 

“… ”

 

“Couldn’t you have endured it for a moment? It was just a few minutes. You couldn’t bear it, caused a scene in front of so many people, and embarrassed me?”

 

“Daryl. That’s not it. I didn’t do it on purpose, my body suddenly…”

 

“The palace doctor said there’s nothing wrong with your body.”

 

“…….”

 

“You don’t have a fever, your breathing and pulse are normal. ‘I’m not sure, but it seems to be a psychological cause,’ he said. For a moment, I thought it was real. I thought you were seriously ill. Is it fun to deceive people? Are you happy to make me a fool?”

 

Eleanor bit her lip.

 

“…Daryl. No, I really…It wasn’t a sham. I really…”

 

“I know. That’s why I asked. Did you hate it that much?”

 

“…Pardon?”

 

“To the point of losing consciousness due to repulsion, did you hate dancing with me that much?”

 

“……”

 

Daryl looked at the speechless Eleanor and chuckled.

 

“So you hated me that much, but you pretended to be cheerful and made a face you didn’t mean. It’s no wonder you broke down.”

 

“… ”

 

Daryl walked to the ashtray and stubbed out the cigar he was holding. Then he spat out his words.

 

“Get up. We have to report to Her Majesty the Empress that you’ve woken up.”

 

“……”

 

Eleanor quietly got up and followed Daryl.

 

****

 

“Are you really okay now?”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty the Empress. I apologize for causing you concern.”

 

Theodora looked at Eleanor, who was bowing to her, with a worried gaze. Her complexion was definitely much better than before, and there were no noticeable symptoms.

 

“I made an unnecessary demand on a weak child. I didn’t know that this was the reason you didn’t go out much.”

 

At Theodora’s words, Eleanor was startled and raised her head.

 

“No, Your Majesty the Empress. Please take back your words.”

 

“That’s right. She’s not as frail as she looks, so you don’t need to worry.”

 

Daryl spoke in a decidedly sarcastic tone. Theodora frowned without realizing it.

 

“Duke of Griffith. Can you say that after seeing your wife faint right in front of you? If you hadn’t forced her to dance in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened.”

 

“I apologize.”

 

Daryl bowed his head respectfully. His apology was so immediate and clean that it clearly seemed insincere.

 

‘…I can’t tell if he cares for his wife or not.’

 

From what she observed today, it was clear that Daryl harbored a significant amount of possessiveness and monopoly towards Eleanor. It was surprising, as she thought he would only consider her a minor annoyance.

 

But whether that could be called affection was another matter. A loving husband would never force his visibly unwell wife to dance, nor would he speak to her so coldly.

 

“I believe it’s not anyone’s fault but mine for what happened due to my negligence. I will be careful not to show such an embarrassing sight in front of Your Majesty the Empress again.”

 

Eleanor spoke in a quiet voice. Seeing her like this made her feel sorry for her again.

 

“…Come to think of it, I haven’t given you a wedding gift.”

 

“His Majesty the Emperor has already given us a generous gift.”

 

Theodora shook her head at Daryl’s words.

 

“I’m talking about a personal gift. Tell me, child. Is there anything you want?”

 

“I am grateful for your words alone.”

 

“Don’t refuse. If there’s anything you can think of, tell me. Preferably something that can be kept for a long time.”

 

Eleanor hesitated for a moment before speaking.

 

“…If it’s a gift from Your Majesty, I will gratefully accept anything.”

 

“How about…a horse? There’s a gentle and pretty mare named Molstead. The weather will be nice soon, so you can ride it and take a leisurely walk around. It’s not good for your health to stay at home too much.”

 

“Your Majesty’s grace is boundless.”

 

Eleanor and Daryl both bowed. Theodora smiled quietly. Daryl wouldn’t be able to just leave the horse in the stable if it was a gift from her. It would also serve as an excuse for her to go out. It was an idea that came to her on the spot, but she thought it was quite a clever idea.

 

“Then rest now. We’ll celebrate again on my good day.”

 

“Your Majesty’s grace is boundless.”

 

The two of them bowed to Theodora and withdrew.