If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

As she blankly raised her head, there was a face looking down at her with concern. It was the woman she couldn’t fail to recognize even with her tear-blurred vision, Eleanor Townsend.

 

The moment she recognized her, she felt as if ice water had been poured on her neck and she came to her senses. Layla pushed her away and got up. As she was about to stumble, Eleanor caught her again and supported her.

 

“Be careful.”

 

“Let go!”

 

At Layla’s hysterical scream, Eleanor hesitated and let go of her hand. Layla wiped her mouth and cheeks and staggered backwards.

 

It was the worst. Why did she have to run into this woman out of all people? She didn’t want to show her current state to anyone, even more to her. It was clear that the heavens hated her. What sin had she committed to deserve this?

 

Eleanor looked at Layla hesitantly.

 

“…Miss Layla.”

 

“Don’t come near me!”

 

She shouted forcefully and vomited again. Layla bent over and vomited out the contents of her stomach. In the meantime, she seemed to hear footsteps and the sound of a door opening, and then she felt a soft cloth covering her shoulder.

 

“Hold my hand. Can you stand up?”

 

“Don’t… touch me…!”

 

“I’m sorry. But you’re having a hard time right now, Miss Layla. I’ll take you to your room. Please let me do that. Okay?”

 

“I don’t need it!”

 

Layla pushed Eleanor away with all her might. Eleanor staggered backwards. Layla glared at her with tear-filled eyes.

 

“I’d rather die than accept your help.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor’s eyes darkened as if a shadow had fallen over them. She lowered her eyes quietly.

 

“…I’ll call someone. Don’t overdo it and stay here.”

 

“……”

 

With her lips bitten until they bled, Layla glared at Eleanor’s retreating figure. After she disappeared, Layla threw the shawl that had been around her shoulders on the floor.

 

Soon, Layla’s maid, Sara, came running. She took Layla to her room, changed her clothes, and prepared a bath. Once the anger subsided, a wave of embarrassment and sadness washed over her. But she didn’t want to show her crying face to the maid, so Leila held back her tears as much as she could.

 

“…Sara.”

 

“Yes, Miss.”

 

“…Tonight’s incident, to my older brother.”

 

“Of course. Don’t worry.”

 

As she soaked in the warm bathtub, she felt a little better. Layla blankly watched Sara wipe her body with a wet cloth.

 

‘Come to think of it, why was that woman there? Wasn’t she spending the night with my brother…’

 

She might have been rejected by her older brother. After all, he had said from the beginning that it was just a formal marriage. It’s understandable that he wouldn’t want to sleep with a woman entangled in such a scandal. Thinking this way made her feel much better.

 

The argument with Benjamin was probably not because he had any feelings for that woman. Maybe Benjamin also.

 

‘Yes, it must be… Who would like such an unlucky woman…’

 

Her eyes were getting heavy. Layla, sitting in the bathtub, soon began to doze off.

 

****

 

“Did you clean up?”

 

Eleanor asked Emily, who had come to report after following her instructions.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m sorry for the late night. I drank too much and made a mistake.”

 

Emily hesitated for a moment, wondering what to say, then muttered, “…Yes.”

 

“Then you can go. Good night.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Emily nodded and left the room. Eleanor sighed. She felt strange every time she saw her.

 

Although Emily was quite rude and insincere compared to the maids of the main house, Eleanor didn’t think that was her true intention. In fact, there were many times when she unconsciously acted politely, then seemed surprised and changed her attitude, or seemed at a loss because she thought her attitude was too much. Sometimes she answered ‘Yes, ma’am…’ and then became thoughtful.

 

In the end, all of that was not voluntary, but due to orders from above. Seeing a 13-year-old child act like that, she couldn’t bring herself to be harsh on her for being rude.

 

Layla was the same. She was still young. Considering the environment Layla grew up in, and all the background tied to the Duke’s family and herself, it was natural for her to harbor a bitter hatred towards Eleanor.

 

Eleanor turned off the bedside lamp and lay down. It was a bitter night. Especially today.

 

The only consolation was the fact that this day had passed, and that she had finally torn off a page from the calendar towards the promised year.

 

****

 

The next morning, Layla had breakfast in her room. She was reluctant to go out and face others because of what had happened last night. Of course, Sara promised to keep the secret, but she wasn’t the only one who knew about the incident.

 

‘…Surely that woman wouldn’t tell my older brother.’

 

Just thinking about it made her feel like her face was on fire. But she didn’t want to beg that woman to keep the secret.

 

‘If that woman told…If my brother knows… I’ll die. I’ll just die.’

 

Layla decided with a gloomy mood. Naturally, she had no appetite. She pecked at her food and put down her fork after a few bites.

 

“That’s enough. Clear it away.”

 

“Yes, Miss.”

 

Two maids in charge of meals came in and started clearing the plates. But they exchanged strange glances and seemed to be snickering.

 

“…Why?”

 

When she asked because she felt uneasy, one of the maids brightened her eyes and said, “Actually, Miss, that’s…” as if she had been waiting for it. Then the other maid elbowed her.

 

“Why? What’s the story?”

 

The two maids rolled their eyes with their hands together.

 

“I won’t get angry, so tell me.”

 

The maid who initially started to speak finally opened her mouth again after seeing Layla’s reaction.

“You know, the woman in the room at the end of the east wing. She made a mistake in the hallway because she drank too much yesterday.”

 

The maid laughed with her hand over her mouth. The other maid elbowed her again, giving her a hint, but she too had a smirk on her face. Layla felt her expression harden without realizing it.

 

“…What?”

 

“She vomited from drinking. She must have been quite excited about finally having her wedding and becoming the Duchess yesterday. Because of that, she spent her first night in separate rooms with her husband.”

 

“Who did you hear that from?”

 

When the maids noticed Layla’s unusual expression, the laughter disappeared from their faces. As if with tacit understanding, they both straightened their posture at the same time.

 

“From Emily, who is in charge of her.”

 

“Are you sure? She didn’t just shift the blame for her mistake to her, did she?”

 

At Layla’s words, the maids were startled and waved their hands.

 

“No, absolutely not! Emily said she heard it directly from her. She confessed that she did it. It’s true.”

 

“…..”

 

She felt indescribably upset and complicated. First, she was surprised that the woman had gone to such lengths to cover up her mistake, and while she was angry and hurt that she had done such a thing without being asked, she also felt relieved that she was not the subject of the rumor.

 

The maids were anxiously rolling their eyes in front of Layla, who was silently stiffening.

 

“You two.”

 

“Yes, Miss.”

 

“That woman, that person, your tone is too rude even for servants. No matter what, she is now my older brother’s wife and someone you should serve. What would happen if what you just gossiped about reached my older brother’s ears?”

 

At that, the maids’ faces turned pale.

 

“Ah, Miss. I didn’t mean that―”

 

“Please, forgive us, Miss! We were wrong!”

 

The maid who had initially stopped the other maid’s words bent over quickly, covering her mouth. The other maid quickly caught on and bowed her head, saying, “I’m sorry! Please forgive us!”

 

She knew very well that she was being extremely hypocritical right now. Even on a regular basis, she always bad-mouthed Eleanor Townsend in front of the maids, and she had just promised not to scold them in advance. From the maids’ point of view, it was not strange to jump up and down in frustration.

 

“…Since I said it in advance, I’ll let it go this time. But from now on, be careful what you say, whenever and wherever. If not, you’ll be kicked out of this mansion overnight.”

 

“Yes, Miss! We’ll keep that in mind!”

 

The maids cleared the remaining food and quickly disappeared outside.

 

Layla bit her lip gently. Even though it left a bad taste in her mouth, it couldn’t have been this bad.