If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

[―I should have asked you in person, but I couldn’t due to circumstances, so I hope you can visit me. Even if it’s difficult, I’ll understand.

 

1. L. Townsend.]

 

The cultured sentences and the delicate and beautiful handwriting. He thought he was somewhat attracted to her at that point.

 

[Are you Viscount Brooke? I’m Eleanor Townsend. Thank you for coming.]

 

When Benjamin visited the Townsend residence, he couldn’t help but be surprised. He thought she would be an older woman from the letter, but a young woman who seemed to have just outgrown her girlhood greeted him.

 

But once they started talking, it made sense. Eleanor’s speech and demeanor were impressively mature and dignified for her age. It didn’t feel like she was pretending to be an adult. It just felt natural with her calm demeanor.

 

Moreover, Eleanor was quite beautiful. It was strange that he had never heard of a woman with such beauty and culture, who would likely be quite famous in social circles.

 

Eleanor presented Benjamin with three paintings.

 

[I was wondering if you could sell these paintings.]

 

One was a watercolor, and the other two were oil paintings. A flower bed in a garden, maids at work, and a small bird perched on a branch. The style was unfamiliar. At least it wasn’t a painting by an artist he knew.

 

It was strange. The themes were monotonous and simple, like those found in practice works, but the works themselves were surprisingly intense and deep. The depiction was detailed, but the brushwork and use of color were largely expressionistic. It was as if a thoroughbred horse, carefully bred, had been released into the wild and raised freely.

 

[Who is the artist?]

 

At Benjamin’s question, Eleanor hesitated for a moment.

 

[A newcomer I know…I was curious if the paintings could be sold…]

 

[Is it an artist sponsored by your father?]

 

Eleanor made a strange face. When Benjamin looked at her curiously, she spoke in a low voice.

 

[My father passed away before I was born, and my mother followed him two years ago. Now, I am the owner of this mansion. You can think of the painter of these paintings… as someone I am sponsoring.]

 

[……..]

 

At Eleanor’s words, Benjamin couldn’t help but be taken aback. It was hard to believe that such a young woman was running a household on her own. Usually, in such cases, it was customary to be entrusted to relatives or adopted into another family.

 

What could be the circumstances? He was curious, but he couldn’t be rude enough to ask a lady about her personal affairs.

 

[Are the paintings not good enough to sell?]

 

Eleanor asked cautiously. Benjamin shook his head.

 

[No. I see them as works with potential, unbelievable for a new artist. I would like to see more paintings if possible.]

 

At his words, Eleanor’s face brightened significantly.

 

[Is that true?]

 

[Yes. I will purchase all three pieces.]

 

At the price Benjamin offered, Eleanor nodded without a word.

 

[Okay. Then I’ll leave it to you.]

 

[Please contact me if the painter entrusts you with other works or creates new ones. What is the artist’s name?]

 

At Benjamin’s question, Eleanor looked a bit awkward.

 

[Do I have to disclose the name? The person is reluctant to reveal their identity…]

 

[It doesn’t have to be their real name. In fact, there are artists who work under pseudonyms.]

 

[Then I’ll pass that on. Thank you very much, Viscount Brooke.]

 

Eleanor seemed quite pleased. It was surprising and impressive to see her like this, as she had been consistently calm and hardly showed any emotion until then. Her slightly flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes made Eleanor look her age for the first time.

 

Was that painter such a special existence to Eleanor? Watching her express her gratitude with a bright smile, Benjamin felt a faint jealousy towards that mysterious person.

 

And he couldn’t help but be embarrassed when he realized his feelings that was a beat late.

 

He had attended many social gatherings, both public and private, and mingled with various women each time. Among them were stunning beauties and women who were so lively and witty that the conversation was always filled with laughter. But he had never felt a ‘fluttering’ feeling for anyone.

 

That’s not to say he was anxious or thought he was strange. It was extremely rare for aristocratic children to marry for love. This was especially true for wealthy and prestigious families.

 

Eventually, he would marry a suitable partner when the time came. Then, all he had to do was devote himself to his wife and fulfill his duties. It was a hundred times better than being irresponsible and enjoying a secret affair with someone else, while having a fiancée.

 

But now, Benjamin felt a clear attraction to Eleanor. To a woman he had just met, and even for business reasons. The surprise was greater because he considered himself a person with clear self-awareness.

 

[What’s wrong?]

 

Eleanor tilted her head. Benjamin took his wavering gaze away from her.

 

[…It’s nothing. Please contact me when the artist’s name is confirmed.]

 

Even after parting with Eleanor, the turmoil in his heart did not subside easily. It was difficult to identify what it was because it was a feeling he had never felt before. The only certainty was that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get her out of his mind.

 

[Where have you been?]

 

When he returned home, his father Archibald asked.

 

[I bought a few paintings from a new artist. They seemed quite promising to my eyes. Would you like to see them?]

 

When Archibald agreed, Benjamin laid out the three paintings he had bought from Eleanor in front of him. Archibald stroked his chin and nodded.

 

[They certainly have character. Despite the disappointing subject matter, they have an eye-catching charm. What’s the artist’s name?]

 

[I don’t know yet.]

 

[You don’t know?]

 

[I didn’t meet the artist in person. Miss Townsend of the Loud was the one who handled the transaction. She said she was sponsoring the artist.]

 

The eyes of Archibald, behind his magnifying glasses, narrowed.

 

[Miss Townsend? …Eleanor Townsend?]

 

[Do you know her?]

 

[Of course. Anyone living in the capital would know. ]

 

Seeing his son’s puzzled face, Archibald made a ridiculous expression.

 

[Don’t you know? She’s the daughter of Sylvia Townsend, who died recently. You know, the one rumored to be the illegitimate child of Duke Griffith…]

 

Hearing that, all his questions were answered. Why Eleanor was living alone at such a young age, why he had never seen her in social circles before. And even the reason why Eleanor made a subtle expression when he asked, ‘Is it an artist your father is sponsoring?’ All of it.

 

Eleanor was surprised that Benjamin didn’t know about her.

 

The rumors about Duke Griffith, his legitimate wife, and the illegitimate child were also well known to Benjamin. He disliked gossip, so he didn’t join in others’ conversations or bring it up himself, so he didn’t remember the specific names.

 

[…That can’t be true.]

 

His voice, which slipped out unintentionally, was surprisingly stiff. Archibald coughed awkwardly.

 

[No… Of course. Rumors are just rumors. It’s not like Duke Griffith would do such a dishonest thing.]

 

[Miss Townsend is the same. She didn’t seem like a woman who would be involved in such rumors.]

 

Benjamin was unaware of the contradiction in his words. In the first place, an illegitimate child had no choice. Her character and integrity had nothing to do with the truth of the rumors.

 

Archibald quietly watched Benjamin, who had a stern expression.

 

[How is she doing? It’s not easy for a woman her age to live alone.]

 

[…Don’t tell me, she has no relatives to take her in because of that rumor?]

 

[No, I heard she refused herself. Even when Duke Griffith personally arranged for her adoption.]