If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“Lord, you haven’t changed at all from the old days. Is that the secret of all these years?”

 

Marianne smiled with a slight frown.

 

“Well, how about it? Why don’t we find out together tonight?”

 

“It’s an interesting offer, but I’ll decline. I’m busy looking for the Duke right now. Where on earth did he go, leaving his new bride alone.”

 

“Whoa, whoa. Just wait a minute.”

 

Anthony quickly grabbed Marianne, who was about to leave right away.

 

“I think I saw him meeting someone outside earlier. They seemed to be going somewhere together.”

 

“Who?”

 

“I don’t know. It was a woman. Blonde hair, and the dress was either red or purple. I don’t remember well.”

 

“…Is that true?”

 

Of course, it was a blatant lie. If Marianne couldn’t find Daryl as it is, she would return to Eleanor. Then Anthony’s plan would be ruined.

 

“Yeah. I think it was in the direction of the north garden. Well, they must be having a good time in a secluded place by now.”

 

“..…”

 

Marianne had a thoughtful expression. It was a feeling mixed half and half with doubt about whether to believe Anthony’s words as they were, and worry about what if it was true.

 

“Shall we go together?”

 

“With you, Lord? I’ll refuse because it seems like it would cause unnecessary misunderstandings.”

 

“That’s too much. Well. Then go and look for yourself.”

 

“But then, the Duchess will be alone all the time…”

 

“If you’re worried about that, I’ll be with her.”

 

Marianne looked at Anthony with suspicious eyes. Anthony smirked.

 

“What’s with that look? Don’t worry, I won’t do anything unnecessary. No matter how much I am, I wouldn’t do anything inappropriate to my sister-in-law, especially in a place where there are so many eyes.”

 

Marianne sighed heavily after pondering with a skeptical look.

 

“If you say so, I’ll believe you. I’ll be back soon, so you have to keep your promise.”

 

“Sure. It’s the north garden. Try looking behind the gazebo at the top. It’s a very good spot.”

 

“…Ah, yes.”

 

Mariane  shook her head and hurriedly left. Anthony laughed and brought the glass to his lips.

 

After Nancy left, Eleanor was standing alone in a corner of the reception hall.

 

Her dizziness was getting worse. Suddenly, she was short of breath and her stomach was churning.

 

‘Why am I like this?’

 

It couldn’t have been because of Nancy. Of course, there were bitter and regretful feelings, but it wasn’t impossible to understand Nancy’s feelings. She can contact her again in a year. She can explain the situation and clear up the misunderstanding. She tied the knot in herself like that.

 

Eleanor was the host of today’s wedding and officially became the mistress of the Duke’s house. Even though she didn’t actually have such authority or receive such treatment, she needed to look like that in front of the guests at least. The fact did not change even if no one approached her first. Rather, she had to be more composed because of that.

 

But the more she was conscious of the people around her, the worse her physical condition became. No matter how much she tried to pull herself together, it didn’t work as she thought. It seemed like everyone was sending her a look of criticism and contempt. The sound of people’s voices all sounded like murmurs towards her.

 

“The Duke… really… pervert…”

 

“How could he be with his half-sister… terrible…”

 

She got goosebumps and broke out in a cold sweat at the words that were heard sporadically. She couldn’t tell if what she was hearing was real or hallucination.

 

Eleanor, who had been pretending to be okay as much as possible, couldn’t anymore. She bent forward with her hand over her mouth. Her head was spinning and she felt like she was going to faint at any moment.

 

The sound of people murmuring grew louder. She heard footsteps approaching from afar, and someone supported Eleanor.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

At the voice of a stranger, Eleanor flinched. She tried to push the man away even in her disoriented state.

 

“I’m… I’m fine. I can stand on my own.”

 

“Don’t push yourself. I’ll call someone.”

 

“No. You don’t have to do that.”

 

Eleanor shook her head. She didn’t want to attract attention by causing a commotion.

 

“But…”

 

“I’m really okay. Thank you. I’m fine now.”

 

Eleanor leaned against the wall and steadied herself, swaying. As she closed her eyes and took deep breaths, her condition gradually calmed down. Eleanor exhaled a weak breath and slowly opened her eyes. Someone standing next to her came into view through her blurred vision.

 

“…Are you feeling a bit better?”

 

Eleanor blinked and looked at him. The focus that had been blurry gradually returned, and finally, Eleanor was able to recognize the face of the one who helped her.

 

“…Lord Brooke?”

 

With his eyebrows slightly furrowed, the man looking at her with a worried expression was undoubtedly Benjamin Gallahad. There was no mistaking his delicate and beautiful face.

 

Benjamin had been Eleanor’s art dealer for several years. Not only did he personally collect and sell the paintings she entrusted to him, but he also helped her in many ways.

 

‘How did Lord Brooke get here… Ah, he was invited to the wedding.’

 

Come to think of it, she hadn’t even seen the guest list for the wedding. She hadn’t been allowed to get involved in anything, and just followed orders. The fact that she was aware of it made her feel bitter again, which made her realize that her current state was definitely not good.

 

“You look very pale. Please tell me if you feel uncomfortable anywhere.”

 

Benjamin’s voice was lower and more serious than ever.

 

“No. I’m fine now. I was just a little dizzy.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. Really.”

 

Eleanor gave Benjamin a faint smile. Benjamin still looked puzzled, but he didn’t ask any further. He called a passing servant to bring some water.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Eleanor took the glass of water Benjamin handed her and drank it. As she swallowed, she felt a bit better.

 

“Did you come alone?”

 

“No, I came with my father.”

 

“I see. Is it okay to leave your father alone?”

 

“He’s having a conversation with his acquaintances. I don’t think I need to be there, so you don’t have to worry.”

 

“……”

 

Eleanor made an awkward face. She had spoken indirectly, but she thought Benjamin would understand what she meant.

 

She didn’t want others to see them together if possible. Of course, unless they were having a secret meeting in a secluded place, having a brief conversation at a place like this wasn’t a big deal.

 

But right now, she didn’t want to give people even the slightest chance to gossip about her. She was self-conscious about the attention she was getting at her first public appearance at a wedding, to the point where she was feeling unwell.

 

The rumors that had been attached to her like a tag since birth had made Eleanor a perfectionist.

 

‘Do I look that bad?’

 

Eleanor glanced at Benjamin, who was silently standing by her side. It was surprising that he was still by her side, as the Benjamin she knew was very good at picking up on cues and being considerate.

 

Eleanor was right. It was true that she looked worse than usual, but it was also true that Benjamin was pretending not to notice the signals she was sending.

 

Of course, he was mostly worried about Eleanor’s health. But that wasn’t all. He was also quite worried about the fact that she was left alone at her first party on her wedding day, in her current condition.

 

No, worry wasn’t the right word. It was more like anger.

 

He was angry at Daryl Lloyd, who had left the bride alone at the wedding reception and was now nowhere to be found.

 

Benjamin first met Eleanor four years ago, when she was eighteen. It was not long after Benjamin had taken over his father, Count Reuben’s art business.

 

It started with a letter. It said she had a painting she wanted to sell and asked if it was worth anything.