If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

[…What?]

 

[No matter what you say, uncle, I will not cancel the wedding that has already been decided. It would be the same even if it were someone other than you. So think carefully. Whether it is wise for you to continue to hold your current position.]

 

[Daryl, you dare―]

 

[I’m saying that if you, the closest relative of the Duke, the Duke of Roland, deny this marriage, it’s no different from openly acknowledging the rumors of the nobility.]

 

[…..…]

 

Looking straight at Robert, who had lost his words, Daryl spoke impassively.

 

[If you truly value the honor of my late mother, I believe you know what you should do.]

 

In the end, Robert not only attended the wedding but also accepted the request to act as the father of the bride. It must have been a difficult decision for him, but the effect was certain. As evidence, a small ripple went through the guests the moment Robert, holding Eleanor’s hand, entered the venue.

 

Robert had publicly criticized Frederick for his dealings with Sylvia and Eleanor during Frederick’s lifetime. Since that incident had been on the lips of the nobility for quite some time, the significance of this event was all the greater.

 

Soon, the bride and Robert arrived at the altar. Daryl took the bride’s hand from his uncle and bowed.

 

Daryl lifted the veil that Eleanor was wearing. And then he paused without realizing it. At the same time, low exclamations burst out from various places among the guests.

 

Her pale blonde hair was elegantly twisted up, revealing her dazzlingly white skin underneath. Her downcast eyelashes cast a dense shadow, and her lips, as if they were soaked in flower nectar, were redder than ever. While Daryl was momentarily distracted, Eleanor slowly lifted her eyelids. Her wide blue eyes rested on Daryl’s face with a look of wonder.

 

“…Daryl?”

 

At Eleanor’s soft call, Daryl flinched. He dropped the veil and lowered his hand.

 

When he turned to face the altar, the priest who was officiating cleared his throat softly and opened his mouth.

 

“Dear guests, today we have gathered for the holy wedding of this man and woman.”

 

The priest’s ongoing words were just echoing in Daryl’s ears, not sinking in. Daryl couldn’t identify the lump stuck in his throat like a fishbone. He glanced at Eleanor standing next to him. As always, Eleanor had a calm face with slightly downcast eyes. An expression that said everything around her had no meaning to her.

 

Seeing her face, a faint bitter taste was felt in his mouth. Daryl slightly twisted his tightly closed lips.

 

“Do you, Daryl Allen Lloyd, take Eleanor Lorraine Townsend as your wife and swear to spend your life with her?”

 

‘No way.’

 

Daryl swallowed the rising nausea impulsively.

 

“Yes.”

 

To the same question, Eleanor calmly replied, “I swear.”

 

“Please exchange rings as a token of your vows.”

 

Daryl took Eleanor’s hand and pulled off her glove. The touch of silk against bare skin made Eleanor slightly shrug her shoulders. Daryl glanced at Eleanor and put the ring on her left ring finger. The finger was smaller and more delicate than he thought. It seemed like it would break easily if he applied the wrong force. Eleanor then put a ring on Daryl’s finger in turn.

 

The priest, with his wrinkled eyes thinly opened, smiled contentedly.

 

“In the name of God, I now declare you husband and wife.”

 

As soon as the wedding ceremony ended, raindrops began to fall as if they had been waiting for this moment. The guests hurriedly moved to the reception hall. It was an annex used as a banquet hall in Chatsworth House.

 

A little later, Eleanor, who had changed her dress, entered the reception hall. It was a blue satin dress with star-shaped decorations. Earlier, it was hard to walk properly without someone’s help, but now she was much more comfortable.

 

The reception hall was full of people. It was the first time she had seen so many people gathered in one place since she was born. Overwhelmed by the scenery and the noisy sound in front of her, she even felt a slight dizziness. Eleanor unknowingly stopped in her tracks.

 

“Where is the Duke? Please wait here for a moment, Eleanor. I’ll find him right away.”

 

At Marianne’s words, Eleanor hurriedly grabbed her arm.

 

“No, Marianne. It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

 

She actually wanted to say, “No, just stay with me.” But Marianne seemed oblivious to Eleanor’s feelings and tilted her head.

 

“Huh? No, I can’t do that. There are so many people that need to be introduced to Eleanor. Just wait a moment. I’ll be back soon.”

 

“Ah…”

 

In the end, Marianne left Eleanor and disappeared into the crowd.

 

People around her began to notice Eleanor one by one. But no one came up and started a conversation. They glanced at her from a distance, and when their eyes met, they avoided her gaze as if they didn’t know her.

 

Like a game of tag, their gazes formed a large band around Eleanor. The whispers they whispered to each other surrounded Eleanor like an incomprehensible spell. Feeling the dizziness intensify, Eleanor put her hand on her forehead. The colors in her field of vision seemed to blur and overlap like spreading paint.

 

“Duchess?”

 

At the voice calling her, Eleanor quickly raised her head. It took a while to recognize who the woman in front of her was.

 

“…Nancy?”

 

“Yes, it’s been a while.”

 

Nancy Radner was Eleanor’s only friend of the same age, introduced by Baroness Hamilton, the chaperone arranged by the Duke during his lifetime. She was the eldest daughter of a poor lower noble family and had lost her mother at an even younger age than Eleanor.

 

Taking care of her three younger siblings and managing the household on her father’s tight income, she couldn’t even dream of making her social debut. Baroness Hamilton, who was a friend of Nancy’s mother in her maiden days, felt sorry for Nancy and gave her the lady’s education that her mother should have given her.

 

Nancy and Eleanor were of the same age and had similar circumstances. That’s why Baroness Hamilton introduced them to each other. Eleanor liked Nancy, her first friend since birth. After completely giving up on her social debut, she stopped visiting Baroness Hamilton and Nancy, but she had been exchanging letters with Nancy ever since.

 

How long has it been since they last met? Four years? Five years? That’s why Nancy looked so different from Eleanor’s memory. Nevertheless, the reason Eleanor could recognize Nancy was because some of her childhood features were still there.

 

Features like her curly brown hair with a reddish hue and freckles spreading wide over her nose. In fact, the surprise at her friend’s changed appearance was far outweighed by the joy of seeing her after a long time.

 

“Are you okay? You look pale.”

 

“I just got a little dizzy. I’m fine now.”

 

At Nancy’s words, Eleanor shook her head slightly and smiled. She stepped closer to Nancy and firmly held her hands.

 

“Thank you for coming. I’m really glad to see you. How have you been?”

 

“…I’ve been just okay, you know.”

 

Nancy seemed to try to smile as she said that, but in reality, she only slightly twitched the corners of her mouth. Her face looked strangely tired.

 

Nancy was also still unmarried. According to her letters, she hadn’t found a suitable partner yet, but Eleanor knew it was because of her family situation. She was in a situation where she couldn’t even afford a decent dowry, and there was no one to take care of the household until her younger brother got married.

 

Eleanor felt both pity and empathy for Nancy, who had to sacrifice her own life for her family. They never directly mentioned each other’s situations, but there was a sense of solidarity between them that went beyond simple friendship. At least Eleanor believed so.

 

“You’ve changed a lot. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

 

At Nancy’s words, Eleanor smiled awkwardly.

 

“It’s because of the makeup. It’s hard to wear such unfamiliar clothes. My waist is so tight, it’s hard to breathe.”

 

“…Well, at least you look pretty. There are so many people who want to wear such expensive dresses but can’t.”

 

“Ah…”

 

When Eleanor lost her words for a moment, Nancy chuckled.

 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not saying that. Even if I tried it on, it wouldn’t suit me.”

 

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