If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“I still deeply remember the grace of the dowry you gave me out of pity for my mother and me.”

 

Upon hearing this, Theodora widened her eyes slightly.

 

“Do you remember that? You were very young then.”

 

“How could I dare to forget when I received such an overflowing dowry. My late mother also remembered it all her life and repeatedly said that we should find a way to repay you. I am overwhelmed to have this opportunity to express my gratitude directly.”

 

Eleanor placed her hand on her chest and bowed her head.

 

“If it weren’t for the dowry, I wouldn’t be here today. I truly thank you.”

 

“……”

 

Theodora looked at Eleanor with a strange feeling. She couldn’t deny the thought that she would have liked her very much if they had met differently. She would have said that she was a remarkable and excellent child who had grown up so hard, and she would have definitely helped her to be recognized in the social world.

 

Yes. If she wasn’t Sylvia Townsend’s daughter.

 

Regardless of what Sylvia was to Frederick, or what happened between them, it actually had nothing to do with Eleanor. Knowing this, Theodora still couldn’t accept Eleanor with a happy heart.

 

But unlike Theodora, the emperor seemed to only see Eleanor as very pretty.

 

“There’s no need to be so stiff. As the empress said, it’s a long time ago. Besides, the actual credit for taking care of you and your mother belongs to the late duke. You just need to serve your husband with gratitude for him.”

 

“I will keep that in mind, Your Majesty.”

 

Eleanor bowed to the emperor and retreated to stand next to Daryl. The emperor smiled with a satisfied face.

 

“What a lovely pair. Isn’t it, Empress? It reminds me of our young days.”

 

“…Yes. I guess so.”

 

“I give my gift in the spirit of blessing, the future Duke and Duchess. Take it with you.”

 

“I sincerely thank you, Your Majesty.”

 

Daryl bowed his head in respect. Afterward, they withdrew from the royal presence at the emperor’s command.

 

“She’s a pretty child. She must have inherited her beauty from her mother. No wonder Frederick was so smitten.”

 

At the emperor’s mutterings, Theodora furrowed her brows.

 

“Surely Your Majesty doesn’t believe that baseless rumor.”

 

“Does the Empress have a different opinion?”

 

“The late Duke of Griffith was a man of noble character. To think that he had ulterior motives in his good deeds because the deceased Lady Dashwood was a beautiful woman is a slander against the deceased.”

 

At Theodora’s words, the emperor chuckled bitterly.

 

“Oh, oh. Does the Empress still not understand men at her age? It’s no different from a bee seeking honey for a man to be captivated by beauty. No matter how decent they pretend to be, their true feelings are all the same.”

 

“Surely there’s not a single exception among so many men.”

 

“There isn’t.”

 

The emperor grinned and slowly looked Theodora up and down.

 

“Well, the Empress might not know.”

 

“……”

 

Heat rushed to her face in an instant. She felt as if her limbs were stiffening from humiliation. The emperor ignored Theodora’s hardened expression and called for the court attendant.

 

****

 

Finally, the day of the wedding arrived.

 

During the preparation for the wedding, Daryl had given Philip instructions. [As simple as possible, but without diminishing the dignity of the Duke.] The ceremony was thoroughly conducted according to those instructions.

 

The wedding was usually held at the bride’s home, but this time, because Daryl had flatly said ‘it can’t be’, the venue was at Chatsworth House. Invitations were sent only to the high-ranking and close ones, excluding relatives from both sides. Journalists from various newspapers who gathered for coverage were only allowed access to the reception.

 

The Empire was located in the north of the continent, where the summer was short and the winter was long. Therefore, most weddings were concentrated in spring and summer. Every lady born into a noble family dreamed of being a bride in May or June. A bride should be surrounded by colorful flowers under the warm sunlight.

 

Therefore, a wedding held in November, when all the leaves have fallen and the streets were tinged with gray, was very unusual in itself. Especially considering that this was the wedding of the heir to the Duke of Griffith.

 

Eleanor was looking out the window while the maids were dressing her. Even though it was close to noon, the sky was still dark as if it was dawn due to the heavy clouds.

 

‘The sky probably doesn’t want to bless this fake wedding either.’

 

Eleanor had once dreamed of her wedding day. There was a time when she believed that she would someday be the romantic and love-filled protagonist of a wedding like in the books. That period was just extremely short compared to other girls. She realized too early that what was naturally given to others may not be allowed for her, so she didn’t even have a chance to be sad about it.

 

It was a marriage she would have refused if it was real. She accepted it because she knew it was fake. Nevertheless, seeing herself so perfectly dressed in the mirror, she felt strange. It was as if she was committing a major fraud against the world.

 

‘I wonder what my mother would have said if she saw me now. Would she have been happy? Would she have said I was beautiful? Even knowing that all of this is fake…’

 

While she was lost in such strange sentiments, Marianne entered the room.

 

“Oh, Eleanor. You’re so beautiful!”

 

Marianne placed her hand on Eleanor’s shoulder and smiled broadly. Although the smile was too well-crafted to have come from the heart, it didn’t feel false either.

 

“Now, are you ready to become the Duchess?”

 

According to the will, Daryl would formally succeed to the dukedom a year later, but officially, he was already known as the Duke of Griffith. This was because there was no proper way to explain the delay in the succession to the dukedom. Of course, all the territories associated with the dukedom were still managed by a proxy.

 

People would certainly call Eleanor the Duchess from now on. But Eleanor knew that it was a false name. It was an irony that precisely pierced her situation.

 

Eleanor responded with a quiet smile instead of words. She took Marianne’s outstretched hand and stood up.

 

Daryl was standing at the wedding altar, waiting for his bride. The cloudy sky seemed about to pour rain at any moment, making him anxious. The guests inside the venue also seemed to be thinking the same, occasionally looking up at the sky with furrowed brows.

 

The faces of those sitting in the family seats were all dark. Anthony, who was smiling brightly, was the only exception.

 

Cecilia insisted on wearing mourning clothes even on the day of the wedding. Her expression, with her lips tightly closed in apparent displeasure, felt like a kind of protest. This was because Daryl had cut off her incessant meddling in the wedding after the banquet night.

 

Layla also seemed uncomfortable. Since Eleanor had no sisters or female cousins of the same age, according to tradition, Layla should have been the bride’s maid. But Layla immediately refused Marianne’s request for that.

 

Of course, Daryl was not in a good mood either. Today was probably going to be the most dramatic day in his months-long farce.

 

Soon, the bride appeared at the other end of the Virgin Road. She was walking hand in hand with Robert, her face covered with a veil. Robert Cameron, the Duke of Roland, was the brother of Edith, Daryl’s mother. Daryl had asked his uncle to play the role of Eleanor’s father before the wedding.

 

(t/n: Virgin Road-It refers to the path the bride and groom walk together as one for the first time)

 

Robert also had a cold expression. It was not surprising. When he first heard that Daryl was marrying Eleanor, he was so outraged that he ran around in anger.

 

[How dare you commit such an outrageous act that can’t even be mentioned! Can you still hold your head up in front of Edith’s grave?]

 

Robert made a fuss as if it was a recognized fact that Eleanor was Frederick’s illegitimate child. It was typical of him to value the reputation of the family and be sensitive to gossip more than Cecilia. Daryl kept a non-reactive stance in front of Robert, and only opened his mouth when Robert was exhausted from his rage.

 

[Are you done?]

 

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