If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Seeing Eleanor’s face, Daryl hardened his expression faintly. His eyes were filled with guilt, as if he had inflicted the wound himself.

 

“Miss Townsend, how are you feeling?”

 

Instead of answering, Eleanor looked at Emily.

 

“Emily, could you leave us alone for a moment?”

 

“Ah, yes, Madam. I understand.”

 

Emily quickly got up and left the room. Daryl remained standing, unable to sit down or approach Eleanor.

 

“How am I here?”

 

“I saved you. I’m sorry. I had someone on standby in case of an emergency. I said I wouldn’t do that without your permission…”

 

“That’s not what I meant. How were you able to get me out of there?”

 

“Don’t worry. You’re safe now. That won’t happen again. I promise.”

 

“You didn’t answer my question. How did you do it? Even if you’re a duke, you can’t oppose the emperor and be unharmed.”

 

“…Are you worrying about me in this situation?”

 

Daryl looked slightly taken aback.

 

“Of course. How could I not worry?”

 

“As I said, you don’t need to worry about anything. Just rest and recover.”

 

“Duke.”

 

“If you think you owe me a debt because of this, don’t. It’s not you who’s in debt, it’s the Duke’s house.”

 

Daryl seemed to be suppressing his boiling anger as much as he could. It had been a long time since he had seen him like this.

 

“I should have prevented this incident from happening in the first place. I could have, and I should have, but I…”

 

“Why do you feel responsible for this incident, Duke?”

 

“There were enough signs when your exhibition was held in the palace. I’m sorry. I should have prevented it for sure, not in a half-hearted way. Then you wouldn’t have…”

 

Daryl bit his lip and trailed off.

 

“…you wouldn’t have had to suffer like this.”

 

He looked extremely distressed. Eleanor, momentarily at a loss for words, looked at him and then shook her head.

 

“That’s ridiculous. Who could have… predicted this? You don’t need to apologize to me, Duke. If anything, it’s the other way around.”

 

That’s right. It wasn’t the time to blame Daryl. If it weren’t for him, Eleanor would undoubtedly be…

 

“Thank you…for saving me. I should have said this first, please forgive my rudeness.”

 

“Forgive? Don’t say that. There’s nothing you need to ask my forgiveness for.”

 

Daryl quickly replied.

 

Eleanor was silent, looking down. There was a long silence in the room.

 

“…Then I’ll go.”

 

At her words, Daryl looked startled.

 

“You should rest now. We need to monitor your wound. I understand how you feel, but you should rest here tonight.”

 

“No, I have a lot to do because I was supposed to leave for Wembury today. The people at Loud will be worried too.”

 

“I’ve already contacted them. Of course, I didn’t tell them the details, just that there was an accident. I’ve arranged for your parents’ coffin to be rescheduled, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor hadn’t expected Daryl to go that far, so she hesitated for a moment.

 

“If you’re uncomfortable in this room, I’ll move you right away. To the Hibiscus Room you used before, or anywhere you want…”

 

“No, I’m fine.”

 

“…Miss Townsend.”

 

“I appreciate that you saved me, Duke, but I don’t think I should be here. I’m feeling much better, so I’ll go back to Loud. I can recuperate there too.”

 

At Eleanor’s firm words, Daryl bowed his head in a gloomy expression.

 

“…I see. Then I’ll tell Hardy to go there.”

 

“You don’t have to. I have a doctor who usually takes care of me, so I can ask him.”

 

“…….”

 

It seemed as if she didn’t want any help from Daryl. It was definitely not just a feeling. It was clear that Eleanor was drawing a line with him in that sense.

 

In fact, the thought of sending Eleanor away from the Duke’s house was unbearable.

 

Even though the threat had been removed, the fear of the same thing happening again tormented Daryl. If possible, he didn’t want to let her out of his sight, not just in this house or this room.

 

But still.

 

Daryl had no right to dare to hold her back. Today’s events didn’t change that fact.

 

“…I understand.”

 

In the end, that was all Daryl could say.

 

****

 

Eleanor, at Daryl’s request, was examined once more by Hardy, and then left the Duke’s house.

 

The servants of Loud, including Peggy, were shocked to see Eleanor’s face. Peggy, in particular, was wailing, asking what on earth had happened.

 

Eleanor said it was a ‘carriage accident’, but Peggy was suspicious. In fact, it was clear to anyone that it was a wound inflicted by a person.

 

Still, Eleanor denied it to the end. She also strictly silenced Emily and the coachman.

 

She decided to postpone her trip to Wembury until she was better.

 

Daryl said, ‘It won’t happen again,’ but honestly, she didn’t know if that was really true. She didn’t know what Daryl had said to the emperor, or how he had managed to get Eleanor out, but the emperor was the supreme ruler of this country. If he targeted her again, there seemed to be no 100% guarantee that she could stop him.

 

When she thought back to that time, she still felt dark and shaky. It was the first time she had felt so scared of a person. She had nightmares every time she closed her eyes, and for several days she couldn’t sleep properly.

 

She woke up in the middle of the night, soaked in tears, hugging herself and staying up all night.

 

At times like that, she could feel her inner will, which she had clenched and protected, shaking.

 

In fact, she wanted to be protected by Daryl. She wanted to feel safe within his gaze and fence. It felt like there was nothing else in this world that could protect her, and it was clear that it was. But thinking of her mother, she couldn’t dare to do that.

 

It had been a week of sleepless nights.

 

All the newspapers in the capital reported in bold headlines that the emperor had passed away.

 

***

 

“Miss Townsend.”

 

Despite the sudden visit, Daryl looked calm as if he had expected Eleanor to come.

 

“…What happened?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“You know. About His Majesty the Emperor.”

 

The newspaper said that the emperor had ‘died of a sudden illness’. But that couldn’t be. At least the last time Eleanor saw the emperor, he didn’t look sick at all.

 

“I only found out after reading the newspaper today. I was just about to go to the palace because of that incident. I’m sorry, but let’s talk later…”

 

“Did you do it?”

 

Daryl stopped speaking. Eleanor asked again in a trembling voice.

 

“Did you do it? To save me that day, you…”

 

“…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“There was definitely a gunshot that day. You fired it, didn’t you? Right?”

 

It was a memory that came to her after reading the article. Until then, her memories before and after losing consciousness from being hit by the emperor were vague. It must have been because she had suffered a great shock. But thinking back, there was definitely a gunshot. It was a sound that could not be mistaken for anything else.

 

Daryl remained silent, his mouth tightly shut.

 

“Really? Did you really…kill His Majesty the Emperor? Is that why you told me to relax? That there would never be such a thing again… was that what you meant?”

 

“…..”

 

“Answer me, Daryl. You promised you wouldn’t deceive me again!”

 

At her words, Daryl’s eyes flickered. He clenched his teeth in silence.

 

“…There was no other way.”

 

Eleanor felt as if the blood in her body was chilling. Her head was spinning and she staggered without realizing it.

 

“Miss Townsend!”

 

Daryl quickly ran over and caught her.

 

“…Why, why…”

 

Eleanor gasped out in a barely audible voice. She wanted to push Daryl away, but she had no strength in her body.

 

“It’s His Majesty the Emperor. Not anyone else, but the emperor of this country. But how, how could you…”

 

“…Because he was an opponent who couldn’t be suppressed by power, he had to be killed. Absolutely, I couldn’t let him touch you again. That was the best and only way.”

 

“…….”