If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Eleanor instinctively took a step back. She was so surprised that she couldn’t say anything for a moment. The man smiled at Eleanor and entered the room.

 

“…Who are you? Why are you just coming in,”

 

Thud. The sound of the door closing made Eleanor feel as if her heart had dropped to the floor.

 

“Don’t come any closer! I’ll call for help!”

 

As Eleanor raised her voice in a cracked tone, the man quickly put his finger to his lips.

 

“Shh, be quiet. I barely made it in here without getting caught.”

 

The man was laughing as if all this was a light joke. Eleanor bit her trembling lower lip hard.

 

“Who are you to be so rude? Get out right now. Or I’ll really scream,”

 

“Whoa, whoa. Calm down. I’m not a suspicious guy. I’m Anthony. I’m the brother of Daryl Lloyd, who you’re promised to marry.”

 

“…Lord Jericho?”

 

“Oh, you know me. It’s an honor.”

 

A smile spread across Anthony’s face again. If it weren’t for this situation, it would have been a smile that could be praised as quite handsome. From what she heard and saw, he was exactly the Anthony she knew. Short brown curly hair, a beauty that rivals his brother Daryl, and an attitude and dress that couldn’t be called sloppy.

 

“Nice to meet you, sister-in-law. You’re as beautiful as I’ve heard.”

 

Anthony bowed with an exaggerated gesture like a theater actor. Her heart was still pounding loudly in her ears. As the tension eased, her legs felt weak as if she was about to collapse at any moment, but Eleanor gathered all her strength to keep her posture.

 

“…Lord Jericho. What on earth is going on? Without permission, into a room where a woman is alone, and that too without going through a servant. It’s not a gentlemanly behavior. Please leave right now. Hurry.”

 

“Hey, what are you talking about? You definitely gave me permission. ‘Come in.’ I heard it clearly with these handsome ears.”

 

“That was obviously because I was thinking it would be the maid. I never imagined that Lord Jericho, whom I haven’t even formally introduced, would knock on the door.”

 

“What does it matter? We’re going to be family soon.”

 

‘Maybe we already are.’

 

Anthony was smiling kindly and affectionately, as if all this was a joke.

 

“May I sit?”

 

Before Eleanor could even answer, Anthony was already pulling out a chair from the table.

 

“Lord, this is difficult. If someone sees, what will you do?”

 

“What are you talking about? It’s not like we’re doing anything we shouldn’t be seen doing.”

 

“It’s inappropriate for the Lord and me to be alone in a place without the attention of others. Please understand my intentions and leave now. I will greet you properly at the right opportunity.”

 

“…”

 

“Please, Lord.”

 

Eleanor put her hand slightly on her chest and bowed her head.

 

“…Lord Jericho?”

 

“Ah, I see. I did come too suddenly today. I’ve seen your face and greeted you, so that’s enough. I’ll withdraw quietly as you wish.”

 

Seeing the light of relief spread across Eleanor’s face, Anthony slightly furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“Well, you’re too happy. I’m a little disappointed.”

 

“…”

 

“Just kidding, just kidding.”

 

Anthony laughed and walked out the door. Eleanor couldn’t even think of seeing him off and just stood there.

 

“Don’t forget what you promised, sister-in-law. Next time, we must take our time to get to know each other.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor didn’t respond to Anthony’s words just before he left. Her face was still stiff.

 

‘How naive. They are well matched.’

 

He had been in countless women’s rooms, but this was the first time he had been treated so coldly. He had only planned to say hello today, but it was true that his pride was hurt when he was chased out with a stern face.

 

But it was only a matter of time. Anthony was confident that he could definitely conquer Eleanor. There was not a single person on her side in this large mansion, and that one, her husband was also the same case. It was clear that she would open her heart on her own if he treated her a little more affectionately. Because there was no woman who could resist loneliness.

 

‘What kind of face will he make when the whole world knows that his wife is close to his brother?’

 

Anthony smirked. His body was already hot with anticipation. Will he run long? Will he run to hit me? Whatever it is, it was clear that he wouldn’t be able to keep his proud face in the world.

 

The reason why a puppy is a puppy is because it was born under a dog. Since he was born from the same womb as me, my brother couldn’t be any different. He wouldn’t be able to stand the itchiness of wanting to reveal his true nature as soon as possible.

 

****

 

She didn’t know how she spent that afternoon.

 

She couldn’t lie down because of her severe stomachache. Eleanor just waited for the pain to go away, leaning on the sofa.

 

When she was in Loud, she could decide and move on anything with her own judgment. But here, in Chatsworth House, Eleanor was an infinitely powerless existence. No matter what happened, the only thing she could do was one thing, the only way was to appeal to the highest authority here. That’s why she had to rely on Daryl’s power to send a single letter home.

 

‘It’s impossible to sneak in unnoticed with so many servants. They saw but pretended not to.’

 

Anthony was the second highest-ranking person in the Duke’s house after Daryl. If he ordered them to keep their mouths shut, there was no way a mere servant could disobey. Then, what should she do if something like today happens again?

 

“…But that person.”

 

In reality, she still didn’t know whether that letter had reached Peggy or not. Her stomach ached. Eleanor groaned and writhed in pain.

 

When it started to get dark, there was a knock on the door. Eleanor was startled and sat up.

 

“Who is it?”

 

“It’s Emily. I brought dinner.”

 

“…Come in.”

 

Soon Emily and another maid came in and started setting up dinner on the large table. Despite the pretty good smell, she had no appetite at all. She wasn’t even sure if she could swallow food properly.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Eleanor muttered weakly. Then Emily took something out of her bosom and put it on the edge of the table.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“It’s a letter.”

 

At the word ‘letter’, Eleanor’s pale face turned red for a moment. As soon as the maids left, Eleanor hurriedly got up and reached for the letter.

 

It was a reply from Peggy.

 

Eleanor found a paper knife on the desk and tore the envelope with trembling hands. As she unfolded the letter, somewhat crooked handwriting came into view.

 

‘To Miss Eleanor.’

 

Eleanor’s eyes blurred quickly as she read the first line. Eleanor blinked several times to quickly wipe away the falling tears, and then began to read the letter in earnest.

 

It was a long and disorganized letter, but that made Peggy’s feelings all the more poignant. Peggy apologized repeatedly for being pushed out of the Duke’s house without even saying goodbye to Eleanor, and for constantly blaming herself for not being able to be by her side.

 

‘I may be a useless maid, but if there is anything I can do for Miss Eleanor, I will do it without hesitation. I mean it.’

 

After that, she conveyed her regards to herself and others, and ended the letter by saying that she would write again if it was not too much trouble for Eleanor.

 

Eleanor read the letter two or three times in repetition. She carefully put the letter back into the envelope and kept it in a drawer of her desk. She still had no appetite and her heart was still heavy. However, Eleanor sat at the table and picked up a spoon. She scooped up the soup and swallowed it, then tore off a piece of bread and chewed it carefully.

 

‘One year. Just one year’.

 

If one year passed, she could go back home. Eleanor repeated those words endlessly and swallowed hard, as if they were her blood and flesh. The deal that had been bothering her for almost two weeks was ultimately resolved satisfactorily. It couldn’t be called a complete victory, but it was a result that could be considered a clear win.

 

On Friday afternoon, after allowing Philip to leave early, Daryl headed towards Esmeralda. Despite being sleep-deprived for almost two weeks, his sexual desire was stronger than his fatigue. After enjoying passionate sex all evening, Daryl returned to the Duke’s house late at night and faced an unexpected face.

 

“Welcome back, Your Lordship.”

 

Among the servants who greeted Daryl was Eleanor.