If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

For a moment, it felt as if the blood in his entire body had frozen.

 

Daryl painfully parted his lips that wouldn’t open, and called Eleanor’s name.

 

“…Eleanor.”

 

“You’ve started calling me by my name again. I don’t remember giving you permission.”

 

“…”

 

Daryl bowed his head slowly.

 

He had been prepared to accept it, and he had been prepared to accept it.

 

But when he faced Eleanor’s cold face and voice, he felt as if he was falling into a thousand-mile abyss.

 

That’s how sweet the time he spent with her was. Holding her, tasting her lips, and feeling an intense ecstasy at the fact that they had finally become one, it was like a dream.

 

Yes. It was a dream after all.

 

There was no reason to despair or be sad. From the beginning, it was a happiness that he dared not allow.

 

He knew for sure.

 

He knew, but…

 

“You just said you wouldn’t cause me any harm, right?”

 

“…”

 

He tried to say so, but no sound came out of his parched throat. Daryl nodded his head in lieu of an answer.

 

“Then please issue a statement in your name. Correct any inaccuracies in the articles, but disclose the truth as it is. So that everyone in the world can know that my mother was a unilateral victim and an honorable person who did not commit any injustice.”

 

“…”

 

Daryl nodded again. And he spoke in a voice that was painfully cracked.

 

“…I promise. I will… definitely do that.”

 

“And we will never meet again.”

 

“…”

 

His vision seemed to spin.

 

His head was dizzy and his stomach was churning. If he let go of his knee, he felt like he would collapse at any moment.

 

“It’s not just the Duke, it’s the same with Miss Layla. From this moment on, I will completely sever all ties with Duke Griffith’s family. I believe you know the reason without me having to add it.”

 

“…”

 

“I will not demand more than what I have already mentioned. But I will never forgive. I will never forget what the former Duke did, what my mother suffered, and the unjust years she had to endure because of it. I will remember it until the day I die.”

 

“…”

 

“That’s all I have to say. Then please leave.”

 

“…”

 

Even though he was dismissed, Daryl did not move from his spot. To be precise, he could not move.

 

There was no strength in his body at all.

 

If someone touched him, he felt like he would collapse. No, he felt like he had already collapsed.

 

“Duke.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor sighed quietly.

 

“I guess I’ll have to leave again.”

 

“…….”

 

Eleanor rose from her seat and left the room. In the end, she never once looked at Daryl.

 

****

 

“…The Duke has left.”

 

A while later, Peggy came to find Eleanor and told her.

 

Eleanor was in the room that her mother Sylvia used to use. Almost 10 years had passed since her mother’s death, but the items in the room were almost untouched. It was always kept clean.

 

If her mother were to come back to life, she could stay here tonight. But that would never happen.

 

“I see.”

 

Peggy bowed her head to leave, but turned back with a look of unbearable restraint.

 

“Miss… are you okay?”

 

“Huh? What is?”

 

Eleanor smiled indifferently.

 

Peggy’s expression became even more sorrowful.

 

“…Miss. You don’t have to force yourself. It’s just me. You don’t have to do that to me…”

 

“Thank you, Peggy. But I’m fine.”

 

“…”

 

Peggy closed her eyes tightly.

 

“…Then I’ll go. Call me anytime if you need me. Please.”

 

“Okay. I got it.”

 

After Peggy left, Eleanor slowly walked to the bed her mother used to use and sat down.

 

It was a bed where she had slept countless times with her mother when she was young, and even after her mother passed away, she came to sleep here several times when she missed her.

 

Slowly stroking the pillow, a tear fell onto Eleanor’s hand.

 

“…I’m sorry, mother.”

 

Perhaps there was no unfilial daughter like her in the whole empire, let alone this capital. She married the son of her enemy, vowing to repay the late Duke of Griffith, who had taken away her mother’s life and happiness.

 

Not only that. She even gave her heart to Daryl, who had been treating her harshly and tormenting her all year round. She knew. She knew that trusting Daryl would only lead to betrayal. Why did she trust him again? So she was betrayed again. It was all Eleanor’s fault.

 

Eleanor bowed her head and shed tears, sobbing quietly. The reason her heart was so painful now was not just because of her guilt towards her mother. That fact tormented her even more. Despite the deep wounds that had torn her heart apart for the past two days, she couldn’t completely hate Daryl. She kept defending him and her heart kept weakening.

 

Isn’t all this the fault of the Duke, not Daryl’s? It wasn’t bad for Daryl to hide the truth from Eleanor. Because Daryl really cared for Eleanor. Because she had already confirmed his sincerity long ago, many times…

 

But all of that was just a vain delusion. She was betrayed again. It was all Eleanor’s fault.

 

Eleanor stroked the pillow slowly, and a tear fell onto her hand.

 

Eleanor should never forgive Daryl, the Duke of Griffith. She had already committed too many sins against her mother that she could not wash away. She couldn’t do it anymore. Knowing that her mother had suffered unfairly until the day she died, she could not have been tied to the son of her enemy. Eleanor fell onto the bed, swallowing her sobs.

 

****

 

Daryl was not sure if he was alive. It felt like his feet were floating about a foot off the ground. He didn’t feel like his body was his own when he was walking, standing, or sitting. It felt miraculous just to get through the scheduled tasks.

 

If it weren’t for his guilt and responsibility towards Eleanor, even that would have been impossible.

 

Douglas Moore, the Earl of Saunders, was one of the few people who knew the truth with Daryl until recently. If the information leaked, it was likely from him. But Moore flatly denied Daryl’s suspicions.

 

“I’ve never divulged anything about Frederick to anyone. I can swear on my family.”

 

Daryl silently stared into Moore’s faintly glowing eyes. Moore was Frederick’s most ardent follower during his lifetime.

 

He had raised his voice to defend his father even when Daryl cursed him. Even after knowing what his father had done. Maybe…no, definitely not. He had no evidence, but he felt it would be.

 

Daryl was a little surprised at himself. His former self would never have trusted Moore. Because he didn’t believe in the existence of trust unrelated to benefits.

 

“I understand.”

 

Daryl just said that and got up from his seat. Moore looked surprised, then hurriedly asked.

 

“What are you going to do now?”

 

“I’ll issue a statement as soon as I catch the culprit.”

 

“If necessary, I’ll get involved. In fact, I went to the editor of the Daily Post the day the article came out. But they didn’t publish what I said. They don’t care about the truth. They just want to make it more sensational.”

 

“I understand. Don’t worry. I’ll handle it. I’ll contact you again when I need your help.”

 

Moore hesitated for a moment.

 

“Daryl, are you… okay?”

 

“…”

 

Daryl left without answering.

 

****

 

Anthony was staying in Boan, a city on the eastern coast. He had sold the scoop to the Daily Post, collected a hefty reward, and left the capital that day.

 

The editor wanted Anthony to participate in the interview, but he didn’t insist because the condition was to keep the fact that he was involved a secret. He still felt exhilarated.

 

Had he ever hit Daryl harder than this in his life? Probably never again. He heard that Eleanor and Daryl were getting along well these days, but he was sure he had put a damper on it with this.

 

Anthony chuckled and swallowed his drink. He was already quite drunk from the afternoon.

 

Then there was a knock on the inn room.

 

‘What?’ 

 

The woman he had hooked up with last night had just left after another round with Anthony. Did she leave something behind?

 

If he hadn’t been this drunk, he might have been a little more cautious. But Anthony opened the door without any suspicion.