If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

At any other time, he would have quickly turned his head and retreated. But why, he couldn’t take his eyes off Eleanor now. Her watery eyes were pulling Daryl in with a clearer and more transparent light than ever before.

 

“Eleanor.”

 

Daryl muttered her name unknowingly. It was a name he hadn’t dared to utter for a long time. He didn’t know when he could call Eleanor by her name. How special it is to call the name of the one you love. How beautiful that name is. How choked up and poignant it feels the moment it comes to your mouth.

 

By the time he realized it, it was already too late. Just like everything else. Of course, it wasn’t that he had been given permission again now. It was just a name that slipped out inadvertently. He couldn’t help but call it. Because the woman in front of him was so beautiful.

 

“Daryl…”

 

When his name flowed from Eleanor’s lips, Daryl couldn’t believe his own ears. Eleanor had a slightly dazed look in her eyes, her cheeks faintly flushed. She might not even be aware that she had called Daryl’s name.

 

At first, he couldn’t believe it. A few seconds later, a wave of emotion hit him like a tidal wave. He felt as if his whole body was swept away by that unreal joy. In fact, he had heard his name many times when he was married to Eleanor. He didn’t know then. How precious Eleanor’s smile, her tender words, and voice were to him. And how much they stemmed from a fierce righteousness. He was just a fool who didn’t know that, and it wasn’t because he had other intentions.

 

Eleanor didn’t just return the hatred and coldness she received. She believed that it was her duty to cover it with mercy. It took him too long to understand that. He made too many mistakes in the meantime. That’s why Eleanor, who had forgiven everyone else, couldn’t forgive Daryl. Even now, he shouldn’t rashly misunderstand.

 

Eleanor finally forgave him, so he could dare to think that he could get closer to her. He knew that. But…

 

Daryl reached out to Eleanor as if he was bewitched. Very slowly, his hand touched Eleanor’s cheek. And after confirming that she didn’t reject or feel uncomfortable, he slowly covered her entire face.

 

Eleanor’s face was as hot as Daryl’s hand. Eleanor briefly lowered her eyes as if she was shy. But she raised her gaze again with a determined expression. Her long eyelashes were trembling as if they were enduring something.

 

Daryl lowered himself in front of Eleanor. And he matched her eye level. His other hand covered Eleanor’s remaining cheek. Then Eleanor gently closed her eyes.

 

When he realized what that action meant, a heat rushed through his body.

 

A sweet and passionate impulse wrapped around his body.

 

Daryl slowly approached Eleanor and kissed her.

 

It was her lips that he touched for the first time.

 

They were as soft as he had imagined, and even sweeter. As Daryl slightly opened his mouth and embraced Eleanor’s tender and plump lips, her shoulders stiffened.

 

Daryl gently stroked her cheek, pulled her closer with his other hand holding her head, and their lips met more deeply.

 

“Mmm…”

 

Eleanor let out a breathless moan, a sweet voice that made it even harder for him to restrain himself. A fierce battle between burning desire and self-control was raging within him.

 

Daryl struggled to control his rough breathing. He opened Eleanor’s small lips and invaded them. He explored her mouth, knocked on her shyly hidden tongue, and entangled it with his own.

 

“Umm…!”

 

Eleanor let out a surprised sound. Daryl slowly lowered the hand that was holding her head and wrapped it around her back. Eleanor let out another bewildered moan. They parted their lips for a moment, and Eleanor looked at Daryl with half-opened eyes. Her moist pupils and flushed face seemed to fuel Daryl’s excitement even more.

 

“…Daryl… umm…!”

 

As soon as Eleanor called his name again, Daryl began to explore her lips as if he were a thirsty person. He swallowed her hot breath and mixed it with his own saliva.

 

His body was so tense that it hurt. He wanted to pull Eleanor closer and examine every inch of her soft body, but he couldn’t. With superhuman self-control, Daryl pulled away from Eleanor.

 

She was still breathing heavily with her eyes closed, as if she didn’t even realize what had just happened. It was so provocative that it was hard to look at her directly.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Daryl barely managed to speak with a clenched jaw.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that without your permission.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor slowly opened her eyes and looked at Daryl.

 

He hadn’t asked for permission. He hadn’t even thought about it. She hadn’t even said she would allow it… but she hadn’t refused it either. That was also true. She was just swept away by something. That was all she could think of.

 

When Daryl’s hand covered Eleanor’s face, she definitely had a premonition of what would happen next. That’s why she closed her eyes. But she never imagined it would be such an intense and embarrassing act. Would she have said no if she had known in advance? She didn’t know.

 

Her head was too hot and her heart was pounding so hard that she couldn’t think straight. It was strange. Even though it was a really indecent feeling, even though it was a contact that was so shameful that she couldn’t even describe it with her own mouth, she didn’t feel bad at all.

 

“Don’t apologize,”

 

Eleanor said hesitantly. But she couldn’t say anything more.

 

Daryl was silent for a moment, then got up from his seat. And after sitting Eleanor upright in the chair, he carefully fixed her disheveled hair.

 

“I’m really sorry. I…I’m not worthy of seeing you. Don’t forgive me.”

 

After saying that in a painful voice, Daryl turned towards the door.

 

Eleanor was surprised and opened her eyes wide.

 

“Daryl!”

 

Daryl looked back at Eleanor.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“I don’t know. But I don’t think I should stay here like this…”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I did something I shouldn’t have done to you…”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor made a slightly incredulous expression.

 

“If you thought it was something you shouldn’t do, shouldn’t you have not done it?”

 

“…”

 

It was a fair point. Daryl’s complexion darkened even more.

 

“I know it’s no excuse to say this. But the moment you called my name…I couldn’t resist. So…”

 

“So, do you regret it?”

 

“What?”

 

“Do you regret it? What just happened.”

 

At Eleanor’s words, Daryl furrowed his brow in confusion.

 

Regret? Of course, he regretted it. But for some reason, he felt that he shouldn’t say so now. Moreover, the only thing Daryl regretted was that he had kissed her without any right, without asking for her permission, almost forcibly. He didn’t regret the kiss itself.

 

Even if he could turn back time to just before…he wasn’t sure he could definitely resist that temptation. He found himself ridiculous.

 

“I regret it… but I don’t regret it. I should have asked for your permission first, and I apologize for not doing so. At least the kiss itself was sincere. Because I’ve always… always loved you. But I knew I shouldn’t. Because I knew I didn’t have the right to…”

 

“That’s enough.” Eleanor said in a small voice.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“If that’s the reason, you don’t need to regret or apologize.”

 

“…”

 

At her somewhat cryptic words, Daryl hesitated to respond.

 

“I don’t regret it either.”

 

How Daryl heard it, she didn’t know, but for Eleanor, it was a word she said with all her might, enduring the utmost embarrassment.

 

Daryl was looking at Eleanor with an unreadable expression. It was a gaze that seemed to burn with an unknown heat, as before. The place where that gaze touched felt as if it was on fire, and Eleanor unknowingly bowed her head.

 

Daryl walked back to Eleanor.

 

“Eleanor.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Can I kiss you again?”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor’s face turned red. But fortunately, she didn’t have to endure the embarrassment again.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

Daryl’s hand grabbed Eleanor’s chin and lifted it up. The moment she felt his hot breath touch her lips, he kissed her again.