If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

Daryl grimaced in pain.

 

“I can’t… make that promise.”

 

“Duke.”

 

“Please. I’ll do anything else. But please…don’t ask me to marry another woman.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor was momentarily at a loss for words. The look in Daryl’s eyes as he gazed at her was desperate and heavy. Eleanor avoided his gaze in despair.

 

“Didn’t Miss Townsend also decide not to marry for the rest of her life? It’s not an unavoidable choice, but a path she chose herself…She said she was happy with that life. Can’t you think the same for me?”

 

“…”

 

“It might be right to marry someone you don’t love for the sake of the family. But I…I don’t think I can be happy that way. Don’t think that it’s because of you that I won’t get married, that my life is ruined. On the contrary. I’m happy now. More than ever before, the past year has been the most faithful and joyful days for me. And all thanks to you.”

 

Daryl confessed in a low voice.

 

Eleanor’s eyes trembled slightly. Her chest felt tight. She felt a prickling sensation inside, a tingling feeling. Eleanor unknowingly put her hand on her chest.

 

‘…What is this?’ 

 

Was it because she was drunk? Or…

 

“As I said earlier, the duchy can be handed over to Layla’s child. So I don’t need to get married to continue the line. Please, Miss Townsend. Don’t say that anymore.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor hesitated for a while, then quietly nodded.

 

“…I understand.”

 

At her words, Daryl’s face brightened with relief.

 

“Thank you.”

 

She wasn’t supposed to hear those words of thanks. Whether Daryl got married or not was his decision, Eleanor had nothing to do with it. Yet he looked as if it was only natural to ask for Eleanor’s permission.

 

Daryl looked extremely happy right now. His gaze at Eleanor was very affectionate and poignant. Why couldn’t she meet his eyes straight on?

 

“…I think I’m sober now, so I should go in. Here, thank you.”

 

Eleanor folded Daryl’s jacket and returned it to him. Then she quickly left the terrace. Her cheeks were hot. Despite being outside for quite a while.

 

****

 

Eleanor met with Layla almost every day until her wedding. As Layla had said before, she also accompanied her to fit her wedding dress. Joshua was present a few times, but Daryl never was.

 

Eleanor was secretly relieved. It had become strangely awkward to face Daryl after that night. It wasn’t an unpleasant or uncomfortable feeling. But when she was with Daryl, it was strangely hard to look him in the face.

 

There were only two days left until the wedding. While they were having tea together, Layla suddenly asked.

 

“Hey, Eleanor. What did you talk about with my brother on the terrace that day?”

 

Eleanor was surprised by the sudden question.

 

“Huh? Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”

 

“Just because it seems like the atmosphere between you two has been a bit awkward since then.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor’s cheeks turned faintly red. Layla observed Eleanor carefully.

 

“Just…I asked the Duke why he’s still not married. I heard from Miss Layla before and was a bit worried…”

 

“So? What did my brother say?”

 

“He said…he doesn’t think about it…”

 

“Why? What’s the reason?”

 

In fact, there was no way Layla didn’t know the reason. She was obviously asking to see Eleanor’s reaction.

 

“…I don’t know. He didn’t clearly state the reason. Anyway, he made it quite clear that he has no plans to marry in the future. He said that the duchy can be passed on to Miss Layla’s child…”

 

“Oh my. That’s the first time I’ve heard that.”

 

If Layla has a son, there would be no problem inheriting the dukedom under imperial law. The Earldom of Sheppard which Joshua will inherit, can be inherited together, or if a second son is born, it can be passed on to him. Of course, if we consider the order of succession, Anthony, the second son of the former Duke Frederick, was the priority. It was generally correct to pass on the dukedom to his child if he got married and had children.

 

But Anthony was completely cut off from the duke’s family by Daryl. He wasn’t even invited to Layla’s wedding this time. If Daryl were to write a will in the future, it was highly likely that Anthony’s child would also be excluded from the inheritance, just like Anthony. It felt unreal to think that her child would become the Duke of Griffith.

 

Honestly, she didn’t know whether she was happy or not.

 

‘…Besides, if my brother says he won’t get married, it means he doesn’t want to marry any woman other than Eleanor.’ 

 

Layla sneakily glanced at Eleanor. She was lost in thought with her eyes downcast. Honestly, she really wanted to see more of Eleanor’s inner thoughts. But it was such a sensitive issue that it wasn’t easy to touch carelessly.

 

‘Hold on a little longer, Layla. You can’t mess up by saying something unnecessary.’ 

 

There was no doubt that the relationship between the two had changed from before. Eleanor also felt that she was aware of Daryl in a different direction than before. Layla suppressed her impatient heart and brought the teacup to her mouth.

 

****

 

Finally, the day came for Layla to marry Joshua. The wedding was held at the bride’s house, the Duke’s residence, according to tradition.

 

The day was clear and sunny. It was like the best day of summer and autumn combined.

 

Eleanor looked up at the sky with her eyes slightly open. She couldn’t help but remember her own wedding, which took place in the same place about four years ago. That day was a cold winter day, unlike today, and the weather was cloudy. It was a wedding that no one blessed. There was nothing good all day. A friend she met after a long time treated Eleanor with a cold attitude, and she had her first seizure, left alone at the reception. Daryl also tormented Eleanor with his hateful words.

 

Her mood was down for no reason. She didn’t want to dwell on dark memories. Originally, she was going to see Layla, who was supposed to be in the bride’s waiting room. But she was afraid that her bad mood might show on her face, so she couldn’t move her feet easily. Then she heard a voice calling Eleanor from behind.

 

“Miss Townsend.”

 

“…Duke.”

 

Eleanor bowed in greeting. Daryl was impeccably dressed in formal attire. As such, he looked more splendid than usual, and at the same time, it reminded her even more of four years ago.

 

“Thank you for coming. You don’t know how much it means to Layla and me that you’re attending.”

 

Daryl paused for a moment, then slowly continued.

 

“So you don’t have to attend the ceremony.”

 

At his words, Eleanor lifted her gaze that had been looking down.

 

“…What?”

 

“You’re uncomfortable in crowded places. You don’t have to push yourself. If you’re not feeling well, you can rest inside.”

 

Eleanor looked at Daryl with a puzzled expression.

 

“What do you mean? I can’t do that. It’s Layla’s wedding.”

 

“It’s okay. I’ve already talked to Layla.”

 

“What? About what?”

 

“Your attendance at this wedding will inevitably attract a lot of attention. It’s an uncomfortable situation for anyone, and you’re particularly sensitive to such things. You don’t have to endure hardship for Layla.”

 

“…”

 

“Layla said it’s enough that you came today. We’ve prepared a room, so even if you’re free, please wait a little. As soon as the ceremony is over, I’ll come right away…”

 

“No, you don’t have to do that.”

 

At Eleanor’s words, Daryl’s eyebrows twisted in regret.

 

“…Miss Townsend.”

 

“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry, I won’t get worse like before.”

 

“But…”

 

“I’m really okay.”

 

Eleanor smiled at Daryl. It wasn’t a forced smile, but a truly peaceful smile. The reason Eleanor had a seizure in front of a crowd before was because she was alone among all those people.

 

No one was on her side, stood by her, or shielded her. But now it was different. As long as she knew that, there would definitely be no more seizures.