If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

However, no matter how much I thought about it, it seemed impossible to build an art gallery in the village for various reasons. So, reluctantly, I ended up creating this separate gallery.

 

This <Mother and Daughter> is a painting that Miss Townsend particularly liked, as far as I remember. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to give it to Miss Townsend. If there are any other works you want, feel free to take them and keep them for your personal collection.

 

Once again, happy birthday. I hope my gift can bring you a little bit of joy. 

 

Daryl Allen Lloyd.]

 

Eleanor folded the letter and put it back in the envelope.

 

“Are all these paintings…left by the Duke?”

 

Emily, who had been quietly watching Eleanor’s reaction, suddenly asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Because it’s your birthday?”

 

“It seems so.”

 

“…”

 

It seemed like Emily had something more to say, but she was holding it back.

 

“Why? If you have something to say, say it, Emily.”

 

“…That is…”

 

Emily hesitated for a while before speaking.

 

“It seems to me…the Duke likes you a lot.”

 

She waited for Emily to continue, but that was the end of her sentence.

 

“…Is that all?”

 

“Yes? Ah…Yes.”

 

Eleanor let out a small laugh. Emily looked puzzled.

 

“I know.”

 

“You…know, Madam?”

 

Emily blinked in surprise.

 

“Yes, I know. Now.”

 

“…….”

 

Eleanor quietly turned her gaze towards <Mother and Daughter>.

 

Looking back, her heart had been filled with confusion and doubt from the moment she first saw this painting.

 

She wondered why Daryl had brought her to the exhibition at Scofield’s, and why he had suddenly become so gentlemanly. She thought she couldn’t understand.

 

Thinking about it, Herbert had said back then that ‘the Master actually cherishes you’. At the time, she thought it was such a ridiculous thing to say…

 

It was the same after the divorce. When Daryl suddenly appeared and expressed concern about revealing her identity as a painter, when he sent guards to the Loud mansion on his own, and when he donated a large number of books to Wembury Village.

 

She only felt uncomfortable and disliked Daryl’s actions, and didn’t try to think about his intentions. It was a time when she couldn’t bear to even think about Daryl.

 

But in reality, Daryl had loved Eleanor for so long.

 

‘…What a foolish man.’

 

Despite being pushed away and treated coldly, he couldn’t give up.

 

And yet, he didn’t openly confess his feelings, but just hovered around worrying about whether Eleanor might be in danger, and tried to do whatever Eleanor liked.

 

Even to the point of using someone else’s name. And Eleanor didn’t even recognize it…

 

‘…If you were going to do this, you should have just been nice from the start.’

 

Eleanor suddenly let out a bitter laugh. It seems that the lump in her heart hasn’t completely disappeared yet, considering she’s having such thoughts.

 

But it wasn’t exactly the same as before.

 

Now, she felt like she knew Daryl’s sincerity. At least, she didn’t doubt that he would betray her expectations and hurt her again like before.

 

Eleanor slowly moved her steps towards the next painting.

 

****

 

When Eleanor returned home, she wrote a letter to Daryl.

 

[To Duke Griffith,

 

I was surprised by the gift you sent. Thank you. You told me not to feel burdened, but it’s not easy. I feel guilty about monopolizing these wonderful masterpieces by myself. There’s a risk of theft because they’re expensive works, and I think it will take a lot of effort to manage them. So, I think it’s right to send the paintings you sent back to the capital and keep them in the Duke’s house.

 

Please don’t think that your gift was just a burden because I’m saying this. It was an overly generous gift for me to receive personally, but because of that, I was also happy with the heart contained in it.

 

Normally, exhibitions open and close for a while, so I think I’ve had a good look at the great paintings thanks to you, Duke.

 

However, I would like to keep <Mother and Daughter> by Barry Hoff as a gift from you. As you said, it’s a work I personally like.

 

Thank you again for preparing such a big gift. But next time, if you give me a gift, I hope it doesn’t exceed the size that I can hold in my hand like <Mother and Daughter>.

 

I always wish you good health.

 

1. L. Townsend.

 

P.S. I just realized that I didn’t prepare a gift for your birthday. As a return, is there a gift you would like to receive?]

 

About two weeks later, a reply came back.

 

[To Miss Townsend,

 

As you said, I will arrange to collect all the paintings I left in that mansion. The management itself is not a problem, but there is no point in giving a gift if it makes you uncomfortable. I am satisfied with just the fact that you were happy.

 

And about the return gift you mentioned.

 

To be honest, I thought a lot about it. I wasn’t sure if I had the right to ask you for such a thing.

 

But since you offered, I dare to express my hope.

 

I would like to receive a self-portrait painted by you as a gift.

 

I know it’s rude to ask such a thing from a famous painter like you. If you don’t feel like it, you can ignore it.

 

But if you do draw it, I will treasure it for the rest of my life. I won’t disclose it anywhere, it will be my personal collection.

 

Daryl Allen Lloyd.]

 

After reading the letter, Eleanor was slightly taken aback. She had hardly ever painted a portrait, let alone a self-portrait.

 

In fact, even before she received the reply, she had already thought of giving Daryl a painting she had painted herself. It was not easy to find a gift for a rich man like Daryl in Wembury.

 

But she never thought of drawing a self-portrait. Eleanor’s specialty was landscape painting. At most, she only thought about re-drawing Daryl’s portrait.

 

[After Eleanor left, my brother stayed in his room for several months and didn’t even try to come out. And all day long, he was just looking at the painting. The portrait of himself that Eleanor painted.]

 

It was embarrassing and awkward to know that Daryl had seen the painting she had impulsively drawn, but she was also a little happy to know that he cherished it so much. Since the painting was unfinished, it seemed not bad to give a proper portrait as a gift.

 

The problem was that it was difficult to meet Daryl directly and draw, so she had no choice but to rely entirely on her memory. That’s why she was hesitating.

 

‘…A self-portrait.’

 

Eleanor got up from her desk and went to the mirror. It felt a bit awkward and embarrassing, but it didn’t seem impossible. It was a picture she had never tried before, so it was a bit interesting. Eleanor hesitated for a moment and picked up the pen.

 

[To Duke Griffiths,

 

I’ve never drawn a self-portrait before, so I’m not sure how it will turn out, but since you want it, I’ll give it a try. However, I can’t guarantee the result, so please don’t expect too much.]

 

****

 

Time passed and it was August. Eleanor left for the capital a week before Layla’s wedding. Unlike Wembury, which was still sunny, the capital was already full of autumn colors.

 

As soon as she got off the train, the cool wind blew, and Peggy shrugged her shoulders.

 

“Ah, it’s chilly. Miss, you’re dressed warmly, right?”

 

“Yes. Don’t worry, Peggy.”

 

“It’s good that you brought a thick coat. Oh, there…”

 

Emily looked around and pointed to one side of the platform. The servants sent from the Loud mansion were there.

 

“Welcome, Madam.”

 

The servants approached Eleanor and bowed.

 

“You’ve worked hard to come here. Go with Peggy and unload the luggage.”

 

“Yes, Madam.”

 

Unlike the last time when she almost came with just her body in a hurry, this time she had quite a lot of luggage. Among them were gifts for Daryl and Layla.

 

‘I wonder if they’ll like it…’

 

She did draw a self-portrait as Daryl requested, but since it was a picture of herself, it was hard to tell whether it was well drawn or not. Honestly, it only felt awkward and not like herself every time she looked at it.