If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“It’s a mansion that was used as a villa, so it’s a bit small, but it’s comfortable to live in. Apart from me, there are only a few servants, so I think it’s just the right size.”

 

“That’s nice. It feels like I’m on vacation. It’s vacation season, after all.”

 

Layla seemed quite excited and thrilled.

 

“Are you tired? I’ve prepared some simple food, so eat and rest for a while.”

 

“No, I’m fine. I have a lot of things I want to talk about with Eleanor.”

 

“We can talk while we have dinner later. It would be a big problem if you overdo it and catch a cold.”

 

At Eleanor’s dissuasion, Layla smiled awkwardly.

 

“Yes, I understand. After all, we have plenty of time.”

 

Eleanor personally guided Layla to the room she would use.

 

Layla came down a few hours later, around the time the sunset began.

 

“Did you rest well?”

 

“Ah, yes.”

 

Layla’s face still looked sleepy. Despite her words that she was fine, she seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep.

 

“If you’re tired, you can rest more. It’s okay to delay the meal.”

 

“No, I’ve rested enough. And I’m hungry.”

 

At Layla’s words, Eleanor laughed.

 

“Is that so? Then I’ll prepare the meal right away.”

 

The two sat across from each other at the dining table and had dinner.

 

As Layla had said that she had a lot to talk about, she chattered non-stop. Most of the conversation was about recent events, and some of it was content they had already exchanged in letters. However, Layla seemed unaware of this.

 

‘Somehow, Layla seems to have changed a lot.’ 

 

As far as Eleanor remembered, Layla always had a shy atmosphere. Not just in front of Eleanor. She seemed to find it difficult to show kindness or similar emotions to people. But the Layla she met today seemed completely different from before. She honestly expressed her feelings and was brighter and more energetic than ever.

 

That’s why she seemed more youthful and innocent than when she was an eighteen-year-old girl. It was when dessert came out at the end of the meal. Layla, who had been talking non-stop, suddenly fell silent. She rolled her eyes here and there with a slightly flushed face, as if she had something to say but was hesitating.

 

Eleanor waited without rushing for Layla to speak.

 

“…Um, Eleanor.”

 

“Yes, Miss Layla.”

 

“Do you remember the letter I sent you, saying that I wanted to come to Wembury to celebrate your birthday?”

 

“Yes, you did.”

 

“Actually, there was another reason why I wanted to come to Wembury. I wanted to see Eleanor’s face and tell her something directly.”

 

“Really? What is it?”

 

Layla blushed slightly.

 

“Actually, I’m engaged.”

 

Eleanor couldn’t hide her surprise at the unexpected news.

 

“Oh my, is that true? With whom?”

 

“His name is Joshua… He’s the eldest son of Baron Sheppard. Do you remember him?”

 

“Ah… Yes. You’ve talked about him a few times before. You’ve been close since you were kids, right?”

 

“…Yes, that’s right. You remember.”

 

It was quite surprising to have such an informal friendship with a male peer, and it left an impression. However, Layla had clearly stated at the time that there were absolutely no romantic feelings between them and that it would remain that way for life.

 

Layla seemed to guess what Eleanor was thinking by looking at her expression.

 

“That’s how it happened, somehow.”

 

Layla said with a shy smile.

 

“Did you suddenly receive a proposal? You didn’t mention anything about the Viscount Sheppard in your letters.”

 

“No… that’s not it. We’ve been like this for about half a year… At first, I couldn’t believe it myself and it was a bit embarrassing, so I couldn’t say anything. After receiving the proposal, I thought I should meet you in person and tell you. Actually, I wanted to surprise Eleanor a bit.…You’re not upset, are you?”

 

Layla seemed to be watching Eleanor’s reaction. Eleanor smiled slightly.

 

“Why would I be? I was certainly surprised, but it was a happy surprise. Congratulations, Layla.”

 

“…Thank you.”

 

Layla smiled awkwardly. Her smile was quite lovely. Now that she thought about it, she wondered if her softer demeanor was because of that.

 

‘It’s really good.’ 

 

She felt warm inside. More than anything, Layla looked happy. It was a look that could only be made by deeply loving and being loved in return.

 

“…Why do you keep laughing.”

 

Layla said with an embarrassed expression.

 

“Just because. I can’t stop smiling.”

 

“Do you think it’s funny? I used to say that there was no way I would end up with Joshua…”

 

“No, I think it’s wonderful. I think it’s great to develop from close friends to lovers. It’s romantic. I’m curious how you two got along. You’ll tell me while you’re staying in Wembury, right?”

 

“…Well, yeah.”

 

Looking at Layla, who was still shy, Eleanor smiled contentedly. After dinner, Eleanor and Layla moved to another place and continued their chat. They talked for hours on end, and they were hungry again in no time. They spent the night talking over tea and snacks.

 

Eleanor held onto the shy Layla and persistently dug into her love story with Joshua. As expected, it was a cute story that made her laugh out loud. By the time the story was over, it was already late at night. It was a moment when both of them were resting without a word.

 

“…Eleanor, do you have any plans to remarry?”

 

Eleanor was taken aback by the sudden question. Layla hurriedly continued.

 

“I know it’s rude to ask. I also know it’s none of my business. But, um… I was curious about what Eleanor thinks…”

 

Looking at Layla, who was somewhat flustered, Eleanor smiled quietly.

 

“I’m not going to get married. There’s no one worth marrying.”

 

“There might be someone closer than you think if you look for it.…Oh, I’m not talking about my brother. Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t mean it that way.”

 

Layla said, waving her hands. Eleanor could only laugh awkwardly.

 

‘…Could it be about Viscount Brooke?’ 

 

In fact, when Layla first mentioned her engagement, Benjamin came to mind. She knew that Layla had a deep crush on Benjamin. So when she received a proposal from Benjamin, she felt a bit sorry for Layla. She never imagined that Benjamin would have such feelings for Eleanor.

 

But maybe Layla knew. That might be why she hated Eleanor more. But all that was in the past. Now Layla had a wonderful fiancé. So Eleanor decided not to mention Benjamin’s name.

 

“How is the Duke doing?”

 

“…Ah, yes. He’s completely healthy now. He doesn’t seem to be overworking himself like before.”

 

She had been exchanging letters with Daryl, just like with Layla. Daryl’s letters were more considerate and caring than the ones he wrote as Lewis Wilson. The frequency of the letters, the content, all showed signs of careful consideration not to make Eleanor uncomfortable.

 

There was still a sense of dissonance between the affectionate words in the letters and the Daryl she knew. But that was also gradually diminishing over time.

 

“Doesn’t the Duke think about remarrying? In fact, the Duke should be thinking about continuing the line and seeing a successor rather than me.”

 

“…Ah, yes. Not yet…I don’t think so.”

 

Eleanor was about to turn twenty-six soon, and Daryl would be thirty-two. Most men his age would have already married and had a child or two. The first letter Daryl sent to Eleanor expressing his earnest love was the last. Since then, he had avoided direct confessions in his letters, perhaps out of concern that Eleanor would be uncomfortable. But just because he didn’t use the word love didn’t mean his feelings weren’t conveyed.

 

In fact, every expression, every word Daryl wrote, conveyed deep feelings for Eleanor.

 

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