If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“It seems my brother was really worried after Eleanor revealed to the world that she was Marcus Miller. He was worried that bad people would approach her for her wealth… because this mansion is located far from the capital and there are few people around. He said he had dispatched the Duke’s soldiers as guards. He pretended not to have ordered it to Eleanor, but…”

 

“…Did you know all this from the beginning, Layla?”

 

“No, no.” Layla hurriedly waved her hands.

 

“Actually, I heard it from my brother’s secretary, Mr. Howarth, yesterday.”

 

[When I heard that you were going to visit the Townsend manor, I wondered if it was because of the Duke’s business.] 

 

This was the first time Philip had asked Layla for a meeting. They had never had a personal conversation before.

 

[…Yes. I thought I couldn’t leave it like this.]

 

At Layla’s answer, Philip hesitated for a moment, then seemed to make up his mind and spoke.

 

[Then I have something to tell you.] 

 

Philip told her everything that Daryl had done for about three years after divorcing Eleanor. The circumstances that led him to follow Eleanor to Wembury this time, and everything he did there. She was surprised, but more than that, she felt sorry. He was so foolish to be alone, doing things that Eleanor wouldn’t even know about.

 

[These are facts that no one knows except the Duke. Originally, I shouldn’t have told you, Layla, but…] 

 

Philip trailed off with a troubled expression. She fully understood his feelings. It was frustrating and infuriating to hear, let alone having to keep that secret alone for all those years.

 

[After the divorce, I thought it was a problem that would be solved over time. In fact, about a year after the divorce, it seemed to return to normal to some extent. But now… it’s worse than right after the divorce.]

 

[…..]

 

[When the Duke said he would take a vacation for the first time in his life and follow Miss Townsend all the way to Wembury, I honestly thought it was a stupid thing to do. It would have been a hundred times better to cling to her openly. So if it doesn’t work, give up. There’s no future in hovering around Miss Townsend in a place she doesn’t know, is there?] 

 

[……]

 

[But…it seems it wasn’t for the Duke. Even those days without a future seemed to be a precious comfort to him. That’s why he’s like this…like a man who has given up everything in despair.]

 

[..…]

 

Philip bowed deeply in front of Layla.

 

[Please. Please tell Miss Townsend. To save the Duke…It has to be Miss Townsend.]

 

It was the first time Philip had shown such an emotional side. She had thought he was as insensitive and blunt as Daryl.

 

“Mr. Howarth is also very worried about my brother. Just as much…my brother’s condition is really bad now.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor remained silent, her eyebrows faintly furrowed. Layla chose her words carefully, considering Eleanor’s mood.

 

“My brother didn’t deceive Eleanor with bad intentions. The same goes for him following Eleanor all the way to Wembury. It was all because he thought Eleanor shouldn’t go through any hardships. Of course, that doesn’t make it okay. It’s definitely wrong to lie to Eleanor. But…I’m saying this because I hope Eleanor won’t misunderstand.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor was silent for a long time, then suddenly opened her mouth.

 

“If what you’re saying is true…why didn’t he tell me himself?”

[Why do you keep hanging around me? Why are you obsessed with me?] 

 

[Because I, you…] 

 

Looking back, it seemed like Daryl was trying to confess his love to Eleanor at that moment. But he didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he shed tears.

 

“…My brother…seems to think he doesn’t have the right to tell Eleanor he loves her. Because he’s done so much wrong to Eleanor…”

 

“If it’s a feeling that can’t even be mentioned, isn’t it just that much of a feeling?”

 

“No, it’s not. Really. Please believe me.”

 

Layla spoke urgently.

 

“I understand why Eleanor finds it hard to believe. But my brother’s feelings are sincere. I can even swear on it.”

 

“…..”

 

Eleanor looked down at her teacup in silence for a while, then quietly spoke.

 

“…Okay.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“What do you want me to do?”

 

Eleanor’s expression seemed calm at first glance, but there was a bitter and empty look in her eyes.

 

“…Please meet my brother one more time.”

 

“And then?”

 

“Just meet him. I don’t ask for anything else.”

 

That was it. She had no right to ask for more. She had explained as much as she could, and some misunderstandings must have been cleared up. The rest was up to Daryl.

 

Eleanor looked down at her teacup for a long time, then finally spoke.

 

“…Okay.”

 

***

 

Daryl was sitting anxiously in the parlor of the Lilac Room. It was the day Eleanor was to come to the Duke’s residence to meet him.

 

A few days ago, Layla had said she had arranged a meeting with Eleanor again.

 

[I’ve told her everything. About my brother’s feelings, about what my brother has been doing behind Eleanor’s back, everything. So think of this as your last chance, and honestly express your feelings.] 

 

After hearing those words, he didn’t know what to do. Even now, it was the same. He was happy that he could see Eleanor again. But he wasn’t sure if he could confess his feelings to her.

 

Originally, it was a feeling he never intended to reveal in his lifetime. But Layla had already told Eleanor that Daryl loved her. Daryl swallowed a silent groan.

 

Then there was a knock.

 

“Miss Townsend is here.”

 

Daryl quickly got up from his seat. Soon, Eleanor entered the room.

 

She was as dazzlingly beautiful as the last time he saw her. She sat across from him, not trying to meet Daryl’s eyes, with a calm face.

 

“I’ll prepare the tea.”

 

Herbert left the room after saying that.

 

Only Daryl and Eleanor were left in the room, and an awkward silence flowed. Even after the maids came in and poured the tea, and left, it was the same.

 

“I heard you’re not feeling well.”

 

Suddenly, Eleanor opened her mouth.

 

Daryl swallowed and moistened his dry throat.

 

“…No, I’m fine.”

 

“I heard you’re not fine at all. They said you even collapsed.”

 

“I just confused the dosage of the medicine. I’ve been resting since then, so I’m fine now.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor sighed softly.

 

“Is it because of me?”

 

“…..”

 

“Leila said that you…..collapsed and are in such a state, all because of me.”

 

“…That’s not true. It’s a misunderstanding.”

 

“Really?”

 

“..…”

 

Eleanor looked at him with questioning eyes, and Daryl instinctively avoided her gaze.

 

“Layla said you…”

 

Eleanor paused for a moment, as if choosing her words.

 

“…You think of me as special. Is that also a misunderstanding?”

 

“…..”

 

The moment he heard those words, he felt a lump in his chest. His hands were sweaty and his body started to tremble slightly.

 

“I thought there was no way. I still think the same. So if it’s a misunderstanding, please make it clear. Then Layla won’t be mistaken anymore.”

 

“…”

 

He certainly had no right to tell her that he loved her. But he couldn’t lie anymore.

 

“…It’s not… a misunderstanding.”

 

Daryl spoke with gritted teeth.

 

“I love you. I have loved you. From a long time ago…continuously.”

 

Daryl couldn’t muster the courage to look up, his head bowed. Then he heard a cold voice above his head.

 

“So what?”