If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

It was shocking that Daryl showed tears in front of Eleanor, but Eleanor’s reaction was even more surprising.

 

She seemed like a different person from just a moment ago when she generously accepted Layla’s apology. As far as Layla knew, Eleanor had never shown such a cold attitude to anyone other than Daryl. Why? Why did Daryl earn Eleanor’s hatred to this extent? Of course, he was quite annoying. It was true that he had chosen to forcibly bring Eleanor as his bride for his own reasons and had only done things to earn her hatred. But if that was all, Eleanor wouldn’t have hated Daryl to this extent.

 

Moreover, Daryl was now a completely different person from before. He was no longer denying his feelings and spouting words contrary to his heart. It was clear that he had apologized to Eleanor with tears.

 

‘Maybe there’s something I don’t know.’ 

 

Daryl must have committed some decisive, irreversible mistake to Eleanor. Otherwise, a person as kind-hearted as Eleanor wouldn’t have rejected him so coldly.

 

After pondering for a while, Layla cautiously spoke.

 

“No, it’s not because he’s sick…My brother has always regretted the wrongs he did to Eleanor. After the divorce…actually, even before the divorce.”

 

“Why? Why does he need to regret all of a sudden? There wasn’t any particular reason for him to do so. Our relationship ended completely with the divorce, and we didn’t have to see each other again.”

 

Eleanor spoke with a blank expression. Her voice was so cold that Layla’s shoulders involuntarily shrank, even though her words were not directed at Layla.

 

“Even before the divorce, it’s even more unbelievable. If he was going to regret it right away, he shouldn’t have done something regrettable in the first place.”

 

“…That’s because, my brother… at that time, he still didn’t know his feelings clearly…”

 

“What feelings?”

 

Layla looked at Eleanor with a slightly blank expression.

 

“Didn’t my brother tell you?”

 

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Eleanor didn’t seem to be pretending not to know. She really looked like she didn’t understand. Layla had thought that Daryl had confessed his feelings to Eleanor when he met her this time. She thought that he had despaired to that extent because Eleanor had not accepted him even then. But was that not the case? Had he given up in despair at Eleanor’s cold attitude before he even confessed? If that was true, it was truly pathetic. Even though it wasn’t her business, she felt her face heat up with shame.

 

‘And you made such a fuss about dying? You’re such a despicable person…’ 

 

If he was a man who couldn’t even honestly confess his feelings because of past mistakes, he didn’t deserve to be with Eleanor. Right now, she wanted to tell Daryl to take care of his own business, and that she wanted to have tea with Eleanor and chat.

 

‘…But I guess I can’t do that.’

 

It was a matter of life and death for her brother. If it weren’t for that, she wouldn’t have even thought of coming here today.

 

“…My brother loves Eleanor.”

 

At Layla’s words, which she finally uttered after much thought, Eleanor’s eyebrows furrowed slightly.

 

It was as if she doubted her own ears.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“He loves Eleanor. The reason he followed Eleanor all the way to Wembury, and the reason he regrets the wrongs he did to Eleanor to the point of shedding tears… it’s all because of that.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor remained silent with a frown on her face. Eventually, she shook her head.

 

“That’s not possible. You’re misunderstanding, Layla.”

 

“No, it’s not.”

 

“That’s ridiculous. Why would Daryl, me, why?”

 

“…There’s no reason for love.”

 

“What kind of…”

 

“Think about it. Otherwise, there’s no reason for my brother to be obsessed with Eleanor. As Eleanor said, it’s been almost three years since you both divorced and became strangers. Isn’t it stranger that it’s not because of love? What other reason would there be for someone like my brother to follow Eleanor all the way there, even taking a long vacation?”

 

“…”

 

“It’s not a day or two. My brother has liked Eleanor for a very long time. As I said earlier, even before the divorce.”

 

“…That’s ridiculous.”

 

“Don’t you remember? A person who had no interest in art suddenly bought a lot of paintings and sculptures and made an exhibition hall in the house. That was right after Eleanor and brother went out to see an exhibition. Why else would he do that if not for Eleanor?”

 

“…”

 

That was true. It was such a long time ago that it felt like a very faint memory, but at the time, Eleanor had also harbored a feeling of disbelief. That was around the time when Daryl’s attitude suddenly softened. He stopped making the sharp remarks that he used to spit out at any moment.

 

Yes, that’s why she had made such a mistake. Seeing the gift on Daryl’s desk, seeing the birthday card, she had mistaken that it was prepared for Eleanor…

 

When she thought of that necklace, she felt as if her confusion disappeared in an instant and her heart froze coldly.

 

“No.”

 

“…Eleanor.”

 

“That’s not possible. Absolutely not.”

 

“…”

 

Looking at Eleanor’s hardened face, Layla made a regretful expression.

 

“…I understand how Eleanor feels. Because my brother was so mean to Eleanor. But it’s true. At that time, my brother didn’t know his feelings clearly. So he said sharp words or acted in a way that was incomprehensible, contrary to his true feelings. The reason he insulted and pursued Viscount Brooke in front of Eleanor was… probably because of jealousy.”

 

“…”

 

“In fact, on the day the contract period ended, my brother held onto Eleanor. He asked not to divorce, not to leave the Duke… He begged. Why would he do that if he didn’t love Eleanor? Isn’t that right?”

 

At Layla’s words, Eleanor hesitated for a moment, but soon shook her head horizontally. She couldn’t accept that fact. It felt like her body was rejecting it before she could think about it with her head.

 

“…After Eleanor left, my brother was completely broken. For several months immediately afterwards, he didn’t even try to go outside, locked up in his room. And all day long, he was looking at a picture. A self-portrait that Eleanor drew.”

 

“…….”

 

It was the very picture that she had asked Herbert to burn, the one that Daryl later said had ‘gotten wet in the rain.’

 

“Looking back, the reason he started buying Marcus Miller’s paintings as soon as they came out was because he realized who the painter was. He paid a surprising amount of money for a few particularly popular works. He displayed the collected paintings in the exhibition hall and spent all his free time there. At that time, I only thought it was fortunate that he had a new hobby. But it wasn’t. It was also because of Eleanor.”

 

“…”

 

She finally understood why the price of Marcus Miller’s works had skyrocketed over the past few years. It was a reason she could never have imagined. Did Benjamin know this fact? He must have known. He just decided not to tell Eleanor.

 

[I didn’t mention it at the time because I thought it would be rude, but actually, I’ve been a passionate fan of Marcus Miller for a long time.] 

 

The content written in the first letter she received under the name of Lewis Wilson came to mind. Thinking back, there was quite a temperature difference when she met Wilson in person. The real Wilson seemed to recognize Marcus Miller as just a ‘famous painter’. She didn’t feel a big sense of incongruity at the time because she didn’t suspect that the letter was written by Daryl.

 

Was it because of that that he knew every work published under the name of Marcus Miller, and gave a loving appreciation that only a real fan could give?

 

[It’s not a lie. Believe me in this. It was all sincere. There wasn’t a single sentence written with false feelings.] 

 

Maybe that’s what Daryl meant when he said that. Eleanor bit her lip without realizing it.