If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“Miss Townsend was here.”

 

“Eleanor? She came here?”

 

“Yes. She wanted to see you. She said she would be staying at the Loud mansion for a while and asked you to contact her.”

 

“……”

 

Daryl’s complexion darkened. Herbert knew from his reaction that Eleanor’s speculation was true.

 

In fact, Herbert had some ideas. It was just after Eleanor left the capital that Daryl declared he would go on a vacation he had never been on in his life.

 

Considering Daryl’s behavior over the years since their divorce, it wasn’t surprising.

 

After Eleanor left, Daryl’s life completely fell apart. All he had left were regrets about the past and an unending attachment.

 

Everything Daryl had done for the past two and a half years was related to Eleanor. He was the one who bought Eleanor’s paintings as they came out, raising their value, and even sent soldiers to guard the mansion after she revealed her identity as a painter to the world.

 

He was so obsessed with Eleanor that it wasn’t surprising he followed her to where she moved.

 

For the past two and a half years, Herbert had been extremely careful not to mention Eleanor in front of Daryl.

 

He had no choice. Seeing Daryl’s condition in front of him, he couldn’t dare to mention Eleanor.

 

But now, the words he had been unable to say were rising to his throat.

 

‘If you still have such regrets, why don’t you try again.’

 

Hovering around like this, nothing would change. No matter how much effort he put in behind the scenes for Eleanor, she didn’t even know.

 

So Herbert thought this could be a good opportunity.

 

“Master.”

 

Herbert finally opened his mouth after carefully choosing his words.

 

“It’s rather good. Take this opportunity to have a good talk.”

 

“…”

 

Daryl’s lightless, dark eyes turned to Herbert.

 

“Miss Townsend’s cold treatment of you is certainly due to past mistakes, but I also think it’s because she doesn’t know your true feelings. If you honestly convey your feelings, I’m sure Miss Townsend will open her heart. I know because I’ve served her for a short time. Miss Townsend is a very merciful person. She won’t turn away someone who sincerely asks for forgiveness.”

 

“…”

 

Daryl turned around without answering. His steps towards the office were slightly staggering.

 

“Master.”

 

Herbert hurriedly followed Daryl.

 

“Actually, I’ve wanted to say this for two and a half years. But I’ve been holding back until now. I knew how hard it was for you. Please, just this once, listen to me. I beg you.”

 

Daryl paused with his hand on the office door and looked back at Herbert.

 

“…I can’t do that.”

 

Daryl muttered in a small voice.

 

“Master.”

 

“I can’t. I don’t have the right to do that.”

 

Herbert’s expression twisted as if in pity.

 

“What do you mean, Master? There’s no one who doesn’t have the right to ask for forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes or does wrong. And it’s up to Miss Townsend to decide whether to forgive or not. Even if you’re not accepted, shouldn’t you at least try?”

 

Daryl looked at Herbert with a vacant gaze.

 

“There is.”

 

“…Yes?”

 

“There are wrongs that don’t have the right to ask for forgiveness.”

 

“Of course there might be, but at least you’re not. It’s not like you killed someone…!”

 

“…..”

 

At those words, Daryl’s face lost its color.

 

“Master?”

 

He called out in surprise, but Daryl bit his lip and turned to open the door.

 

“Master!”

 

“…Contact Eleanor for me. Tell her I’ll meet her wherever and whenever she wants.”

 

Leaving only those words, Daryl went into the office. Herbert could only stand blankly in front of the closed door.

 

****

 

When Eleanor returned from the Taylor Baron’s house, there was a message from Daryl. It was about accepting Eleanor’s proposal to meet.

 

It was a much faster response than she had expected. Even if Philip had accepted Eleanor’s request as it was, she thought it would take a few days for the contact to go through.

 

‘…Daryl hasn’t been back to the Duke’s house for quite a while. Was that not true? Or…’

 

Feeling a faint headache coming on, Eleanor consciously stopped thinking.

 

She was already tired of doubting someone.

 

She was already quite upset knowing that Lewis Wilson was just acting as a proxy for Daryl.

 

She had enjoyed exchanging letters with Wilson. Not because he claimed to be a fan of Eleanor, or because he only said nice things. It was because the careful consideration and affection she felt from his sentences warmed her heart.

 

But all of that was written by Daryl.

 

‘Why on earth…’

 

She couldn’t understand why Daryl would do such a thing.

 

She couldn’t take it in a good way. To be honest, she was just anxious.

 

Every time he showed Eleanor his affectionate side, there was always a bigger betrayal waiting for her.

 

Eleanor wrote a letter to Daryl asking him to visit the Loud mansion tomorrow.

 

****

 

The next day. Daryl arrived on time.

 

“Miss Townsend.”

 

“…..”

 

As Daryl took off his hat and greeted her, Eleanor didn’t even respond. She just signaled him to sit with her eyes. It was a cold and even rude attitude that anyone who knew Eleanor would be surprised at.

 

“I visited Mr. Wilson at the Taylor Baron’s house yesterday.”

 

Eleanor got straight to the point as soon as Daryl sat down.

 

“He thinks this necklace is the one you gave as a gift. The letter clearly stated that Mr. Wilson had chosen it himself, and the design was completely different.”

 

“…”

 

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

 

Eleanor asked Daryl directly.

 

“Don’t just deny it like last time. I agreed to meet knowing everything. It was you, wasn’t it? Donating books in Mr. Wilson’s name, exchanging letters with me until now, it was all you, right?”

 

“…”

 

“Why did you do that? I’ve told you several times. I don’t want to be involved with the Duke anymore. I don’t want to see your face again. Why do you keep doing things I didn’t ask for? Deceiving me, and even involving others…!”

 

Realizing that her voice had unknowingly raised, Eleanor gently bit her lip. She took a moment to calm her excitement.

 

“…Tell me. Why did you do it?”

 

Daryl didn’t say anything. His expressionless face seemed resigned.

 

“Duke.”

 

“…”

 

“…Are you just going to keep your mouth shut?”

 

Prompted repeatedly, Daryl finally opened his mouth. But he hesitated again with his mouth slightly open.

 

“…I’m sorry.”

 

That was all he managed to spit out.

 

“What are you apologizing for?”

 

“Everything, all of it.”

 

Daryl spoke intermittently in a broken voice.

 

“So you admit that you were behind Mr. Wilson?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“Why did you do that?”

 

“…I was worried because you went to a remote place where there are few people. Thinking that you shouldn’t get into any danger…I followed you.”

 

“Why is the Duke worried about me?”

 

“…..”

 

“I’ve told you several times before that it’s not a matter for the Duke to get involved in. I’m no longer related to the Duke. It’s been that way for a long time. But why, even though I said I’m fine. Even though I said I don’t like it, why are you still lingering around me―”

 

In the middle of speaking, her breath was cut off. The shortness of breath and the spinning in her head were symptoms she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Eleanor furrowed her brows and bowed her head.

 

At that moment, Darryl’s eyes, which had been like a dead man’s, sparkled with light.

 

“What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well, Miss Townsend? Are you okay?”

 

Daryl quickly got up from his seat and said to the butler, Harold.

 

“Call the doctor, now!”

 

“…I’m fine.”

 

Eleanor spoke with a voice that seemed to be squeezed out.

 

“I’m fine, Harold. Don’t call.”

 

“Miss Townsend.”

 

“…I said I’m fine. Didn’t you hear me just now? You don’t need to worry.”

 

“…..”

 

“That’s why I didn’t want to see you. Because when I see your face, I keep thinking about things I want to forget. Because when I hear your voice, I keep remembering words I don’t even want to recall. I hate not being myself in front of you. In fact, I don’t even want to have this conversation. I don’t want to blame or resent you now. So please let me forget. Leave me alone. Is that such a difficult request? Or are you doing this on purpose? Are you doing this to torment me!”

 

At Eleanor’s words, which were spat out without even taking a breath, Daryl turned pale as if all the blood had drained from his face.