If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“It’s strange. I heard that Mr. Lewis Wilson was in the mining business before he retired. Considering that you were in the same field, Mr. Howarth, it’s unlikely that you haven’t heard of him.”

 

“Yes? That can’t be…”

 

Philip reflexively began to reply but then hesitated.

 

“That can’t be? Why not?”

 

“…”

 

Philip remained silent, avoiding eye contact.

 

“That’s right. Mr. Wilson’s business wasn’t in mining, but in construction. However, you just said that you had never heard of him, Philip. Isn’t that a contradiction?”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor pointed out calmly, and Philip felt his back drenched in cold sweat. He thought he had been escaping the situation quite well, but now he found himself in a dilemma.

 

“Mr. Howarth.”

 

“…”

 

“Are you going to keep your lips sealed?”

 

Despite Eleanor’s pressing, Philip remained silent. No matter how cornered he was, he couldn’t confess. Philip knew all too well the huge difference between admitting the truth and not. Eleanor’s gaze, which was fixed on him, felt unbearably sharp. Philip had no choice but to grit his teeth and endure.

 

“Alright, I understand.”

 

Finally, Eleanor seemed to give up.

 

“If Mr. Howarth is going to be like this, I have no choice but to speak directly with the Duke. Please tell him that I would like to see him. I plan to stay in Loud for a while, so he can contact me there.”

 

After finishing her words, Eleanor stood up from her seat. Philip, taken aback, faltered.

 

“As I mentioned, the Duke is traveling. There’s no telling when he will return to the capital…”

 

“If it’s difficult for him to come, please tell me where the Duke is now. Then I will go to see him.”

 

“…”

 

With those final words, Eleanor left the reception room. Layla hurriedly followed her.

 

“Eleanor, wait a moment.”

 

When Eleanor turned around, Layla hesitated for a moment before speaking.

 

“I mean, even if my brother really did something behind Eleanor’s back… it surely wasn’t with bad intentions.”

 

“…”

 

Eleanor’s expression faintly darkened, and Layla quickly continued.

 

“I’m not just defending him because he’s my brother. You might not know, but ever since the divorce…actually, even before the divorce…”

 

“Stop.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Don’t say any more. I don’t want to know.”

 

Eleanor’s voice was neither particularly cold nor irritated. It was as calm and composed as it had always been. However, Layla couldn’t help but be shocked that such words had come from Eleanor’s mouth. Eleanor had always treated Layla kindly and affectionately. Even during the time when Layla unilaterally hated Eleanor, she had been the same.

 

It was all unreasonable hatred and resentment. Layla didn’t know how much she had regretted it afterward. In fact, Eleanor must have been the one who suffered the most and was treated unfairly, yet she forgave and accepted Layla. There was no one as kind and good as her. At least, Eleanor was the only one among the people Layla had met in her life. That’s why Layla thought maybe Daryl could be forgiven too.

 

At the time of the divorce, she couldn’t dare to say such a thing. From Layla’s perspective, there was no excuse for Daryl then. But now, two and a half years after the divorce, she thought there might be some room for consideration. She knew because she had seen it all along. How much Daryl had struggled. How deeply he regretted the past. And he still loved Eleanor. It would have been better if he had realized and accepted that fact sooner. But Layla knew well that regretting things that had already passed wouldn’t change anything. Still, Layla held onto hope. If only there was one chance, so Daryl could convey his true feelings, prostrate himself before Eleanor, and beg for forgiveness…

 

Then maybe Eleanor would forgive and accept Daryl. Because Eleanor was such a kind and affectionate person. Then Eleanor might return to the Duke’s residence. They could live together in the same house again, have tea together, and go out here and there…

 

Then Layla would really treat Eleanor well this time. Without regret. Without unnecessary pride…

 

But Layla realized how self-centered that hope was at this very moment. Eleanor’s expression, which seemed calm at a glance, was like a glacier. Too thick and solid to dare touch what was inside. The wound was that deep. It was natural. It must have been hard, lonely, and painful while living in the Duke’s residence. Layla just hadn’t realized how big a wound it was because Eleanor hadn’t shown it.

 

[I just want to repay the former Duke. And once I complete that task, everything will return to its place. I can promise you that for sure.]

 

That was it. She had endured because it was hard. Just one year. Because after one year, she could divorce Daryl and leave the Duke’s residence.

 

“…Eleanor.”

 

Layla’s voice trembled. Eleanor smiled faintly.

 

“I’m sorry. But it’s a matter between the Duke and me. I’ll talk it out and resolve it. Then there’s no need for Miss Layla to worry unnecessarily.”

 

“…”

 

Layla realized anew from those clear-cut words.

 

To Eleanor, Layla was not on her side. It was natural, if you think about it. Layla was Daryl’s sister and a member of the Duke’s residence. That’s why she cut ties with Layla at the same time as the divorce with Daryl. The time they spent together was precious, the thought that she was friends with Eleanor, the desire to go back to those times, it was all Layla alone.

 

Tears welled up irresistibly. Not wanting to show Eleanor her crying, Layla bit her lip and bowed her head.

 

“Take care, Miss Layla. Thank you for your hospitality.”

 

With those words, the clicking of heels moved away from Layla.

 

****

 

The next day. Eleanor visited Baron Taylor’s residence in the northern capital. It was to meet the Baroness Taylor. Her maiden name was Grace Wilson, the eldest daughter of Lewis Wilson.

 

It was the information she had asked Benjamin to find out in a letter she sent yesterday.

 

[Actually, my eldest daughter gave birth recently. One of the reasons I came to the capital was to see my newly born granddaughter.]

 

According to Wilson’s letter, he should have visited this Baron Taylor’s residence recently. According to Benjamin, it seemed true that Baron Taylor had recently had a daughter. Maybe Wilson was still staying at the Baron’s residence, or even if not, she would be able to confirm if he really visited this place.

 

Eleanor’s visit was precisely for that reason. Although she had asked Philip to convey her desire to meet Daryl, she needed more concrete evidence to confront him on the spot.

 

Even standing in front of the Baron’s residence now, her feelings were mixed. From Philip’s reaction, it was almost certain that Daryl was behind Wilson. Yet, hope still lingered in her heart that it wasn’t true. That was how much comfort she had found in Wilson’s letters. When she knocked on the door, a maid came out.

 

“How may I help you?”

 

“I’ve come to see Baroness Taylor. Please tell her Eleanor Townsend requests an audience.”

 

Eleanor was led inside the mansion and sat in the drawing room, waiting for Baroness Taylor to come down. After a while, a lady who appeared to be about Eleanor’s age entered the drawing room. She was a woman with chestnut brown hair and slightly drooping eyes, very much resembling her father. Her kind expression was the same.

 

“Hello. Did you say you are Miss Townsend?”

 

Baroness Taylor, Grace, asked with a surprised look on her face that she couldn’t hide.

 

“Yes. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Eleanor Townsend. How are you feeling now?”

 

“Oh, yes. It’s been almost a month now.”

 

Indeed, Grace seemed to have no particular discomfort in moving around. She sat opposite Eleanor and offered her tea.