If I was Going to Regret It Anyway

“I’m sorry, but I cannot marry Viscount Brooke.”

 

Eleanor bowed her head to Benjamin as she spoke.

 

“…I see. Understood.”

 

Benjamin’s eyes were unexpectedly calm, as if he had already known Eleanor would refuse.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask why?”

 

“I already know. I’m aware that Miss Townsend has no intention of marrying anyone, and that her feelings are not the same as mine.”

 

“…..”

 

“Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but propose. It was nothing more than my own selfishness and delusion, so please don’t feel sorry for me.”

 

“…Viscount Brooke.”

 

Eleanor closed her eyes with a sad expression, then opened them again.

 

“I owe you so much, Viscount Brook. Without you, I would never have debuted as a painter. Thank you for all the help, consideration, and even the words you’ve given me this time… All of it was more kindness and care than I deserve. I’m truly grateful.”

 

At Eleanor’s words, Benjamin smiled slightly, albeit bitterly.

 

“It sounds like a farewell.”

 

“…..”

 

“I may not have received your acceptance to my proposal, but I would still like to remain as your dedicated art dealer…Is that too much to ask?”

 

“No, not at all. I’m the one who should be thankful. But… are you really okay with that, Viscount Brooke?”

 

“Of course. As a businessman, it would be unthinkable to let go of an artist who is about to receive the empire’s attention. It’s simply not done.”

 

Benjamin joked lightly, smiling. It must have been a forced show of being alright, out of consideration for Eleanor. Knowing this made her heart feel even heavier.

 

Feeling a prickling sensation at the tip of her nose, Eleanor cast her eyes down.

 

After a moment of silence, Benjamin spoke again.

 

“…If it’s alright with you, may I ask just one thing?”

 

“Yes, Viscount Brooke. Please speak.”

 

“When I proposed, were the feelings you experienced…entirely discomfort and regret?”

 

At Benjamin’s question, Eleanor’s eyes widened, but only for a brief moment. She soon smiled softly.

 

“No. Of course, there were feelings of excitement and joy. Actually, it was the first time a man had confessed his love to me.”

 

“…Is that so.”

 

“Yes. I’ll probably never forget it for the rest of my life.”

 

Eleanor spoke with conviction, her voice filled with sincerity.

 

Benjamin thought that was enough. The feelings he had harbored alone for eight years were sufficiently reciprocated with those words.

 

And certainly, it was enough for him to carry forward.

 

“Actually, on my way into the mansion earlier, I thought I saw a familiar face.”

 

At the change of topic brought up by Benjamin, Eleanor nodded.

 

“Yes, you saw correctly. Baron Hughes was here.”

 

Baron Hughes was, like Benjamin, quite a renowned art dealer. There was only one reason he would visit the Townsend estate.

 

“Was it an inquiry about a contract for a work?”

 

“Yes.…Ah, but of course, I refused. I told him that I have an exclusive contract with Viscount Brooke.”

 

“You don’t need to maintain the contract out of loyalty. If someone offers better terms, it’s only right that you consider them. Of course, in such a case, I would offer better terms as well.”

 

At Benjamin’s words, Eleanor laughed shyly.

 

“There’s no need for that. I have no intention of dealing with anyone other than Viscount  Brooke.”

 

“I’m grateful for your words.”

 

Benjamin also smiled in response.

 

“Perhaps you will be contacted by other art dealers besides Baron Hughes. There may also be direct requests for works from buyers. Until now, I was the only one who knew Miss Townsend’s identity, so I implicitly acted as your agent… But perhaps it would be better to formalize that arrangement going forward. Then I could officially become Miss Townsend’s agent, and there would be no more direct approaches to Miss Townsend like today.”

 

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”

 

“Then I will prepare a contract and come to see you again soon.”

 

“Thank you, I would appreciate that.”

 

Eleanor lifted her teacup to her lips. Benjamin watched her for a moment, then suddenly asked.

 

“Have there been any other unwelcome visitors?”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I’m asking if there has been anyone else who came looking for Miss Townsend, knowing that she is Marcus Miller, besides Baron Hughes.”

 

“…..”

 

Seeing Eleanor hesitate to answer, Benjamin knew his suspicion was correct.

 

“As I feared, similar incidents will continue to occur. Among them, there will be bad scammers and rogues. It would be wise to prepare a countermeasure.”

 

His voice was low, but his expression was utterly serious.

 

Daryl had said something similar when he suddenly visited.

 

“It’s not a matter to be taken lightly. If it becomes known that you are making a lot of money, there will surely be those who target your wealth. It would be better if it ended with just sweet talk. Living in a small house in such a secluded suburb, what will you do if a robber comes?”

 

At that time, Eleanor couldn’t understand why Daryl was worried about her, but now she recognized the validity of his concerns. Annabel’s visit yesterday was a decisive factor.

 

“So I’ve been thinking…maybe we should move. Far away from the capital, to a quiet place.”

 

“A quiet place…Where exactly do you have in mind?”

 

“I think the south would be nice. I’ve always wanted to live somewhere with a view of the sea. For about 2 or 3 years… until people lose interest in my paintings. As you just mentioned, I’ll leave all matters related to existing works to Viscount Brooke.”

 

“…..”

 

Benjamin silently looked at Eleanor. His feelings were complex. The sense of loss at not being able to see her immediately was great, but there was also worry about what might happen to her out of his sight.

 

However, it certainly seemed like a good idea. If she went far to the south, there would be no one who knew Eleanor, and as she said, if she took a break from her artwork, people’s interest would gradually fade.

 

More than anything, moving away from the capital meant distancing herself from the emperor. At the last exhibition, the emperor had openly shown interest in Eleanor. Considering his notorious reputation for obtaining any woman he set his eyes on, it was not a matter to be taken lightly. In fact, that was why Benjamin had decided to propose to Eleanor.

 

Even if he was the emperor, he couldn’t just leave the palace and go to the south as he pleased. Eleanor must have also considered that fact in her plan.

 

“I won’t sell this mansion but will maintain it as it is. It’s the house my mother left me, and where I’ve lived my whole life. It will also be convenient to return briefly if there’s an urgent matter.”

 

“Understood. If there’s anything I can help you with, please let me know.”

 

“Thank you. I will.”

 

Eleanor said with a gentle smile.

 

***

 

Annabel sat alone in the inn room, nervously biting her nails.

 

She had never imagined that Eleanor would send her away without giving her a single penny. The cost of the train fare and lodging alone had been substantial, and now it seemed she might not even recover her initial investment.

 

When she had seen Eleanor three years ago, she had seemed naive and innocent. Annabel had been certain that if she pleaded with tears, Eleanor would surely comply, but this time, Eleanor had changed completely, as if she were a different person.

 

‘Was she hardened by being expelled from the ducal house? Or was it all just an act before…’

 

Anyway, yesterday Eleanor had been so unpleasant that Annabel had lost her temper too. After screaming and hurling insults, she didn’t have the courage to return.

 

Her husband Robert had been skeptical about this trip from the start. Even though they had been divorced for a while, he had discouraged her from going, citing the promise she had made to the duke.

 

‘He doesn’t realize that I have to do this because he’s incompetent…’

 

The money she had received from the Duke had long since vanished without a trace. It was because Robert had been deceived by a swindler and made a bad investment.

 

Regardless, she couldn’t just go back like this.

 

‘Let’s go back and grovel. If I beg and cry, she’ll give me something just to get rid of me.’

 

Just as she had made up her mind, there was a knock at the door.

 

“Who is it?”

 

“Madam Townsend?”

 

It was an unfamiliar man’s voice. Annabel blinked in confusion.

 

‘Did Eleanor send him? But she wouldn’t know I’m staying here…’

 

Puzzled, she opened the door and involuntarily gasped.