I’d Rather Abandon Than Be Abandoned

 

That’s right. The reason I avoided Nathan was because he scared me.

But now that I was cornered, he was a useful card.

It did bother me a bit that he always came with blood on his clothes, but whatever.

“Ahem.”

Pretending to clear my throat before speaking, I glanced at him.

His face was completely covered, so all I could see were his eyes.

‘His eyes are really the color of the night sky.’

Peeking through the covered area, his eyes were dark and deep blue like the night sky.

I thought they were beautiful.

Even though his gaze was arrogant and sharp.

“Why are you silent? Does my covered face make you uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s not that. I was just organizing my thoughts before speaking.”

“Really? So, what’s your business? I heard you had some proposal.”

Finally, it was time to speak.

I took a deep breath before opening my mouth.

‘I might be treated as a lunatic after I say this, but… it doesn’t matter.’

I was confident I could persuade him to join this crazy plan.

With that confidence, I smiled.

“I’ll start by telling you what I want. I want to break off my engagement with Prince Regis.”

A long silence followed.

It was a silence that hinted at his bewildered feelings.

“…Did that guy make a mistake? As his brother, I apologize, but wouldn’t it be better to go to him and confront him directly? That’s usually how it’s done.”

“No.”

“…?”

“It’s not a problem that can be solved by confrontation. This engagement was wrong from the start.”

I carefully revealed my inner thoughts to him.

“Prince Regis doesn’t love me at all, and neither do I. I don’t love him. Unhappiness awaits us at the end of our marriage. That’s why I need your help.”

I wanted to hold his hand, but that was impossible.

Instead, I gazed steadily into his eyes.

“You’re the only one who can save me from this unhappiness.”

A bitter smile appeared on his face.

“Me? Did you come to the wrong person? I’m sorry, but I don’t have the power to break your engagement.”

Of course, I knew Nathan had no right to the throne or the power that came with it.

But I believed he would be my only savior.

The basis for this belief was the emperor’s guilt.

As far as I knew, the emperor felt significant guilt towards Nathan.

He believed Nathan suffered innocently because of the curse that ran in his blood.

In other words, Nathan was the emperor’s particularly painful sore spot.

If Nathan demanded something strongly?

The emperor would likely grant his request.

“You have enough power to do it. Just follow my plan.”

“A plan, you say? What is it…?”

I quickly spoke before he could object again.

“You might think I’m crazy after hearing this plan. But please understand. I’m desperate enough to carry out this insane plan.”

I calmed my mind with deep breaths before I was treated as a madwoman.

I needed a bit of courage.

“First, marry me.”

“…?!”

All I could see of Nathan’s face were his eyes.

Still, I could clearly guess his expression.

It must have been a face as if he were suddenly hit on the back of his head while walking down the street.

Because who wouldn’t have that face when their brother’s fiancée suddenly proposes?

“What did you just say?”

As expected, his eyes were soon filled with shock and horror.

“Don’t be surprised.”

“You say not to be surprised after saying that… No, more importantly, does Regis know about this?”

I had only told Regis that we should break off our engagement.

Of course, I hadn’t mentioned that I planned to marry Nathan afterward.

But if I honestly revealed that, my proposal would be instantly dismissed.

It seemed best to leave that part out.

“Of course, His Highness gladly accepted my request to break off our engagement.”

“Accepted? Regis did…?”

“Yes, in fact, he would have wanted it the most. But he left it entirely to me to persuade His Majesty.”

Fortunately, he didn’t ask further questions.

I quickly got to the point of my request.

“In other words, persuading His Majesty is the biggest problem… Your Highness has the weapon to change his mind.”

“A weapon to persuade him?”

I couldn’t say that weapon was the emperor’s guilt towards Nathan.

So I decided to make up an appropriate answer.

“You’re his proud son. Family love is the greatest weapon.”

“Hmmm…”

“After persuading His Majesty, propose to me in front of my family. That way, my father will easily give his permission.”

Apparently finding it absurd, he chuckled.

He laughed for a moment and then leaned toward me from his seat.

“I understand why you came to me, but what’s in it for me if I do that?”

“If you grant my request, I will fulfill your greatest wish.”

His greatest wish was, of course, to be free from the curse.

His brow furrowed slightly.

“And what makes you think you know what I wish for?”

“I know you want to be free from the curse.”

“…!”

So far, he had been listening to me, but now he stood up abruptly.

It wasn’t surprising since I had expected this reaction.

I just sat still and looked up at him.

My calm gaze.

And his gaze, heated with excitement.

The two opposing gazes clashed in the air.

“Get out.”

“Trust me.”

I knew he was more desperate than anyone, so I believed he would take the bait I threw.

But all I saw in his eyes was distrust.

“I said get out. Do you not know how serious it is to insult a royal? Stop spouting nonsense and leave.”

I quickly blocked his path.

“What exactly do you find unbelievable?”

“Do you know how many people have come to me saying the same thing? My mother trusted those swindlers and supported them, but in the end… she was betrayed.”

He ground his teeth, showing fierce anger.

“Because of that, the delicate woman suffered greatly…”

“I remember. When the Empress passed away, everyone shed tears.”

The late Empress, Nathan’s mother, was known for her delicate nature.

She was also frail and sickly.

She passed away early from the heartache caused by her son’s curse.

“If you know, then leave. And reflect on your foolish lies.”

“It’s not a lie!”

I stood firm in front of him, preventing him from leaving.

Even though I was afraid of his gaze, I didn’t avoid it.

“If I’m lying, you can execute me for insulting the royal family.”

I cautiously grabbed his hand.

Since it was skin-to-skin contact with a glove in between, I thought it would be fine.

Sure enough, the curse did not activate.

“You can personally behead me with this hand, and I won’t resent you.”

“….”

“So please believe me this one time. If you miss this chance, you’ll never escape your loneliness.”

Who would want to grow old alone and lonely without ever getting married?

I knew how desperate he was.

So I believed he would eventually accept my proposal.

“I’ll come back, so please decide by then.”

Hurrying would only have a counterproductive effect.

Instead of persuading further, I bowed my head and left.

 

* * *

 

Since returning from the palace, I had plenty of time.

I decided to use my free time to get things done.

‘I need to get the Spirit Herb in advance. It’s the key herb for breaking the curse.’

The Spirit Herb had the power to repel spirits.

So it was said to be effective against curses cast by spirits.

However, I couldn’t give the herb directly to Nathan.

Doing so would cause the conflicting forces to collide within him, leading to instant death.

‘I need to get the Spirit Herb, then make the curse antidote. After that, I need to drink it. Then I’ll make physical contact with Nathan…’

To transmit the antidote’s power “body to body” through physical contact.

Since he would die if he drank it directly, there was no other way.

That was the biggest problem.

‘…I’ll think about the latter part later.’

Anyway, I got into the carriage to look for the Spirit Herb.

My destination was Mount Tarna, where the Spirit Herb grew wild.

There was no particular danger.

The mountain wasn’t rough, and the Spirit Herb was commonly found all over the mountain.

That’s why nobody knew about its effects.

Who would have guessed that such a common herb would be an effective antidote for the royal curse?

‘I need to get it done before sunset. Picking the Spirit Herb is easy.’

It was an easy task, so I felt light-hearted.

I hummed a tune in the carriage on my way to the mountain.

“Miss? You seem cheerful today since this morning.”

Mari, who I had brought along in the carriage, asked upon hearing my humming.

She seemed to find my appearance unusual.

Normally, Claudia was either angry,

Or mocking and sneering at Nayla,

One of the two.

“Things are going well.”

“Is that so? I don’t know what it is, but that’s great!”

She still didn’t know that she would soon be climbing the mountain with me.

I wondered if she would still be this cheerful while picking herbs in the mountains.

Meanwhile, the carriage arrived at the village at the foot of the mountain.

—