I’d Rather Abandon Than Be Abandoned

RATBA Chapter 18

 

The Duke’s glaring continued, all the way until Nathan and I approached him closely.

‘Is he planning to burn Nathan alive with just his eyes?’
It seemed that Nathan had fallen into extreme disfavor because of the kiss from that day.
‘Even so, such an intense display of dominance from the start?’
Sensing that the day was going to be far from peaceful, I urged him forward.
“Hurry, Father. Looking at the sky, it seems like it might rain by evening.”
“Yes, let’s go.”
He urged his horse forward and set off.
Soon after, I followed him on horseback.

As we entered the forest, we didn’t encounter a single person.
The entire area was part of the Duke’s private estate, meaning public access was forbidden.
Thanks to that, the three of us—under an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere—ventured deeper into the hunting grounds.
It was suffocating.

“What if we encounter a bear or something? I’ve heard gray bears occasionally appear in this area,” I said, hoping to ease the tension a bit.
I never expected this to spark another strange standoff.

“If that happens, I’ll take care of it. Just stay in a safe place. It won’t take long—bears are easier to hunt than monsters.”
Nathan was the first to speak.

But almost immediately, the Duke shook his head.
“I brought plants that bears dislike. If we burn them, it’ll scare the bear away easily. Especially since it’s right after mating season, the bears are more aggressive. But hunting them, Your Highness? Is that truly necessary?”
“Father…”
“Gray bears are already few in number, and the royal family strictly prohibits their hunting.”

Even though Nathan was in a position where he should be treated respectfully, considering he would marry me, the Duke’s tone toward the prince was shockingly irreverent.
‘Is this going to be okay…?’
I glanced at Nathan anxiously, fearing he might explode with anger.
Thankfully, there was no sign of that happening.
Far from exploding, he looked somewhat tense, which only seemed to irritate the Duke more, as he clicked his tongue and rode ahead.

I used the moment to whisper to Nathan.
“You seem to have made a lasting impression.”
“I can see that.”
He sighed deeply.
“Winning the Duke over seems difficult—no, nearly impossible. Catching a whale in the mountains would be easier.”
“Is it that bad?”
“Yeah. Besides, I’m not one to adjust myself to others’ moods.”
I had guessed as much. It was hard to imagine Nathan going out of his way to win someone’s favor.
Still, I didn’t like how he seemed so quick to give up.

“Well, if you’re really thinking of giving up, I’ll talk to Father. I’ll tell him we should return since it looks like it’ll rain soon.”
“No, wait.”
It was amusing how easily he reacted to my words.
He stopped me with a voice full of wounded pride, and when I turned back, his gaze was burning.
“I’ll win over the Duke’s heart before the sun sets today.”
He confidently assured me, then rode ahead.

I smiled secretly as I watched him ride off, and soon followed the two men.

We were supposed to be in an area full of game.
Yet not even a single rabbit had appeared today.
As a result, the tension dissipated, and we all gradually began to loosen up.

When Nathan moved a bit farther ahead, I seized the opportunity to quietly approach the Duke.
“You were too harsh earlier.”
“Hmph.”
“There was no need to be so openly displeased. I was on edge the whole time.”
“You say you like him, and I’ve tried to think positively about him for your sake. But somehow…”
The Duke glanced at Nathan and continued,
“I just don’t like him. From beginning to end, nothing about him sits well with me.”

Is this what fathers feel?
His standards for choosing my husband seemed ridiculously high.
I knew it was because he loved me so much, but…
In this situation, his overly strict standards weren’t helping.

“I know, he’s not as outwardly kind as His Highness the Crown Prince. But he’s just a little clumsy—his heart is kinder than anyone’s…”
“What kind man would say he’d split a bear in two?”
“Well… He said he’d handle it, not that he’d split it in two.”
“Same difference.”
The Duke shut down my defense and rode ahead.

‘Nathan might be right. Winning over the Duke’s heart in a short time is probably impossible.’
I was feeling somewhat defeated when, of all times, rain started to fall, drop by drop.
How were we supposed to make any progress in this situation?
Today just wasn’t going well.

“It’s raining… I think we should head back.”
A heavy raindrop fell on the Duke’s nose just as I spoke.
He clicked his tongue and called to Nathan,
“Your Highness, the raindrops are getting larger. We should return for today.”

No relationship progress, and not even a single rabbit caught.
With nothing accomplished, we turned back toward the estate.

Swoooosh.
As if cursed, the rain began to pour heavily as we made our way back.
It was much worse than we had expected.
Visibility became poor, and the ground started turning to mud. The horses were panting heavily, and we could barely make out the horse in front of us.

“Claudia! Watch out ahead! There’s a ditch!”
The Duke’s voice called from ahead. I quickly pulled my reins to stop my horse.
He was right. Upon closer inspection, there was a deep ditch ahead, with rainwater rushing through it.
My horse sensed danger and hesitated.

“Claudia! Can you make the jump?”
The Duke’s voice came from across the ditch, but I couldn’t answer immediately.
My horse was smaller than the other two, with shorter legs. Jumping a ditch like this would be risky.
After thinking it over, I shouted to the Duke.
“This horse won’t make the jump! I’ll circle around to where the water is calmer upstream!”

As I called to the Duke, Nathan approached and asked,
“Need help?”
“No, I can manage on my own.”
Despite my refusal, Nathan followed me as I led my horse upstream.
I soon found a spot where the water was shallower.

‘This is better. The current here is much weaker.’
The water only came up to about my knees.
However, my horse was too frightened to cross.
No matter how much I coaxed it, it wouldn’t move.
I had no choice but to dismount and try leading it across myself.
“Come on, be good! Let’s go!”
Despite my efforts, the horse refused to budge.

Nathan, seeing me struggle, began to approach, ready to help.
And then—
“Huh? Ahhh!”
The wet ground beneath my feet gave way, and I slid straight into the ditch.

If that had been the worst of it, I would’ve been fine.
But the current was stronger than I expected!
I couldn’t stand up in the rushing water.
All I could do was cling to a branch I happened to grab, struggling to keep myself from being swept away.
My soaked dress only made things worse, pulling me down further.

‘The water level is rising…!’
I was like a paper doll caught in a storm.

Seeing me, the Duke shouted,
“Claudia!!”
“Help! Someone help…! Huff! Huff!”
The Duke rushed to save me, but it turned out there was no need.
Nathan was already there.
He scooped me up and pulled me out of the water in an instant.

“Are you hurt?”
“Hah… I’m… I’m fine… Thank you, Your Highness…”
Even after being set down, my legs wobbled in shock.
Without a word, Nathan lifted me again and carried me across the ditch.
He set me down in front of the Duke.

“Claudia!!”
I was so terrified and cold that I couldn’t reply.
The Duke hugged me tightly, clearly as shaken as I was.

Nathan, observing the scene, took off the cloth that covered his face and wrapped it around my neck.
I was a bit surprised.

The duke’s gaze was fixed on Nathan’s face. The man who had always been cold and indifferent was now, for the first time, truly startled. He couldn’t speak for a moment, his expression one of genuine confusion. After a brief pause, the duke finally opened his mouth.

“…Prince Nathan, your face…”

But before he could finish, Nathan cut him off.

“Your Highness!” Nathan exclaimed, trying to regain his composure, his voice steady despite the surprise. “It’s not what it looks like. I was merely helping Claudia. She fell into the stream.”

The duke’s eyes narrowed, a mix of suspicion and disbelief washing over his features. “Helping her? You should have kept your distance!”

I stood between them, still shivering from the cold water and the shock of the fall. “Please, Your Grace. Nathan saved me. I wouldn’t be here without him.” I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to suppress the tremors that threatened to overwhelm me.

The duke’s expression softened slightly, though I could see the internal struggle on his face. “You’re both in a precarious situation. This is not how I expected today to unfold.”

Nathan, still tense, replied, “We were just hunting, and then—”

“Enough!” The duke’s voice cut through the air like a blade. “What’s done is done. We need to get back to the estate before this weather worsens.”

As we made our way back, the rain continued to pour, the ground slick beneath our horses’ hooves. I stole glances at Nathan, who seemed lost in thought, his earlier bravado stripped away by the unexpected confrontation.

The silence was heavy, each of us preoccupied with our own thoughts. The duke, usually so commanding, appeared troubled, his mind racing as he navigated the tension between us.

Finally, Nathan broke the silence. “I won’t give up on your trust, Your Grace. I’ll prove myself worthy.”

The duke’s gaze flickered to Nathan, the tension still evident in his features. “Words are meaningless without actions to back them up, Prince Nathan.”

“Then I will show you,” Nathan insisted, his resolve palpable. “I promise, I will earn your trust, and Claudia’s safety will always be my priority.”

The duke’s expression shifted slightly, and I could sense the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. Just then, a loud crack of thunder echoed through the forest, causing all three of us to jump.

“Let’s hurry,” the duke said, urging his horse forward. “We’ll talk more when we’re back inside.”

As we rode in silence, the rain drenched us, but I felt a flicker of hope ignite within me. Nathan was determined, and I admired that. Maybe, just maybe, he would find a way to mend the rift that had formed between him and the duke.

After what felt like an eternity, we finally reached the estate, the towering structure a welcome sight against the dreary backdrop of rain. As we dismounted, I caught Nathan’s eye, and for a brief moment, we shared a silent understanding.

Inside, the warmth enveloped us, and the scent of wood smoke and roasted meat filled the air. But the atmosphere was still heavy with tension, each of us aware that the day’s events had changed something between us.

“Get dry and meet me in my study,” the duke ordered before striding away, his expression unreadable.

I glanced at Nathan, who seemed to be deep in thought. “Are you okay?” I asked softly.

He nodded, though the worry in his eyes betrayed him. “I’ll be fine. But you—are you sure you’re alright? That fall… it must have been terrifying.”

I managed a small smile, grateful for his concern. “I’m okay, just a bit shaken up. But I’m glad you were there.”

He hesitated before speaking again. “I meant what I said back there. I won’t give up on earning your father’s trust. I’ll prove to him that I can protect you, Claudia.”

His sincerity warmed my heart, and I felt a newfound respect for him. “I believe you, Nathan.”

After changing into dry clothes, I made my way to the duke’s study, the atmosphere thick with unspoken words. Nathan entered just behind me, his presence both reassuring and daunting.

The duke regarded us with a serious expression. “Let’s discuss what happened today,” he began, his tone all business. “And I expect the truth from both of you.”

With that, we sat down, ready to face the consequences of the day’s events, determined to bridge the gap that had formed between us.

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