I’d Rather Abandon Than Be Abandoned

RATBA Chapter 17

The Duke had never shown a warm side as a father.

He was always cold and distant.

It had always been that way… until now.

“Are you… worried about me?”

It was the first time. The first time he showed any emotion.

It was also the first time I started seeing him as a real person, not just a character from a game.

It seemed difficult for him to express his feelings, and after a long pause, he finally answered.

“*Ahem…* Yes, of course, I am worried.”

The words he had said not long ago echoed in my mind:

*”You don’t understand the heart of a father with a daughter.”*

I had never imagined that he meant it sincerely.

*He wasn’t just using fatherly love to cover his greed. He did think of me… at least a little… as his daughter.*

Once he opened up, it felt as if the lock on his words loosened.

He began to reveal what had been hidden deep in his heart.

“You are my daughter. What father would allow his daughter to marry a monster?”

“But when I said I didn’t want to marry Prince Regis, you—”

You were going to force me to marry him to protect the investments from the nobles, weren’t you?

…Before I could ask, he shook his head.

“It’s foolish to let emotions guide your choice of a spouse. Emotions dull over time when you live with someone, whether it’s love, hate, or indifference. That’s why I want to pair you with Regis, who has a gentle temperament and will be the future emperor.”

It didn’t sound like a lie.

If he only cared about money, he wouldn’t have opposed a marriage with Nathan.

After all, Nathan’s chances of ascending the throne had improved recently.

Even though Nathan’s prospects had improved, he still wanted Regis. That meant…

*He genuinely was concerned for me.*

But the Duke had clearly made a mistake.

He didn’t know what Regis would eventually do to Claudia.

“The Crown Prince is not as good a man as you think he is, Father.”

“Are you still clinging to that foolish notion, even after everything I’ve said?”

“I’m not just saying this on a whim. Before deciding, I closely observed both the Crown Prince and the other prince. I’m sure of it now. The Crown Prince lacks character, and the other prince is kinder than he seems.”

I held his hand tightly.

“Please trust my judgment. I know much more about the two of them than you do.”

There was nothing I could do but plead with him. I couldn’t exactly tell him that Regis would one day try to kill me.

“Hmph… Are you certain?”

“Yes, I am.”

At my firm reply, the Duke’s expression became conflicted.

He paced around for a while before letting out a heavy sigh.

“I came here today hoping to persuade you. But it seems I am the one who’s been persuaded.”

“Does that mean you’re giving me your blessing?”

“Yes, but if anything strange happens, you must come to me at once. Then I’ll deal with the other prince…”

“The other prince?”

He quickly shook his head at my question.

“No, forget it. There’s no need to say anything more now.”

What did he mean by dealing with Nathan if something went wrong?

Despite making such a strange comment, the Duke nonchalantly changed the subject.

“Before I let you go, I’d like to see your archery skills. Come to the Duke’s hunting grounds tomorrow at 3 o’clock with Nathan.”

“Hunting with Prince Nathan?”

“Anyone can wield a sword, but shooting a bow requires a calm mind. You can tell a lot about a person by their archery skills—whether they are at peace, harbor resentment, or have a cruel or kind nature.”

It seemed he was determined to carefully observe Nathan with a keen eye.

Would Nathan, with his straightforward and blunt nature, be able to meet the Duke’s exacting standards?

I wasn’t sure.

“That’s a bit…”

“If I find the prince acceptable by my standards, not only will I approve the marriage, but I’ll also tell you where Marie is being held.”

“Marie?!”

“Yes, I’ll bring her back.”

My ears perked up at this.

His approval and the return of Marie?

*It’s just a hunt. It can’t be that hard. Although I’m a little nervous, if it means getting Marie back…*

After some thought, I nodded.

“Alright. I’ll let him know.”

How could I refuse such a good opportunity?

I accepted his offer without a second thought.

 

* * *

 

I had been worried that Nathan might refuse, but it turned out to be unnecessary.

Surprisingly, he readily accepted the Duke’s request.

Even though the Duke had openly stated that he wanted to test him, Nathan didn’t seem bothered at all.

In fact, he looked like he expected it.

“It makes sense for the Duke to be worried. After all, he’s marrying his daughter off to someone like me.”

“Don’t say things like ‘someone like me.'”

“Why not?”

“It sounds like you’re putting yourself down. What’s wrong with you? Just look in the mirror, you’re so handsome.”

I felt proud for waking up early and helping him get ready.

Nathan, freshly shaven and groomed from the morning, looked more radiant than ever.

Even more so than Regis, who was famous in society for his good looks.

*He’s more than good enough as a husband. Father will be impressed.*

His outfit was also impeccable.

A crisp white shirt that subtly showcased his toned physique, paired with fine hunting leather boots.

It was an outfit that evoked a certain rugged fantasy.

Anyone would be smitten at first glance.

“If I were truly your lover, we would go everywhere together. When you have a handsome partner, you want to show them off.”

“Isn’t that a bit much? Though I can’t say it’s unpleasant to hear.”

“No, it’s not flattery at all…”

“Alright, alright. Let’s just finish getting ready.”

He chuckled softly at my words and took one last look in the mirror.

Then, as usual, he covered his face completely.

Watching as his handsome face was concealed behind layers of cloth, I couldn’t help but sigh with disappointment.

“Do you really have to cover your face today? After all that grooming this morning, it seems such a waste.”

“No.”

“Why? There won’t be any other women at the hunting grounds except me.”

It wasn’t just that it seemed a waste to cover up his face.

Nathan’s striking appearance could help win over the Duke’s favor.

*Of course, the Duke wants to see his archery skills, not his looks, but… it wouldn’t hurt to have a handsome son-in-law.*

But Nathan remained firm in his refusal.

He had his reasons.

“I’ve been covering my face for so long that it feels… embarrassing to show it now.”

“Embarrassing?”

“Yeah, imagine suddenly not covering a part of yourself that you’ve always hidden.”

I thought about his words for a moment.

*Would it feel like going out in public in just your underwear?*

Thinking about it like that, I understood how he felt.

I couldn’t press him further about showing his face.

“Alright…”

“I’m glad that pointless argument is over. Now, how about you get dressed? Unless you’re planning to go out in your nightgown.”

“Oh…! That’s right, my dress!”

I had been so focused on helping Nathan get ready that I completely forgot I was still in my nightclothes.

Realizing this, I quickly rushed to finish my own preparations.

 

* * *

 

On the way to the hunting grounds, I could tell that Nathan was tense.

His expression was slightly stiff, and he remained silent the entire time, which only made me worry.

“Are you nervous?”

“Of course. Meeting your future father-in-law is always a daunting task. I’m sure other men feel the same.”

“But didn’t you kiss me right in front of him last time?”

“That was different. I was angry then, and the situation was already such a mess that it couldn’t get any worse…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence.

We had arrived at the entrance of the hunting grounds, where the Duke was waiting for us.

It was still too far to make out his face clearly, but one thing was obvious even from a distance.

*The Duke’s energy is intense…*

His eyes glinted sharply as he fixed his gaze on Nathan.

 

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